The top 10 best movies of the 1st half of 2015...

Ching's Top 10 best movies of the first half of 2015...and the worst movie of the year so far

Welcome to my top 10 list of the best movies of the first half of 2015, and my pick for the worst movie of the year so far. I know I'm going to get shit from a lot of people as my pick for worst movie was a big hit with many critics. 

Without further ado, here we go...

Honorable Mentions:

Trainwreck, About Elly, Kung Fury, Entourage

10. Kingsman  ****

My pick for the best action movie of the year. The church massacre scene...just, holy shit! Quite possibly the best action scene ever made! Then there's that mushroom clouds scene...okay, not as cool as the church action scene, but trippy as fuck, surreal, and kind of mind blowing...literally. While not quite as good as Kick-Ass, I will still refer to Kingsman as the Kick-Ass of spy movies. I'm down with turning this into a series, and I'll be more excited for the next installment of this than the next Bond.

9. Predestination   ****

This is a movie I feel like I have to watch at least 3 or 4 times to fully get the plot. Even reading the plot summary on wikipedia after the movie, trying my best to comprehend everything, I felt like my brain was hurting. Of all time travel movies, this one is the biggest mind fuck, and perhaps the most mind blowing as well.

 Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FcK_UiVV40

8. Cobain: A Montage of Heck  ****

Surprised to say that the trippiest movie of 2015 is a documentary about Kurt Cobain, which kind of reminded me of the brilliant short Canadian documentary RYAN. I was expecting your standard talking heads with concert footage documentary, and was very surprised by the incredibly surreal style of the movie, with a psychorealist style, depicting the psychological breakdown of Kurt Cobain. They have a lot of good source material including Kurt Cobain's own notebook (which is animated in such a cool way), audio interviews with Kurt Cobain, where his stories are animated in a rotoscoped style, interviews with his family, and what's even kind of haunting is actual home video footage of him and Courtney Love. It's documentary filmmaking that thinks way outside the box. It's definitely the best documentary I've seen about a musician.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqyPMyC2T0s

7. Ex Machina  ****

This is a movie that you appreciate more after the credits, having time to think it over and discuss it. In fact, I actually had this movie ranked lower on my list originally, but it was a conversation I had with a friend of mine that lead me to give it a higher rank, as our talk made me appreciate the movie's complexities more. 

This is the most low key AI movie I've seen in a long time. Primarily a cast of 3 actors, an ultra rich scientist who's designed the most human looking robot imaginable, the expert that's asked to come talk to the robot, and determine whether she can pass as an actual human being, and of course the robot her...itself? When you develop a machine with human-like consciousness, should the robots get the same rights as humans? Is it wrong to destroy a machine, if it has consciousness?

Ex Machina is smart, unpredictable, with its fair share of fucked up moments. Not only do you not know where the plot's going, the characters' motivations are unknown, including the robot herself. Ex Machina never goes into overblown Hollywood territory, it stays low key, with some nice twists to it. Admittedly I was a little restless at times, but the 3rd act of the movie completely won me over.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI8XBKb6DQk

6. Chappie  ****

So...this is not quite as smart of an AI movie as my #7 pick, in fact, the movie gets so utterly absurd towards the end. On the other hand, I never expected that a movie about a scientist being able to put human consciousness into a robot for the first time (the scientist raving about a robot that can write poetry) would end up in an absolutely hilarious movie where a group of thugs get a hold of the robot and turn Chappie unknowingly into a gangsta robot. The scene of Chappie stealing cars is one of the funniest things!! Hilarious all the way through, then Hugh Jackman is some evil dude that unleashes his super duper ass kicking robot, and when it turns into a full blown action movie, it delivers far better robot action than anything in the Transformers movie. So yes, this is a leave your brain at the door movie, but a damn good one!  

5. Spring  ****

This is a very interesting arthouse blending of genres to which I have to say, I wish I could be ranking this movie higher. Kudos to the filmmakers for being inspired by Before Sunrise and saying, "What if we made a horror movie version of Before Sunrise?" Man meets beautiful woman who turns out to be some crazy transforming...I still don't know what to call her, but it's a more complicated explanation than just being a werewolf. Spring has easily the most powerful opening I can remember in a long time. 3 minutes into the movie, I was already in tears.

Once it turns into a romance...unfortunately the couple don't quite have the chemistry of Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight. Once it goes into horror movie mode and the guy realizes what type of beautiful beast he's fallen in love with, its plot is more complicated than you'd expect, and it's fun going along with the movie's surprises. With the horror, there's a sweetness to it and some brilliant comedic bits. If only the chemistry between the couple was better, this really could have been #1.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=668ZdEbXlPY

4. Inside Out  ****1/2

Pixar's best movie since Toy Story 3, and a definite return to greatness! This is what we want from Pixar movies which has been lacking for the past few years, a visually dazzling movie that will entertain the kids, but an intellectually stimulating movie for adults, as well as one that will emotionally resonate as well, with an original premise.

Inside Out is probably the most psychologically complex movie Pixar has done so far. The human brain is the single most complex object in the entire universe, and the representation of the world of the brain in Inside Out is done with so much imagination. Making characters out of each human emotion and how it controls the person is brilliant. I have read a complaint which I do agree with, which is that Joy and Sadness's journey does go on a little long (this is mostly to entertain the kids), but their journey does lead to the movie's big moral which I won't give away, but god damn what an important life lesson it is.

3. What we do in the shadows  ****1/2

It's a tough fight between this and my pick for #2 for funniest movie of 2015, but I think I'll give the slight edge to this one. If I had seen this movie in theatres, there would have been cases of missing certain jokes due to laughing so hard at the previous one. At least watching at home, I was able to pause the movie, wait for my uncontrollable laughter to stop then resume. It is unfortunate the movie loses a bit of steam towards the last act, but for how good the jokes are, it's very forgivable.

Vampire movies and shows have been done to death, but I love the idea of a mockumentary/reality show premise of simply following the lives of 3 vampires living in the same apartment. Among vampire problems such as sunlight, this movie addresses a bigger issue such as, how do you bite into a human without hitting one of the main arteries? Although this movie is a comedy, it sure as hell doesn't hold back on its gore which it uses to a hilarious effect. Premises like these, I often think like a comedy writer and think and complain about potential jokes that they missed. This one however, I can't think of any missed opportunities.They took the premise and made the absolute funniest movie possible.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAZEWtyhpes

2. Dope  ****1/2

It's cliched to say that Dope was dope. Maybe I'll use this analogy and say that Dope is the equivalent of the finest, stankiest, crystal laden purple kush you can find. (Maybe a bad analogy as the drug used in the movie is MDMA, or "molly", a term I had never heard until I saw this movie) This is easily the most entertaining movie of the year, and one of the funniest. It's like a mix of Boyz N the Hood, Friday, a tiny little bit of Dear White People and maybe a bit of a black version of Better Luck Tomorrow. When it comes to black people comedies, I think this one just might be my all time favorite...and yes, I'm picking this one over Friday. None of the comedy feels forced. All the humor feels so natural to the situation and it never feels like the filmmakers are trying to get laughs.


What is a harder life than being a black guy living in the ghetto? Being a black nerd living in the ghetto. I know some people will complain that the narrative is all over the place, but I enjoyed just going with it, as it's nice when you're unable to predict where the movie's going. To quote James Berardinelli's review as he sums it up a lot better than I could, "Criss-crossing genres like an out-of-control hip hop song, Famuyiwa dabbles in the teen sex comedy, the urban gangster story, and the fish out of water scenario. He gives us suspense, gross-out humor, a cute romance, and a sermon about the status of race in America."

Sadly Dope under-performed at the box office, and I hope it can find an audience when it's out on DVD. I hope that Dope can join the likes of Do the Right Thing, and Boyz N The Hood as the most iconic black movies as I think it's every bit as good.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L41xwM8tIRQ

1. The Voices  ****1/2

I do have to start this by saying that this is a really really fucked up movie. I would even say that Dexter comes off as a Disney show in comparison to how dark and fucked up The Voices is. You've been warned. This movie is not for everyone, but if you're willing to go into a really dark, fucked up territory, this is a very original movie you will not forget anytime soon. I was conflicted on whether to give #1 to this or DOPE, but I think I have to go with this one for its originality and it sheer audacity. If you look up the word "audacity" in the dictionary, the end credits of The Voices should be in it. Only people who've seen it will know what I'm talking about. 

Talk about transcending my expectations, this is the best serial killer movie I've seen in a very long time. The trailer makes it look like a one dimensional dark comedy (our main character has full on conversations with his pets...who are awesomely hilarious characters might I add); fact is, I don't remember the last serial killer movie that went as deep into the psychology of a psychopath, and his slow descent into madness as well as this one. The Voices is a phenomenal character study, on top of being such a morbidly dark comedy, and being pretty fucking suspenseful as well. I was surprised to learn that this was directed by the same girl who directed Persepolis. Talk about a female filmmaker with much bigger figurative balls than the majority of male filmmakers to make a movie this fucked up.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQpV9Q0A7E

Worst movie of 2015 so far... 

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl  **

I am sure there were worse movies than this, but I didn't see them. If this movie didn't come with such a wave of praise, I might be easier on it, but this is one case where I truly feel the critics got it wrong. This movie is irritating! Instead of trying to be an authentic dramedy about someone dying of cancer, it becomes a big self indulgent, hipster, try so hard to be quirky and hip wank fest. First time I'll say this, I think intellectual, postmodern pandering is every bit as irritating as pandering to the lowest common denominator. This movie reeked of filmmakers being all pleased with themselves being like, "Hey look, we're referencing Ingmar Bergman, look how smart we are! We know our classics." Or even more irritating, having our main character read his college essay in a Werner Herzog accent. It feels like a movie that panders to intellectuals who are pleased with themselves for getting all these obscure references. It's a movie that lacks its own identity. I'm getting tired of this postmodern bullshit. Some movies do it well, DOPE made some really cool references. This one runs it into the ground. I don't see how people can be annoyed by JUNO trying so hard to be hip and quirky, but defending this movie. This one is 1000 times more irritating, with a much shittier sense of humor.

Here's the thing...this movie's comedy writing is fucking awful! The characters are rather 1 dimensional and the movie spends so much time trying to be all hip and cool that the drama just completely fails. Barely any of the movie felt authentic. It really is sad state of things especially for an indy film when I sit there watching it, wishing I was watching the mainstream, chick flick tearjerker The Fault in Our Stars instead. That movie sure as hell has much better comedy writing, much better developed characters, better performances, and it's simply a more powerful, authentic drama about cancer. 

Of all the critics, David Edelstein truly got it right:

http://www.vulture.com/2015/06/review-me-and-earl-and-the-dying-girl.html

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qfmAllbYC8

A new financial fuck myself experiment - financial fuck myself get in good shape and become a bad ass martial artist along the way experiment...

First off, my latest short film that got into the Toronto Indy Film Fest - CHASING ROADRUNNER is now available to watch at chingofcomedy.com  Please watch it if you haven’t had the chance to.  Okay...

The Financial fuck myself experiment has been pretty successful at getting my lazy ass writing again.  Now in attempt to further better myself, I will be extending this fuck myself experiment to my own personal health and fitness...and hopefully becoming a bad ass martial artist along the way.  Yes, I know I haven’t updated my writing experiment blog in a while, I’ll do that soon. 

It’s bad when I try to flex my muscle in attempt to intimidate someone, and then all I get is laughter.  People would say, “It’s almost as if you don’t have any muscles at all.”  I then try to tell people that I have stealthy muscles and that taking a punch from me is like getting hit by an Obama drone attack, but no one seems to believe me.    

Some people who see me, a 6’2” guy, but incredibly scrawny think I’m completely wasting my height by...ya know, being scrawny and boney as fuck.  The #1 most clichéd question I get from people who marvel at my height is whether I play basketball and when I tell them I don’t, they look so disappointed, as if I’m wasting this height of mine.  But, I’m not wasting my height.  Hey guys, you know what’s awesome about being tall? Being able to see over your short midget asses!!  You know what’s a way more fun sport?  Curling!  No jokes, curling is actually a lot of fun.  And badminton...that’s a sport where I use my height to my advantage. 

Anyways...

There’s a reason you never see me posting shirtless pictures of myself.  It’s not because it’s a douchey thing to do.  It’s because I really have no upper body to show off.  I don’t even have a six pack which is kind of sad for how skinny I am.  Don’t get me wrong, if I had a 6 pack, I would totally post shirtless pictures every day.  If I had photoshop skills, I’d totally photoshop a 6 pack on myself...but sadly, my photoshop skills are as bad as my upper body.

My good friend Richard Fung (The sensei of Fung Fu) decided a year ago he needed to get in good shape.  So, he posted a picture of his somewhat flabby self, then went to the gym steadily 4 days a week.  He posted a picture of himself a year later, and the dude is fucking ripped.  He had a goal, he committed, and the results speak for themselves.      

I’m not going to make that commitment.  4 days a week lifting weights is just too much.  Why?  Because weight lifting fucking sucks!  Even lighting weights once a week is too much.  It’s about as fun as loading heavy shit into a cube van.  Seriously, weight lifting is just lots of pain, and a shitload of boredom to go along with the pain, might I add a shitload of insecurity as I watch other people in the gym lifting like 10 times what I’m lifting.  The only time I would be interested to return to a weight room would be if I showed up with like 4 other guys on Halloween to the YMCA, and we were all dressed up like a different member of the village people. I asked the YMCA employees if that was ever done and he said no.

Back on topic...So, what do I plan to do to get in shape?  Kickboxing class once a week.  It’s a start.  Maybe if I get in better shape, it’ll be more than that, but baby steps is what I need.

For those of you that have never attended, kickboxing class is the absolute most intense work out imaginable.  I used to think a punk rock moshpit was the most excessively sweat inducing activity, but it’s actually nothing in comparison to a kickboxing class.  When you go into the change room, the floor is like a skating rink of other people’s sweat, and after one kickboxing class, there’s not a single muscle in the body that isn’t in pain.  I remember having to roll out of bed, because I couldn’t sit up.  While I don’t have weights at my disposal, I figure the excessive amount of push ups, sit ups, and planking should suffice.  If I can commit to this class once a week for at least a year, I think I’ll be in pretty good shape. 

Even better, I’ll hopefully become somewhat decent at kickboxing.  I’ve always had a fascination for the martial arts.   Despite the fact that kickboxing class is 90 minutes of suffering and pain, it’s at least kind of fun.  I’ve given up on weights, but I think I can stick to this.

Now, I’ve accepted that laziness has been written into my DNA, so I need to get around it.  I now have a new financial fuck myself plan.  A good friend of mine...let’s call him Dick Siemens (this is a real name. I ain’t makin this shit up).  He has a really big debt with another friend of mine...let’s call him Jakov Mehboob (okay, this name isn’t real, but there really is someone out there named Jakov, and Mehboob is a much more common name than you’d expect).  I absolutely must attend one kickboxing class a week.   Mr. Siemens will text me every Sunday night to find out if I went to kickboxing class or not.  If the answer is no, I have to give $25 to Jakov to which he will castrate the $25 off Dick’s debt. 

Now, there are exemptions to this.  If I didn’t make it to kickboxing class, but I did have a really intense work out in another form (ie: playing squash with my older brother...trust me, this is tiring as fuck!!, or I went to a punk rock show with a really rockin moshpit), then that’s good enough substitute workout that I don’t have to pay.  Or I get sick, it’s probably not a good idea to go to class and risk infecting other people.  Or if I’m on vacation, but that one’s obvious. 

But otherwise, I better get my lazy ass into kickboxing class once a week , or my wallet will take even more vicious rapings.  I’m not going to blog every week about this like I do with the writing experiment, but I’ll keep a score card for those of you that want to know how I’m doing.  This deal takes affect this week and will go for the rest of 2013.  Who knows what the future has in store?  Maybe a year from now, you’ll see a shitload of shirtless pics with my bad ass 6 pack flooding the internet.  

Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 7 - I'm back to playing 500 ball!

THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL

I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.

RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:

I needed to write a short film by April 30th or I'd have to buy 5 grams of we....soil and give it to my friend for free. To this date, my financially threatening muse has gotten 12 grams of free soil. Anyways, I had a very crazy week-end (unrelated note, The Croods 3D is one motherfucking trippy ass movie!), and on Monday when she came by to pick stuff up, I gave her a recap of my crazy weekend, then I told her it would really help me if instead of the 11:59 PM deadline on Tuesday, she let me work all night on Tuesday if necessary and the script would be in her inbox early on Wednesday morning. She said no problem, just get it done. 

So, Tuesday rolled around, after getting back from work, I had maybe written up to page 3 in the previous days. I ate, watched The Daily show, took a half hour nap and then took my uhh...creative medicine which is taken by uhh...inhaling smoke.

1 A.M is when I started, and at 6 a.m I had finally finished the short script. It's currently 22 pages long, which I definitely want to make shorter, but for now I left all the jokes in. Result: I won, motherfuckers!

Is it good? I think it turned out pretty good. It's a romantic comedy, and a satire about today's cellphone culture. Most interesting thing that happened; I originally planned for a low key ending, but at 4 a.m, a completely different ending came to my brain. An ending that may be totally ridiculous, but far more memorable than my original ending. I still don't know if this ending that came to my head in a state of exhaustion is good. I'll wait to hear back.

So, with this short script complete...perhaps, I might be shooting a new short film this summer. Though the original concept of the script would have been much easier to shoot. The new stuff I added in will cost more $$$$ and more headaches too. Who knows?

So, that now makes me 3 for 6 in this writing experiment.

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:

 

I'm going with the same challenge I gave to myself two weeks ago, but failed. Write 2 blogs within 10 days: My blog about the worst & most over-rated movies of 2012, and a Roger Ebert blog...something I should have done much earlier, but something's better than nothing. The deadline is April 12th, 11:59 PM. Once again, here's an opportunity for an easy $25. Email me your paypal email address, and I'll send $25 to 2 people. How I pick who gets paid? I don't know. It'll be random.

 

Main reason I'm not going going to write anything new outside of blogging is because I'll take some time to go through my sitcom pilot and my short film and re-write and revise. Re-writes are equally as important as the writing itself. 

 

Recap of the previous writing challenges:

Experiment 5 - The due date was 420, due time: 4:20 PM. An HQ of weed...I mean soil, was on the line.

I needed to either write episode 2 of my sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human Project”.

RESULT – I LOST

Yeah, I texted my friend on 420 asking for an extension to Sunday night and I’d add in an extra 1.5 grams if I lost.Then on Sunday, I woke up hung over as shit from the big 5 year college reunion party the night before.I tried to write, but man...writing while hungover is just...not...good!It’s like trying to take a shit after someone slipped a constipation pill into your drink.So, I’m now 2 for 5. I’m currently playing 400 ball, which is like...Blue Jays bad.I need to win the next challenge to be better than the baseball the blue jays are playing.

EXPERIMENT 4 - I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where I recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger Ebert. As you can see, those blogs have not been posted, so I “lost” the challenge. If I had lost, I was going to paypal $25 to two people who posted theirpaypal email address or messaged me with it. Well...

I LOST...SORT OF.

A bunch of people did read my blog, but no one bothered to leave me their paypal address, therefore I didn’t lose any money after all. So ha! Take that bitches! You lost an opportunity for an easy $25. Now I still do want to write those blogs, but I’ll save it for another time.

What can I say? I had a busy week-end, I got lazy, and I noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal address...laziness got the best of me again. So sort of thank you for not posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for next time...post your paypal address. Tough love is what I need to not be lazy. It looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose will likely end up getting me drunk.

Experiment 3: I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.

THE RESULT: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning.

It was nice to finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html

EXPERIMENT 2 - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:
http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html

WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”

And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to it."

RESULT – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers next time I see you. They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip.

EXPERIMENT 1 – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html

CURRENT TALLY:

3 wins
3 losses

Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 6 - I'm doing as poorly as the Blue Jays...

Financial fuck myself writing experiment - Part 6

THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL

I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.

RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:

The due date was 420, due time: 4:20 PM. An HQ of weed...I mean soil, was on the line.

I needed to either write episode 2 of my sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human Project”.

RESULT – I LOST

Yeah, I texted my friend on 420 asking for an extension to Sunday night and I’d add in an extra 1.5 grams if I lost.  Then on Sunday, I woke up hung over as shit from the big 5 year college reunion party the night before.  I tried to write, but man...writing while hungover is just...not...good!  It’s like trying to take a shit after someone slipped a constipation pill into your drink.  So, I’m now 2 for 5.  I’m currently playing 400 ball, which is like...Blue Jays bad.  I need to win the next challenge to be better than the baseball the blue jays are playing.

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:

The due date is April 30^th, 11:59 PM.  5 grams is on the line.  Same person from challenge #1, and 3 and 5 is the enforcer.

There’s a short film that I tried to write a few times, but was never happy with.  I’ve ditched the 8 pages I’d written previously and have started fresh with new characters, but same concept.  Just like my stoner sitcom, it’s something I’ve tried to write in the past, but was never happy with what I came up.  Now I’ve changed the female character, as I’m somewhat basing her on someone I’ve gotten to know recently; as a result, I think she’s a much funnier character than the original female character I just pulled out of my ass.  There you go, folks.  Sometimes it’s better to use real people as inspiration than pull people out your anus. 

Recap of the previous writing challenges:

EXPERIMENT 4 - I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where I recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger Ebert. As you can see, those blogs have not been posted, so I “lost” the challenge. If I had lost, I was going to paypal $25 to two people who posted their paypal email address or messaged me with it. Well...

I LOST...SORT OF.

A bunch of people did read my blog, but no one bothered to leave me their paypal address, therefore I didn’t lose any money after all. So ha! Take that bitches! You lost an opportunity for an easy $25. Now I still do want to write those blogs, but I’ll save it for another time.

What can I say? I had a busy week-end, I got lazy, and I noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal address...laziness got the best of me again. So sort of thank you for not posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for next time...post your paypal address. Tough love is what I need to not be lazy. It looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose will likely end up getting me drunk.

Experiment 3: I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.

THE RESULT: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning.

It was nice to finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html 

EXPERIMENT 2 - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html 

WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”

And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to it."

RESULT – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers next time I see you. They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip.

EXPERIMENT 1 – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html

CURRENT TALLY:

2 wins
3 losses

 Click here to go back to The Ching of Comedy

Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 5 - 420's comin soon, bitches!!

Financial fuck myself writing experiment - Part 5

THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL

I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.

RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:

I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where I recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger Ebert.  As you can see, those blogs have not been posted, so I “lost” the challenge.  If I had lost, I was going to paypal $25 to two people who posted their paypal email address or messaged me with it.  Well...

A bunch of people did read my blog, but no one bothered to leave me their paypal address, therefore I didn’t lose any money after all.  So ha!  Take that bitches!  You lost an opportunity for an easy $25.  Now I still do want to write those blogs, but I’ll save it for another time. 

What can I say?  I had a busy week-end, I got lazy, and I noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal address...laziness got the best of me again.  So sort of thank you for not posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for next time...post your paypal address.  Tough love is what I need to not be lazy.  It looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose will likely end up getting me drunk. 

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:

The due date is 420, due time: 4:20 PM.  An HQ of weed...I mean soil, is on the line.  My friend from challenge #1 and 3 is once again going to be the enforcer, test reader, and constructive criticizer...if that’s even a word.  MS Word is not showing any red squiggly line below, so maybe it is a word. 

So...I need to either write episode 2 of my sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human Project”. 

Recap of the previous writing challenges:

Experiment 3 (last CHALLENGE): I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.

THE RESULT: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning.

It was nice to finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html

EXPERIMENT 2 - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html

WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”

And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to it."

RESULT – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers next time I see you. They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip.

EXPERIMENT 1 – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html

CURRENT TALLY:

2 wins
2 losses

Financial fuck myself writing experiment - Part 4

THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL

I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.

RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:

Experiment 3 (last CHALLENGE): I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM.  If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.

THE RESULT: I WON!!  This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time.  I’ve taken quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote;  I kept re-starting.  I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning. 

 It was nice to finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future episodes.  It was about 25 pages I wrote.  I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html

My current tally is 2 wins, and 1 loss.

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:

2 BLOGS...

The next deadline will be April 14, 11:59 PM.  I need to write 2 blogs this week.  One of them is one I’ve wanted to write for a long time, but keep procrastinating and that’s my blog about the most over-rated/worst movies of 2012.  The other blog will be about Roger Ebert.  As a huge fan of his, I feel the need to write a blog about him. 

While I didn’t know him personally, nor did we even exchange emails (I think one time he responded to my comment on his blog when I was asking him about a trippy animation he posted on his blog.  I asked him where he found the trippy animation, he dug around a bit and told me where he found it, and since then the Animusic DVD is part of my awesome things to watch while high collection...thanks Ebert!) , the man is arguably the most important, influential, smartest and most respected movie critic of all time.  So much of what I know about movies and even my love of movies is due to Roger Ebert. 

As a film criticism nerd, I do feel the need to write a blog about him.  I won’t make it overly sentimental, as I didn’t know him personally. I don't know if I'll really say much that hasn't already been said, but I'll give it a shot.

So...if I don’t deliver these two blogs by Sunday April 14...

Whoever is reading this blog, if you have paypal, feel free to either leave your paypal address here or email jeffching@gmail.com with your paypal address.  If I fail this challenge, I will pick two email addresses and paypal $25 to each one.  How will I decide which 2 email addresses get it?  I don’t know.  Maybe I’ll just Eeny, meeny, miny, moe that shit.  Or maybe I’ll send money to whoever I like better.  Who knows?  But, you have a chance to get $25 due to my laziness, so why not?

Recap of the previous writing challenges:

EXPERIMENT 2 - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html

WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”

And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to it."

RESULT – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers next time I see you. They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip.

EXPERIMENT 1 – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html

CURRENT TALLY:

2 wins
1 loss

Click here to return to The Ching of Comedy