tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58288783531141114512024-03-13T12:58:37.975-07:00The Ching of Comedy's blogI don't really know what I'll be blogging about. I suppose the majority of it will be film related, as in movie reviews, things about movies that piss me off, and perhaps taking shits on movies that deserve to be shat on.
Besides that, I'll just continue living, observing things and if I notice things that I can ridicule, bitch or rant about, I'll write about it here.
Thanks for reading.The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-69145712767905113592024-01-10T12:52:00.000-08:002024-01-10T12:53:52.157-08:00The top 10 best movies of 2023 <p>It's that time of year again. At the beginning of 2023, I would have given my pick for #1 a 0.05% chance of even making my top 10 list, let alone placing #1. That is still the most shocking thing by far about this year's top 10 list more than any other year. I had made a prediction of Past Lives topping my list when I had first read glowing reviews from people who saw it at Sundance. It's close, but not quite there. Without further ado...</p><p><b>Honorable mentions:</b><br /><span style="text-indent: -24px;">Air, Dream Scenario, Dungeons and Dragons, Super Mario Bros, Saltburn, Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant, Bystanders, Oppenheimer, The Subtle art of not giving a fuck, A Man called Otto, Theater Camp, The Iron Claw</span></p><p><br /></p><p><b>10. Cocaine Bear ****</b><br /><br />When it comes to campy as fuck movies with titles that describe the whole plot (ie: Snakes on a Plane, Sharknado), Cocaine Bear is like...The Godfather of campy as fuck, entire plot described in its title movie subgenre. It is exactly what it needs to be, it doesn't take itself seriously, the actors are much better than a movie called Cocaine Bear really needs, but fuck it they're great at their flabbergastation at at the absurd plot they find themselves in. The intentionally awful CGI bear wreaking havoc on people is absolutely fucking hilarious. This movie was just an absolute blast to see with a packed audience. "Directed by Elizabeth Banks". I already respected her a lot, but now she's just a total bad ass. </p><p><b><br />9. Flora and Son ****1/2</b><br /><br />John Carney is obsessed with the healing nature of music. Every single one of his movies are about human connection through music... and he's even created his own subgenre of the realistic, low key musical. His movies are always heartwarming and charming movies for people who typically roll their eyes at "heartwarming and charming" movies. All his films end with the emotion of wanting to hug people around you...too bad I watched Flora and Son alone. I'm okay with John Carney making this kind of movie for his entire career, I'll be back for them all. This movie was just absolutely fucking delightful, and Eve Hewson puts on the best performance of any John Carney movie. She's a force to be reckon with.</p><p><span style="text-indent: -24px;"><b><br />8. Cram ****1/2</b><br /></span><br style="text-indent: -24px;" /><span style="text-indent: -24px;">I was sent this screener and asked to write a review for WylieWrites, and I was shocked at how enthralled I was by this movie. This is a 44 minute movie and this is most likely the movie on my list that no one's heard of. I wasn't even sure where to find it, but you can rent it on youtube for $3.99. It's worth it!<br /><br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtlvu4Masu4">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtlvu4Masu4<br /></a><br />Instead of the usual haunted house, we get a haunted library, and it's a horror movie about procrastination. What a concept! When you say that everything's been done, no. Not this movie. I don't remember the last time I saw a horror movie so catered to nerds and academics. Cracking jokes about MLA vs. APA citation? Fuck yeah. <br /><br />This is the worst fever dream imaginable to someone who's left his entire essay till the night before. This almost feels like if Lisa Simpson fever dream, if she was trippin' on DMT. And the horror movie filmmaking is effective, and despite a very low budget, you don't feel the low budgetness of it. Director Abie Sidell has made a very creative horror short, and my pick for best horror of 2023. <br /><br /><b><br />7. Anatomy of a Fall ****1/2</b></span></p><p>I'm actually shocked that a Palme D'or winner at Cannes has made my list. 9/10 times, Palme D'or winners are boring as fuck, and when I saw this was 2.5 hours, I really didn't feel like watching it. Turns out, I was very wrong. This is the best courtroom drama in a very long time. It's a family drama cleverly disguised as a murder mystery. It's not about whether she killed her husband; it's all about every single aspect of her life examined under a microscope, and all that we learn about their fractured marriage. The big argument wins the, "My butt cheeks were clenched for the entire" scene award. Holy fuck that was tense. <br /><br />While I wasn't totally sure how I felt about the ending as the credits rolled, this is a movie that really strengthened postmortem. The more that I paced back and forth thinking about it, the better it got. It will stick with you for a long time.<br /><br /><b>6. Jules ****1/2</b><br /><br />This is E.T. of the 2020s. An alien's ship crashes into the backyard of Ben Kingsley. He tries to report to the police that an alien landed in his backyard, but of course everyone in his small town thinks he's just an old man who's losing it. Turns out the alien is rather friendly, and unthreatening, so Ben Kingsley lets him stay at his house until he fixes his flying saucer. Turns out, he also likes to eat apples and has a thing about collecting dead cats. <br /><br />Jules is the most charming take on alien movies. It's ultimately a friendship movie between three old people who would never associate with each other if they weren't the only three people in town aware of the alien's existence, and the alien himself. It finds just the right level of ridiculousness in its plot, and they have some fun rules when it comes to this particular alien. <br /><br />Ultimately this is a movie that explores old age and coming to terms with your mortality. As much as I was laughing at the absurdity of the premise, the drama hits really fucking hard and it may have been the biggest tear jerker of the year. This was such a surprise and criminally under-rated.<br /></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="text-indent: 0px;"><br /><b>5. Past Lives ****1/2</b><br /><br />One of the most memorable theatrical experiences of the year was the last 10 minutes of Past Lives. I felt like the whole audience was holding their breath. Absolute silence, as I feel like everyone was just inching closer to the screen and no daydreams, texts, or anything was going to take anybody's attention from the gravity of this moment. What a complicated love triangle. What is she going to do? </span><span style="text-indent: 0px;">Most Hollywood romances will make it very obvious to the audience who we should be cheering for; not Past Lives. She has something great with her current husband who is so understanding, but she also has great chemistry with her childhood sweetheart from South Korea and there's no doubt they'd be together today if she hadn't moved to America. And when it comes to her choice, I like the fact that it's a feel good ending to some, and a sad ending to others. <br /><br />I even recall the moment where I really thought I could keep it together. If I try hard enough, I can usually hold back tears, but then the editor uses one quick flashback shot and in my head, I was thinking, "Well done editor, but fuck you. The floodgate has opened and there's no fucking way I'll be able to hold back tears from this point on." That's not to say that it's a sad ending or a happy one, it's bittersweet. It's complicated. In a genre that's usually obvious in how the audience should feel, this one is simply true to life. <br /><br />On another note: Did you know that Celine Song only did 2 re-writes of the script before it went to production? Like, what in the actual fuck?!?! </span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="text-indent: 0px;"><b>3. <br />4. The Holdovers ****1/2</b><br /><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0px;">I think this comment by Mike Wood on facebook perfectly sums up the movie, so I'm going to copy and paste his comment:</span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">"This was incredible! Never too saccharine, never too grim, never too emotionally-manipulative — everything was “just right”. It deserves to become an eternal holiday classic more than anything I’ve seen since the decade it’s set-in."<br /><br />This is the Christmas movie for people who hate Christmas movies. I hope this becomes the new Christmas classic that people watch every single Christmas. <br /><br />I'm going to try to make it a thing. Alexander Payne has an almost perfect resume when it comes to low key dramedies, but this could be his best. <br /><br /></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="text-indent: 0px;"><b>3. 3. Shortcomings ****1/2</b><br /><br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0px;">Asian representation in Hollywood has come a long way, since Crazy Rich Asians showed that a movie with an all Asian cast can make fuckloads of money. Let's be honest, that movie was kinda lame, superficial and mediocre, but look where we're at now...Everything Everywhere All At Once, Beef, Past Lives, and Shortcomings. I mentioned Crazy Rich Asians, because Shortcomings sure loves taking the piss out of that movie. <br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0px;"><br />Shortcomings is an Asian mumblecore. I never saw that coming, but I'm so glad it's a thing and I really hope for more! It's Randall Park's directorial debut, and he absolutely knocks it out of the park. I swear, that pun was totally unintentional. I didn't even notice until I re-read it. Anyways...<br /></span><span style="text-indent: 0px;"><br />The dialogue writing is so fucking funny, so many great one liners, and insults that can only be traded by two best friends who know each other so well and have fun with pushing each other's buttons. Justin H. Min is so good, playing a Japanese film snob (I found him very relatable at times) and a totally insufferable prick. He has a lot of clever dialogue, but sometimes you just want to yell at this fucking guy. He has so much potential if only he can keep his fucking mouth shut! His girlfriend Miko is way too good for him, and he's on the verge of wrecking everything good in his life, but maybe that's what he needs for him to finally understand his own shortcomings? By the end, I kinda grew to love this prick and was truly rooting for him to turn his life around. This is the kind of coming of age story I want to see more from Asian filmmakers, and this is the kind of script I would love to be able to write myself. </span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505;"><br /></span><b>2. Poor Things ****1/2</b><br /><br />I love it when movies don't crumble under the weight of their hype. I saw multiple critics praise this as the best movie of the year. If only the movie was a bit shorter, it probably would have been my #1. Still though, watching Poor Things with a big audience truly was an experience. It's wild, weird as fuck, batshit crazy, but should we expect anything less from the director of Dogtooth and The Lobster? At the same time, Yorgos Lanthimos has never made a movie so epic in scale. If you thought Tim Burton was really good at world building, I think Poor Things is on another level. The set designs, the locations, cinematography, the mix of shooting styles...so much fucking imagination and originality. I can't even begin to describe the look, except that you have to see it for yourself. And I didn't think I'd say this either going in, but this is the funniest movie of the year, by a lot, and Emma Stone not only puts on the funniest performance of the year, but I may argue one of the best performances ever. From physical comedy, embodying the movements of the different phases of psychological development from infancy to adulthood to her brutally honest, no bullshit, straight to the point dialogue delivery.<br /><br />Poor Things as an overall movie still is hard to describe. A borderline NC 17 rated, arthouse Barbie meets Frankenstein? Though instead of terrorizing people like the Frankenstein monster, Bella Baxter starts off with the mind of an infant to a true force of nature. Her inability to function in upper class society makes for some of the best fish out of water comedy, with this woman not yet grasping the concept of social etiquette. She does what the fuck she wants. If a baby is annoying her with crying, she'll go punch that baby in the face. Above being a comedy, or a fucked up visual odyssey, I think it's the best coming of age story. How Bella Baxter begins and the person she is at the end is truly something beautiful. I'll quote Emma Stone herself when she won her Golden Globe, "I think this is a romcom. In the sense of, Bella falls in love with life itself, rather than a person. She accepts the good and the bad in equal measure, and that really made me look at life differently; that all of it counts and all of it is important"<span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505;"><br /><br /><br /><span style="background-color: #f0f2f5; font-size: 15px;">1. </span><b style="background-color: #f0f2f5; font-size: 15px; text-indent: 0px;">John Wick Chapter 4</b><span style="background-color: #f0f2f5; font-size: 15px;"> *****</span></span></p><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="text-indent: 0px;"><span style="text-indent: -24px;">I I I still cannot fucking believe that my #1 movie of the year is fucking John Wick Chapter 4. Did that mean 2023 was a weak year for cinema? No. This was a solid year for movies, but John Wick Chapter 4 just happens to be possibly the best action movie ever made, and I think that earns it the #1 spot. I'm still shocked. I thought it was going to be just a mediocre money grab.<br /><br /></span></span>By John Wick 3, I was getting a little tired of the series. Part 3 was waaay too fucking long and got tiresome at the end. So when I heard that John Wick Chapter 4 was almost 3 hours, my reaction was...what the fuck?! It was such a deterrent that I didn't bother watching this at the theatre...that was dumb of me. <br /><br />Why didn't I see this visual spectacle on the big screen? Let's not even talk about the action yet. John Wick 4 is one of the most visually beautiful movies ever made. The cinematography, the colors, the visually stunning sets, the fact that the location scout discovered the most randomly jaw dropping locations in the world, the constantly gorgeous shot compositions. At times I didn't know whether I was more enthralled by the violence or the gorgeous light shows that were going on during action scenes. Pause the movie at any point, and that shot is a fucking painting. I hate that cliched phrase, but it's so true with this movie. This has to win for best cinematography and set designs. Don't pull the whole, "We don't recognize action movies" bullshit for best cinematography. <br /><br />As for the action scenes, I feel like Chad Stahelski had a mission to make the most epic action scenes of all time. The first three John Wicks are full of awesome action scenes, but part 4 simply out-does them all. Far more epic, visually stunning, and adding Donnie Yen to the mix truly surprised me. I expected a standard Asian martial artist, but he turned out to be maybe the single most bad ass action movie character ever. He's the best fucking character they ever introduced into the John Wick universe. <br /><br />Could this movie have been a bit shorter? Perhaps. But at 2 hours 50 mins, I was on board with all of it. The action is completely absurd, but I've never seen it directed with such style, beauty, and chaos. Nothing about this movie was half assed...well okay, perhaps the script. Not gonna lie there. Besides that though, John Wick 4 just looks like such a labor of love. It's almost as if Chad Stahelski is never going to make another movie again and he had to throw absolutely fucking everything on this one last movie. This is simply filmmaking at its absolute best.</p>The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-36735301026141481592023-01-10T10:18:00.003-08:002023-01-16T14:43:05.979-08:00Top 10 best movies of 2022 <p>2022 is in the bag, and I think it was yet another really great year in movies. Just like the previous 2 years, the blockbusters were fine, but the indy films really fucking delivered. Quite a few of my picks have not made other top 10 lists, so I really hope you can seek out the movies on this list that you haven't heard of. </p><p>Honorable mentions: Eternal Spring, Puss In Boots: The Last Wish, Barbarian, Deadstream, All My Puny Sorrows, The Middle Man, Decision to Leave, Hellbender</p><p><b>10. Fire of Love ****</b></p><p>Fire of Love is in a class of its own of the best volcano romance documentary I've ever seen. The love story between two volcanologists who's ultimate passion in life is showing up to erupting volcanos to film them, study them, and look totally bad ass by standing dangerously close to the lava, which truly made for quite the butt clenching experience, watching this on the big screen. We also know from the beginning that their lives will be taken by a volcano, but these two wouldn't have it any other way. Dying of natural causes? Fuck that shit. </p><p>Fire of Love was my favorite theatrical experience. I've seen plenty of footage of erupting volcanos, but never in this level of jaw dropping detail. It was the most overwhelming and immersive experience for both visuals and sound and I really hope that one day this movie returns to a theatre, but until then...whoever I know that has a sick ass home theatre with a giant screen and huge speakers...fuckin invite me over and I'll bring this movie, and some weed, and your minds will be blown. </p><p><b>9. Vengeance ****</b></p><p>The title makes it sound like another Liam Neeson type revenge action movie, but thankfully the writer/director is BJ Novak, and what an ambitious debut film for him. He truly has a lot to say about the current state of America, in one of the funniest movies of the year, that's also a murder mystery, a sorta revenge-ish movie and a satire that has fun poking fun at both Conservatives and Liberals. There's a fish out of water element of a Liberal podcaster who lives in New York City, trying to fit in with a family in a small Texas town. Yes, the movie has a lot of fun with redneck stereotypes, but we grow to love the characters and the bond that develops between the Liberal and the "crazy Texans", as they truly welcome him in as part of their family. </p><p>I don't know if politics have ever been as divisive as they are now. There's no reason why Liberals and Conservatives shouldn't be able to get along, and nothing good will come out of the hatred of people with opposing political beliefs. </p><p>One last thing I never thought I'd write...Ashton Kutcher deserves a fucking best supporting actor Oscar for the moment he shows up and blows everyone's fucking minds. Who knew that Ashton Kutcher had this in him?! </p><p><b>8. Babylon ****</b></p><p>If I can borrow from Adam Does Movies and modify his metaphor a bit, Babylon is the equivalent of Singin' in the Rain, Wolf of Wallstreet, Once Upon a time in Hollywood, and Barbarian having a giant orgy, and giving birth to a crack baby. I mention Barbarian, because Babylon has a roughly 20 minute stretch that was truly scarier and more suspenseful than any horror movie this year. The trailer is very vague about what to expect, but I did not expect the absolute batshit insanity that Babylon was. </p><p>In the first 20 minutes of the movie, we already see an elephant shit on people, golden showers, men snorting cocaine off naked women, and orgies, in an almost X-rated version of the Great Gatsby mansion parties. While this is a love letter to the power of movies, it's also a hate letter to the bullshit of Hollywood. This is no masturbatory movie about the magic of cinema. We see how Hollywood corrupts people, and the rise and fall of actors who reach the top of the mountain, and then their depressing declines. I was not looking forward to a 3 hour movie. I walked into the movie in a tired, pissy mood, but 3 hours later, I walked out energized. I'm going to see this 3 hour epic again in the theatre. </p><p>With Whiplash, La La Land, First man, and now this...every movie by Damien Chazelle truly is an event film to look forward to. </p><p><b>7. Beyond the Infinite Two Minutes ****1/2</b></p><p>What a strange, whimsical, unique, and incredibly well shot time travel movie from Japan. What would you turned on the TV and then saw yourself...two minutes in the future? What would you want to find out from your future self, and how might you capitalize on this? This is maybe the most low key time travel movie, taking place in real time, giving off the illusion that the whole movie was captured in one take. Where did the cuts happen? No fucking clue; they sure hid them really well. </p><p>This movie is fucking hilarious. It's so much fun seeing these every day people trying their best to make sense of this time travel plot they've been thrusted into, and how they can best take advantage of this. It starts with one time travel television 2 minutes into the future, but are they playing with fire when they start adding more time travel TV's, pointing at each other, going further into the future? </p><p>The third act is beyond silly and absurd, but the sillier this movie gets, the more fun it is. I think this may be my favorite time travel movie. </p><p><b>6. Stutz ****1/2</b></p><p>I think this is one of the most important documentaries out there. Jonah Hill has long suffered from anxiety and depression going from therapist to therapist, but one day he found Phil Stutz who's methods have greatly improved his life. With that in mind, he decided to make a documentary about Stutz and his methods, in hopes that his tools can help people all around the world. I am curious to hear from other psychologists what they think of Stutz's tools. </p><p>It's a fascinating documentary, both in the subject matter and how Jonah Hill puts it all together. If you think you're going to sit through a 90 minute therapy session...Jonah Hill pulls a bit of a Charlie Kaufman, drastically changing the whole experience. At first I thought it was a bit pretentious, but watching it again, no, I think it makes the movie more honest. </p><p>What really moved me is the genuine love and friendship between Jonah Hill and Stutz that goes well beyond a doctor - patient relationship. They're both very willing to reveal their vulnerabilities to the world, and the moments in their lives that forever shaped the people they've become. At times, Jonah Hill almost takes over as the therapist, as Stutz talks candidly about his vulnerabilities. As smart as he is, he's still every bit as flawed and insecure as the people he helps, and there's something humbling about that. Nobody has it all figured out. This is the bromance of the year, and you gotta love a therapist-client relationship, where the therapist can joke about banging the client's mom. </p><p><b>5. After Yang ****1/2</b></p><p>I think After Yang is the most human movie ever made about AI, and the most existential AI movie. With 90% of AI movies being about the dangers of robots going rogue and attacking us, here's a movie with quite possibly the most likable AI character ever, being an older brother to an adopted Chinese girl. If AI were given emotions, how would they feel, what vulnerabilities will they have, and how would memories shape and evolve them? </p><p>Sadly Yang breaks down, but in attempting to fix him, they're able to access the memories that he deliberately chose to hold on to, some key interactions he had with every family member and we see what he considered to the be the most important moments in his existence. It's such a beautiful movie, filled with just wonderfully written poetic dialogue and this blurb is doing it zero justice. </p><p>This movie was directed by Kogonada who also directed the criminally under-rated Columbus. He has such a unique filmmaking style with very interestingly framed shots, and his movies are slow paced, but profound and contemplative and I think they're ultimately about the beauty of human connections. I hope he keeps this exact style of filmmaking and I think he'd be an interesting auteur to study in film academia. </p><p>"Did he ever wish he could be human?" </p><p>"That is such a human thing to ask. We always assume other beings want to be human...what's so great about being human?!"</p><p><b>4. The Fallout ****1/2</b></p><p>There have been quite a few movies about school shootings, but The Fallout is by far the best and takes the best approach. It does not feel exploitative in the slightest. In fact, the school shooting happens 10 minutes in, completely offscreen. We don't need to see it, because the movie's concern is about the trauma and grief of the teenagers that survive a school shooting and how fucking difficult it would be to simply move on with their lives. Everybody copes with the pain differently, but the sad reality is the PTSD that is likely to follow them for the rest of their lives. </p><p>With that said though, it's not all grim, as the movie has its share of fucking hilarious and sweet moments as well. I get why a lot of people would not be in the mood to watch a movie with this subject matter, but for how frequently mass shootings happen and how little is done to fix the problem, I think movies like this are so important.This is the most powerful drama of 2022, and it's a shame that it's getting zero Oscar buzz.</p><p> "Did you have the craziest nightmares last night?"</p><p> "You have to be able to sleep to have nightmares"</p><p><b>3. The Swearing Jar ****1/2</b></p><p>This is my pick for the best drama of 2022 and the best romantic drama/comedy I've seen in a long time (with such magnetic chemistry between the two leads and fucking witty dialogue writing). It's also in the subgenre of low key realistic musicals (the kind of musical that doesn't have the contrivance of people breaking into musical numbers that doesn't fit in with real life), popularized by the movie ONCE, but I think Swearing Jar is an overall deeper movie. It's unfortunate that The Swearing Jar has an awful trailer that makes it look like a Hallmark romance, but there are key plot elements that the trailer cannot give away.</p><p>It's a romance with an unconventional structure of time jumps and a slight puzzle element to it, where the audience needs to put the pieces together of what's going on. By the end credits, I was anxious to watch the movie again with my full knowledge of the entire picture. Despite knowing everything that'll happen 2nd time, it sure as hell didn't stop the water works. Canadian cinema has truly put out some real gems over the past few years. </p><p><b>2. Strawberry Mansion *****</b></p><p>I know that calling a movie the trippiest movie of the year, or the most 420 friendly, may not be the most intellectual reason to have it in my top 5, but I just loved Strawberry Mansion. Surreal fever dream movies can sometimes decline in quality as you sober up, but not with this one. I got so lost into the dream world of Strawberry Mansion that I never wanted to leave. This is a delightfully trippy movie, and I don’t remember the last time I used that phrase. </p><p>Utterly mesmerizing, stunningly beautiful to look at, insane, whimsical and, when it comes to movies that deal with dreams, Strawberry Mansion may be the most imaginative. Dreams are often fucked up, free flowing, non-sensical (though they make sense while dreaming), disjointed, sometimes long passages of life can take place when you've only been asleep for 10 minutes, and Strawberry Mansion just captures this better than any other movie I can think of. </p><p>There’s a little Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (on LSD), a little David Lynch and a little Black Mirror. But, at the centre of this crazy mindtrip is an unusual, but beautiful romance.</p><p><b>1. Everything Everywhere All at once *****</b></p><p>What’s left to say that hasn’t already been said about this movie; a movie that is so unusual, so unlike anything else that’s come along in the last…well, forever. Calling the writers/directors (The Daniels) outside-the-box thinkers is the ultimate understatement. They are trillions of lightyears outside the figurative box…in another dimension…on DMT. While most Hollywood movies play it safe, The Daniels tossed the rulebook in the garbage; absolutely anything goes and, boy, do they take huge risks. They’ve pulled off a movie that’s wildly entertaining, absolutely bonkers, trippy, absurdly silly, raunchy and, on the same token, mind-blowing, profound, contemplative, philosophical and tear-jerking. Everything Everywhere All At once truly is the most fitting title the movie can have. It kind of is about everything and it has almost every genre (I just wish they could have had a little bit of horror in it. That's my one nitpick). </p><p>I've watched many video essays about this movie, and it's nice how everyone kind of takes something different out of the movie. I narrowed my praise to the originality, insanity and audacity of the movie, and just how fucking entertaining, and fucking hilarious it is. I've barely touched on the themes and there's a fuckload of them. I've watched video essays and it's great that everyone kind of took something different out of the movie. There's so fucking much to unpack, and I'm happy to see many different interpretations of what the movie meant to people.</p><p>I've seen this movie 3 times and each viewing has felt a little different. But still, one thing that doesn't change is just how wildly entertaining it is, and the family drama has never failed to hit me hard. Michelle Yeoh is great, but I think Stephanie Hsu is the actress who truly seals the deal here. This won't only be on my best movies of the decade list, but it's on my greatest of all time list too.</p><p><b>Other awards:</b></p><p><b>Best Horror</b>: Barbarian <br />Runner up: Deadstream<br /><br /><b>Best Villain: </b>The bounty hunter wolf from <i>Puss in Boots: The Last Wish</i><br /><br /><b>Best Voice actor: </b>Kevin McCann - Moral Conscience Cricket<b> - </b><i>Puss in Boots: The Last Wish</i></p><p><b>Best opening Credits</b>: After Yang </p><p><b>Trippiest movie</b>: Strawberry Mansion<br />Runner up: Fire of Love</p><p><b>Best bromance</b>: Stutz</p><p><b>Best Chemistry</b>: Adelaide Clemens and Patrick J Adams - The Swearing Jar</p><p><b>Best Score</b>: Babylon <br />No runner ups, no other score came close to this one</p><p><b>Best family movie</b> <b>(literally)</b>: Hellbender (Directed and written by a team of a husband, wife and daughter, and starring the wife and daughter, while the husband and older daughter play smaller roles in the movie)</p><p><b>Funniest performance</b>: Joseph Winter in Deadstream<br />Runner up: Justin Long in Barbarian<br /><br /><b>Best animated movie: </b>Puss in Boots: The Last Wish</p><p><b>Best villian: </b>The bounty hunter wolf in <i>Puss in Boots: The Last Wish</i></p><p><b>Best Screenplay</b>: Everything Everywhere All At Once<br />No runner ups. This is a landslide win. I can't even fathom what the script of this movie looks like. </p><p><b>Best Original Songs</b> - The Swearing Jar (I want mp3s of all the songs)</p><p><b>Best Dramatic Performance</b>: Everyone is high on Michelle Yeoh in Everything Everywhere, but I'm going with Stephanie Hsu. I was very surprised by her performance. </p>The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-2957472625853003232022-01-12T14:01:00.004-08:002022-01-15T11:13:04.970-08:00Top 10 best movies of 2021<p>When it comes to raw, hard hitting, devastating dramas, 2021 may have been the best year for movies in a long long time. My top 3 are all dramas, easily earning a 5 star rating from me. There've been previous years I hadn't seen a single 5 star movie, therefore I can't complain when this year gives me three. My top three movies may not be easy to sit through, but I really think that by the end...after all the tears are shed, you'll be glad you sat through it. They all tell beautiful stories about fighting through the worst pain that life could possibly throw at you, and the friendships and human connections that keep us going. </p><p>On the other hand, 2021 was not the greatest year when it comes to blockbusters and escapist entertainment in general. I made many trips to the theatre and found myself in those cool Dbox seats for a lot of them...sadly, none of those movies made my list. Enough of my pointless talk, let's get to the list.</p><p><b>Honorable mentions:</b> </p><p>In the Same Breath, Titane, The Harder They Fall, Raya and the Last Dragon, One Night in Miami, Eternals, Sleepless, Dune, The Last Duel</p><p><br />10. <b>Zola</b> ****</p><p><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It truly is a strange time we're living in when the source material for one of the best movies of the year is not a book, but a stripper's twitter thread. How much is true vs. how much she may have fabricated, I don't know, but it's one of the most intense movies of last year, and what feels like the most authentic movie about the world of sex work. This is the first feature film directed by Janicza Bravo; it's such a stylishly shot and edited movie, and who knows how good she'll get moving forward? If a small part of me felt let down by the ending, it's maybe just because I could have spent 3 hours with these characters.</span></p><p><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Trailer:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24KbaKlCDDI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24KbaKlCDDI
</a></span></p><p>9 TIE: <b>In the Earth</b> **** and <b>Prisoners of the Ghostland</b> ****</p><p><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can almost give the same review to both movies as they are both easily the most, "what the fuck did I just watch?" (but not in a bad way at all) movies, but also the trippiest, batshit crazy, visually stunning fever dreams. In both cases, I won't pretend that I understood everything or deciphered all the symbolism and metaphors, but I had so much fun going along with the ride. Both movies are fucking hilarious and boy do both movies get some great sick comedy out of how much our protagonists suffer. Nic Cage's performance stands out the most of the two movies as he gives the exact over the top batshit crazy Nic Cage performance we all love from him, but the entire cast of In the Earth are also fantastic. These two would be a great double bill after you've blazed some really good shit.</span></p><p>Trailers:<br /><br />In the Earth:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1EeY5lvIcg">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1EeY5lvIcg</a></p><p>Prisoners of the Ghostland:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeIfnDc0jvA">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeIfnDc0jvA<br /></a><br /></p><p>7. <b>Night Books </b>****</p><p>Just a quick note...the opening 10 minutes of this movie are fucking awful. Stick with it. It gets a whole lot better after. Alright...</p><p>Perhaps my love of this movie is a bit of a bias due to being a writer, but a horror movie about writer's block? Fucking love it! <span style="color: #050505;"><span style="font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">In my case, laziness is easily winning the battle over my writer's block...it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if a witch kidnapped me and said that I better get the fuck back to writing, or she'll kill me. Kristin Ritter is maybe my favorite villain of the year. Hilarious when she shits all over the writing of the protagonist; on the other hand, ominous as fuck when you piss her off. </span></span></p><p>I saw a few critics compare this to Coraline and I agree. It's a kids horror movie, but I can see it being too intense for kids. I found this more suspenseful than most R rated horror movies this year. Especially those fucking spiders. Jesus. </p><p>Most of all, I think the movie delivers a wonderful message to kids. The horror in this movie isn't just about writer's block, it's...imagine people throw away their true passions in life and who they truly are just for the sake of fitting in and being popular? Imagine the horror of that. </p><p>I think it's a great message for kids...if they're not shitting their pants. </p><p>Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQO16k5Vdow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQO16k5Vdow</a></p><p>6. <b>I Care A lot</b> ****</p><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Has there been any actress in the history of film who's better at playing a stone cold sociopath than Rosamund Pike? The fact that she makes it look so easy and can seemingly play this role in her sleep makes me think...maybe there's a tad bit of sociopathy in her? Who knows? </div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Although this movie has no likable protagonist and it was immoral sociopath vs. immoral sociopath, and hell, some people may be cheering for the Russian gangster over her. </div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thought this movie was a lot of fun and so much more entertaining than your average big budget blockbuster! Sometimes it's more fun to have a morally deplorable protagonist. It makes for a great dark comedy. Most people will say Gone Girl is Rosamund Pike's best work, but I think she's better here. </div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Trailer:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fu6LX4Ieasg">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fu6LX4Ieasg
</a></div><p>5. <b>The Climb</b> ****1/2</p><p>What a unique comedy this is. <span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">It's kind of like an arthouse version of Step Brothers (sometimes as silly, but much funnier), with the filmmaking aesthetic of Children of Men or 1917, with the script formula of Boyhood. The opening scene of the movie may be one of the most impressive one takes I've ever seen.</span></p><p>It's a rare laugh your ass off while marveling at the absolutely stunning one takes of the movie (every scene is a one take). If there's something that maybe hindered this movie's chance of making it higher in my list, it did kind of lack an emotional connection to the main characters. </p><p>Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4MKhV5QVw">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4MKhV5QVw</a></p><p>4. <b>Riders of Justice</b> ****1/2</p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">After Denmark had won an Oscar for ANOTHER ROUND, they just may win another one with this movie. Simply put, it's the best revenge movie ever made. </div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The trailer makes it look like a standard revenge action movie, but it's far smarter and far more ambitious than any every other movie in this subgenre. While it has its super violent action scenes, it's also a drama about grief, a buddy comedy with a fucked up sense of humor, a philosophical dive into randomness, coincidence, the butterfly effect, and of course the act of revenge itself. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The friendships in the movie are beautiful and everyone is so flawed and scarred. The screenplay is so hard to predict and and oh the irony. Revenge action movies are fun, but this is the kind of movie that the genre has needed for a long time. This is like TAKEN with a PHD. </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Trailer:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l09T87hEstI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l09T87hEstI
</a></div></div><p>3. <b>Mass</b> *****</p><p>Talk about a drama that will stay with you well after its runtime. Just to set up the premise, here's a one location movie that very well could have been a stage play. It's a meeting of four people; the parents of a kid who was tragically killed in a school shooting meet with the parents of the school shooter. </p><p>I love the awkward beginning; the church workers trying to figure out a good place to put the table and tissue box. "Do have enough food for them?" "Trust me, they're not going to touch the food." . Hell, even the small talk between the parents is awkward as fuck as the audience knows that once all that shit is out of the way, it's going to get intense as fuck, and it truly does. </p><p>It's truly captivating once it gets going and it never lets go. I found myself hanging on every word, and felt the complex mix of emotions from both parents, experiencing a different kind of pain, and resentment. It's raw, uncompromising, poignant, but by the end, cathartic. The solution to it all is kind of beautiful, and as tough as it may be sit through, I almost felt a sense of relief that they all felt at the end.</p><p>Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU56Ns1nXsE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU56Ns1nXsE </a></p><p>2. <b>Language Lessons</b> *****</p><p>This is definitely 2021's biggest tear jerker. I did not expect the movie to hit me as early as it did, and once it does, it doesn't let go. I had to pause this movie on multiple occasions, take a short break then get back to it. With that said though, I think it's such a fitting movie for the pandemic. The world has done an awful lot of grieving over this fucked up time we live in, but what's the best way to get through grief? Friendships and human connection, and that's what this movie is all about.</p><p>I wasn't all that excited to get into a movie that's about a long distance friendship that's almost entirely video chats, but they are so creative with how they pull it off. I hope I don't make this sound like it's a misery porn movie. There's a lot of good comedy, and the chemistry is so good between these two unlikely friends who maybe never would have become friends if the tragedy had never hit. I think it's ultimately how you feel at the end, and I think I watched one of the most beautiful friendships in the history of cinema unfold. </p><p>Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWga6ES5znU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWga6ES5znU</a><br /><br /></p><p>1. <b>Our Friend</b> *****</p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Just like the #2 movie, here's another beautiful movie about friendship and human connection to get through the worst shit that life can throw your away. <span style="font-family: inherit;">When I saw this in February, I kind of knew it would be my #1 pick at the end of the year. I later on went to read the Esquire article that the movie was based on and pleasantly surprised to see how little bullshit the movie made up. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">This is the best drama ever made about cancer. While it depicts the details we've seen a lot, such as a mother/wife coming to terms with her death, trying to find a delicate way to break the news to her kids, the suffering and dissolution of her being, the husband/father who's in over his head, trying his best to be a good husband and dad, but silently drowning in his sorrows...we've seen this before. Ultimately the story is about Dane, the friend who really had no obligation to do what he did. He initially offered to stay for a few weeks to help the family out; the few weeks lasted until the bitter end. If he hadn't stuck around, who knows how much worse things would have been for that family?</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">There was no casting choice that possibly could have been better than Jason Segel to play Dane. It almost feels like the role was written for him, taking into account his sense of humor, charm and likability. I think it's easily the best performance of the year. Casey Affleck and Dakota Johnson are also great (it almost feels like Affleck can play this kind of dramatic role in his sleep), but this movie belongs to Segel. <span style="font-family: inherit;">Despite all the tears you're likely to shed, it's still very entertaining and funny throughout. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm tired of this outdated way of evaluating people's worth in society, which is looking solely at people's jobs and how much money they make. In this aspect, Dane can be seen as a loser. He seems to have no direction and works a shitty retail job. On the other hand, when his friends need his help, he is the most selfless person imaginable. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I wish this movie can be shown to everyone, because this is what truly makes a great person. If there were more Danes out there, the world would be a much better place. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">To take a direct quote from the real life Matt Teague's article:</span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">"It was a routine death in every sense. It was ordinary. Common. The only remarkable element was Dane. I had married into this situation, but how had he gotten here? Love is not a big-enough word. He stood and faced the reality of death for my sake. He is my friend."</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">Trailer:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvOX0J1Nwrw&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvOX0J1Nwrw&t
</a></div></div><div class="cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql o9v6fnle ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Some other awards:</b></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Best documentary: </b><i>In the Same Breath</i></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Best action scene: </b>The bus scene in <i>Shang-Chi</i> </div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Best performance</b>: Jason Segel (<i>Our Friend</i>)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Best Chemistry</b>: Mark Duplass and Natalie Morales (<i>Language Lessons</i>)</div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Best Villain</b>: <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Kristin Ritter as The Witch (<i>Nightbooks</i>)</span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><b>Best visual effects</b>: <i>Eternals</i></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><b>Best cinematography</b>: <i>Prisoners of the Ghostland</i></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><b>Trippiest movie</b>: Tie: <i>Prisoners of the Ghostland</i> and <i>In the Earth</i></div><div dir="auto"><br /></div><div dir="auto"><b>Best ending</b>: <i>Language Lessons</i></div></div>The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-32516286980833900762021-01-10T22:00:00.017-08:002021-01-11T17:24:12.449-08:00The Top 10 best movies of 2020 <p>2020 may have been a shitty year in a myriad number of ways, but when it comes to movies...it was pretty damn good. I've got two 5 star movies in this year's top 10, and there were so many surprising obscure discoveries this year. There's a chance you haven't heard of a lot of movies on my list and that's a good thing. I hope you discover some new shit. </p><p><b style="font-family: georgia;"><u>Best Short film of 2020: </u></b></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>2020 (a parody of 1917)</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skgcruZichc">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skgcruZichc</a></b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Definitely the best covid movie there is. It's a bit of a parody of 1917, using the single long take style, but the mission...get toilet paper. Everything that was batshit crazy about 2020 all captured in this comedy adventure in a slim 18 minute runtime, while managing to brilliantly reference 1917. Just like 1917, it's extremely well shot on a tiny budget (though too bad they couldn't do the camera in the water shot, but I imagine they didn't have the budget for that).
</span></span></span></p><p>This movie should be the calling card of these filmmakers. If they can make THIS with a tiny budget, imagine what they can do with a hundred thousand dollars. A million. I'll be looking out for these guys. For now, they made the best short film I saw in 2020. </p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>AND NOW...The top 10 best movies of 2020 Extravaganza list! </u></b></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span><b>Honorable mentions: </b></span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Banana Split, </span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>#Alive, Soul, </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Freaks,</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"> </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Birds of Prey: The Emancipation of One Harley Quinn, The Social Dilemma, Let Them All Talk, Relic, South Park's Pandemic Special<br /><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Thought I'd use the word extravaganza, a nod to the writers group I'm in, we call: The Fuck Robert Mckee Writer's group Extravaganza. Though on a resume, I go with our alternate name: Do the Write Thing. <br /><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>10. Big Time Adolescence ****</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>I went into this movie with zero familiarity with Pete Davidson and was pleasantly surprised to say...when it comes to crass, raunchy comedy, played way over the top, Pete Davidson has fucking nailed it. I'd be happy to see him play this character in every movie he's in, the way that Danny McBride kinda plays the same character in everything, but fuck it, he's great at it. <br /><br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">And for those of you that have seen KING OF STATEN ISLAND and not Big Time Adolescence, get this movie immediately. I was so excited for a Judd Apatow - Pete Davidson collaboration, and his comedy just felt...neutered in comparison to Big Time Adolescence. <br /><br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-family: georgia;">Trailer:<br /></span></b><b style="font-family: georgia;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3PcDo4YcnY&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3PcDo4YcnY&t</a></b></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span><b>9. Kajillionaire</b> <b>****</b><br /><br /><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I agree with the person who said that KAJILLIONAIRE is like America's answer to PARASITE and SHOPLIFTERS. Though if I had to pick a favorite of those 3, my pick goes to Kajillionaire. It's Miranda July, so it's definitely odd, awkward as fuck, has a quirky sense of humor that doesn't always work and has some very uncomfortable moments. At times I was on board, and at times, I wasn't sure, but it was always interesting. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">But...I thought back to Robert Mckee's secret advice he gave Charlie Kaufman in ADAPTATION, "</span></span><span style="color: #202124; font-family: georgia;">I'll tell you a secret. The last act makes a film. Wow </span><span style="color: #202124; font-family: georgia;">them in the end</span><span style="color: #202124; font-family: georgia;">, and you got a hit. You can have flaws, problems, but wow </span><span style="color: #202124; font-family: georgia;">them in the end</span><span style="color: #202124; font-family: georgia;">, and you've got a hit."<br /><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">That's the ending of Kajillionaire. When people ask what are the best feel good endings of all time, Kajillionaire just might be in that conversation, and the movie builds up to its ending so well. Kajillionaire lingered in my mind for a long time after I watched it</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">, and the more I think about the movie, the more things I appreciate. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-19tBHrZwOM&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-19tBHrZwOM&t</a></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">8. <b>Palm Springs</b> <b>****</b></span></p><p>It's another movie that follows the groundhog day formula, and you know what? It's one of the best attempts at it (Edge of Tomorrow still reigns supreme). It's a romcom mish mashed with a science fiction, with a few very creative tweaks, making it a bit of a jigsaw puzzle to solve. If someone was like, "You wanna watch that Andy Samberg movie?", I'll probably react with a, "Uhh...what else do you have?" But he is shockingly good and so charismatic. Then you have Cristin Milioti, who I've never heard of, but I'll definitely seek out more of her stuff after this. Their chemistry is electric as fuck. <br /><br /></p><p>Romcoms often get a bad rap, but there's so much untapped potential if writers can just think outside the box, mix it with other genres, and find unique ways to have a love spawn out of a crazy necessity and yeah...two strangers who find each other due to being stuck in a time loop is pretty damn creative, and it's easily the best romcom of the year.</p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">Trailer:<br /></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpBLtXduh_k" style="font-family: georgia;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpBLtXduh_k</a></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;">7. </span><b style="font-family: georgia;">Love and Monsters</b><span style="font-family: georgia;"> <b>****</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span><span face="Segoe UI Historic, Segoe UI, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">This movie gets my FUCK COVID FOR DEPRIVING US OF SEEING THIS MOVIE IN IMAX award. Come on Cinesphere! Once we're all vax'd by Moderna or those Viagra guys, bring this movie to the Cinesphere! </span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">What a fun concept for a post-</span><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">apocalyptical</span><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"> movie and when it comes to giant creature features, this is really fucking creative; a strange radiation that causes animals of all kinds to grow to gigantic sizes. The attack of the giant frog is one of the most fun set pieces of the year.
</span></span></p><p>And the characters...they're really fucking good and same with the relationships between them. There's just something so likable about every friendship that happens out of necessity; survivors that happened to find each other, after all their loved ones were killed. This movie even has a scene where in the midst of all the madness, our protagonist goes into an empty house and encounters a super high tech robot, who's owners are long gone. The AI is happy to encounter a human being. Then they bond and have such a deep connection with each other and it is such a beautiful moment and I appreciate blockbusters that have scenes such as this one. It puts just as much focus on the humanity as it does the cool CGI.<br /><br /></p><p>It's my pick for the blockbuster of 2020. Try to watch it on a big screen. My friend watched it on her phone. I gave her shit for that. What the fuck?! </p><p>Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-19tBHrZwOM&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-19tBHrZwOM&t</a></p><p><b style="font-family: georgia;">6. Marona's Fantastic Tale ****1/2</b></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>I know that many people will pick SOUL as the best animated movie of 2020, but my pick goes to the very abstractly animated, existential dog movie from France. They're not trying to entertain kids; made obvious by starting the movie with a dog getting hit by a car and coming to the realization that he's going to die. His life then flashes before his eyes </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;">and we get to see his life story. They tell a grounded, realistic life story about an average dog, his birth and separation from his family, the joy and pain that he faced in life, his existential views on life, happiness, his relationships with humans, and his musings about humanity. Name another dog movie that goes this deep into a dog's psyche. <br /><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">"For a dog, happiness is different than it is for humans. We want things to stay exactly the same, where humans always want something new. You have a comfy bed, but humans always want what they don't have. They call it dreaming. I call it not knowing how to be happy." Quite profound.
</span></p><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>To top it all off, the animations in this movie are so abstract and always beautiful to look at. In other words, it's the trippiest movie of the year and the best damn dog movie ever made. I think it'll stay that way for the rest of time.
Trailer:
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DweZRx-h588&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DweZRx-h588&t</a></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;">5. <b>My Octopus Teacher ****1/2</b></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div dir="auto"><span><span style="font-family: georgia;">What a great accidental discovery. I turn on Netflix, not being sure what to watch. </span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;">The movie that they had advertised on the main screen was </span><i style="font-family: georgia;">The Octopus Teacher</i><span style="font-family: georgia;">. Without hesitating, I hit play, knowing nothing about the movie. So, I love getting stoned and watching nature documentaries. <i>The Octopus Teacher</i> is the most unique one I've ever seen.
</span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;">For starters, the octopus is the trippiest, most alien like animal on the planet. It starts off like a pretty standard nature documentary. </span><span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Besides my going, "Wooaaah" at the crazy ass shape shifting, color changing, adaptive abilities of the octopus, it also has some of the most intense chase scenes of the year, where the octopus is the prey, fleeing, shape shifting and constantly outsmarting a hungry shark.
</span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto">But, the heart of the story is the friendship that forms between the octopus and the documentary filmmaker. It's the most unusual friendship I've seen in a movie and it sounds silly, but god damn, this movie really tugged at my heart strings. </div><div dir="auto"><span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Trailer:
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s0LTDhqe5A&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s0LTDhqe5A&t</a>
</span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>4. </span><b>Come to Daddy ****1/2
</b></span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>
</b>Why didn't I see this movie at the Toronto After Dark Film Fest? And why wasn't this the closing movie of the festival? This would have been so much fun in a huge crowd, but don't get me wrong...still an awesome movie to watch at home.
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">
I say, if you're going to make a horror/comedy, go all the way with it. The more fucked up it is, the darker its sense of humor, the better. This movie goes all the fucking way, with maybe the most absurdly sick sense of humor of any horror movie.
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">
"Who was that man?"
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">"His name is Jethro. He's my best friend."
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">"Then why's he stabbing you with poo pens and chaining you up in the basement?"
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">
That line will make sense if you've seen it.
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">
Another thing I want to get at...Elijah Wood is the most perfect actor for this role, as a protagonist who's found himself in this really strangely horrific situation and has to learn how to go from being a timid boy to a killer. </span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span><br /></span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>Here's why Elijah Wood is perfect. You see, he played Frodo in the LOTR trilogy, who's arguably the most useless, absolute pussy of a protagonist maybe in the history of cinema (Sam is the real fucking hero, carrying Frodo's deadweight everywhere), and he never fucking redeems himself ever in the movie. So it's fitting to see Elijah Wood in this movie, where he starts off as a bit of a Frodo, but when that moment where he turns...that may be the best character arc. I think I both laughed and screamed in pain. </span><span>
Trailer:
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PITkX6Ymqo&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PITkX6Ymqo&t</a>
<span>
</span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span><span>3. </span></span><b>Why Don't you just Die ****1/2
</b></span></div></div><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word;"><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span><span style="font-family: georgia;">This has been described as a Russian Tarantino which I suppose is quite accurate</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">, except I think it's easily better than any Tarantino movie of the past decade. I can't say I was super excited to watch this, but then I hit play and it opened </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">with quite possibly the best fight scene in the history of cinema. In fact, the fight scene is now on youtube; maybe this will sell you on the movie:</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4WiCaC_2Rs&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4WiCaC_2Rs&t</a></span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">
It's darkly funny at times, and a good story that unveils like a puzzle, piecing together everything that happened. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;"> Like Tarantino movies, this one jumps back and forth in time and gives every character their own backstory leading into the big climax. It makes no attempts at being overly convoluted which I appreciate. It's simple to follow the chronology of events that lead up to the big climax and there are some very interesting reveals along the way.</span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>
I was so absorbed in the movie that I almost didn't notice that 95% of the movie is all in one location. Just a friendly reminder that you often don't need a massive budget to make something great. Sometimes you just need creativity, outside the box thinking and fresh blood behind the camera. <i>Why Don't you Just Die</i> just may be the most aesthetically pleasing movie of the year, with such a unique, vibrant, energetic style of directing (I know it'll never happen, but if it were up to me, this would win the oscar for best cinematography). I think this movie may be more sadistically violent than what we've seen from Tarantino. </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span>
Trailer:</span><span>
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4u4cqCNDw0">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4u4cqCNDw0</a><span>
</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>2. Spontaneous *****</b></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></b></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">2020 what a fucking year. SPONTANEOUS, a movie about a curse/virus in a highschool that randomly causes people's bodies to explode (or pop like a zit as the main character describes), is absolutely the perfect metaphor for the pandemic. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">I should preface this by saying that Spontaneous was shot before Covid, but it's hard not to think of Covid while watching this. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">
<br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">If I was given a premise like this, I would have written a very campy, gory, horror comedy catered to a midnight madness audience. Kudos to the filmmakers for thinking way more outside the box. Spontaneous really pulls off quite the balancing act of genres and tone. It's a bloody horror, a dark comedy, a romance with phenomenal chemistry between Katherine Langford and Charlie Plummer, and shockingly it manages to be the most tear jerking drama and coming of age story. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">To steal a quote from Addison Wylie's facebook, "</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 15px;">it sports a really considerate alleGORY (eh?) about how teenagers try to comprehend sudden confusion and fear around inexplicable devastations and tragedies. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 15px;">
<br /></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span face="Segoe UI Historic, Segoe UI, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-family: georgia;">alleGORY. Sometimes the most obvious puns are the ones that escape us. It really is an accomplishment that Spontaneous just combines so many genres and yet the movie never suffers from tone whiplash. I can't think of a single drama this year that emotionally gutted me like Spontaneous...and it's a movie about exploding bodies. If I could pick only one movie to represent the year that was 2020, Spontaneous is it. </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span face="Segoe UI Historic, Segoe UI, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span face="Segoe UI Historic, Segoe UI, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="font-family: georgia;">Trailer:</span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span face="Segoe UI Historic, Segoe UI, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dt523AHZWY">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dt523AHZWY</a></span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /></span></b></div><div dir="auto" style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>1. The Wave *****
</b></span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>
</b>When I saw this movie in January, there was no doubt in my mind it would be #1, and here we are today. I have seen </span><i style="font-family: georgia;">The Wave</i><span style="font-family: georgia;"> 3 times this year, and I get a slightly different experience each time. So yeah, I picked a really trippy movie as my #1, and I suppose it seems typical of me, since I gave my #1 spot to </span><i style="font-family: georgia;">Into the Spider-verse</i><span style="font-family: georgia;"> in 2018 and </span><i style="font-family: georgia;">Doctor Strange</i><span style="font-family: georgia;"> in 2016. Well shit. Now I see a 2 year pattern of trippy movies topping my list. Well in that case, I better save some shrooms for whatever is my #1 pick for 2022. Moving on, look I didn't just pick it for being trippy as fuck. This is probably the funniest movie of the year, and it's not your typical drug humor.
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">
For the most part, saying that "tripping is fun" is an understatement. Probably 95% of my trips have been splendid, marvelously good times. But every once in a while you get that one bad trip, perhaps from the edible that had way too much weed and a bad trip is truly one of life's shittiest experiences. #firstworldproblems. Ask me to re-live my worst hangover vs. worst trip, I'll take my hangover any day. So with that said, I don't think any movie made me feel a protagonist's pain like this one as he trips on some unknown fictional hallucigenic...to which, great, they can be creative, make up their own hallucinations and their own rules, and maybe even throw time travel manipulation in there too.
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">
Yeah, our protagonist is a soulless prick for getting rich via finding loopholes to deny people their life insurance coverage, but that's part of the journey. He goes through a spiritual journey, like Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol...on a shitload of LSD laced with salvia, because why the fuck not?
</span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia;"><span>
It's a beautiful movie to look at. And as a thriller, it's such a visceral experience. As I mentioned, the movie is so good at making you feel everything the protagonist is feeling, and a huge reason for that is Justin Long's performance. I always thought he was a totally mediocre actor, until I saw this. This is the best performance ever in a drug comedy. </span></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia;">Donald Faison...I kept saying to myself, "Is that the guy from Clueless? Where the fuck has he been?" He is fucking great too!
</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">
</span>The single best scene of the year...the big board room scene. Our protagonist is about to deliver a presentation to the board of directors, that'll make a shitload of money for his insurance firm (but screw over a grieving family), and this is the presentation that'll make or break his career. He thinks his trip is over, but holy fuck is he dead wrong. I was excited as the scene started, but nothing prepares you for the batshit insanity that ensues. It is one of the greatest scenes in the history of cinema...talk about tripping metaphors.
<span style="font-family: georgia;">The experience of sitting through this movie is so thrilling, energetic and had me at the edge of my seat more effectively than any thriller this year, with a small pinch of mind fuckery. We've seen many drug movies and stoner comedies, but none of them are like the </span><i style="font-family: georgia;">The Wave</i><span style="font-family: georgia;">. Fuck <i>Tenet</i>. The Wave is the mind bender of the year, and feels like it's 2 hours shorter than Tenet.</span></div></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">Trailer:</span><span style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsi2-3lgcds&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsi2-3lgcds&t</a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><b><span style="font-family: georgia;">OTHER NOTABLE AWARDS:</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Trippiest movie: </b>Marona's Fantastic Tale <br />(honorable mentions: The Wave, Soul)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Best cinematography: </b>Why Don't You Just Die!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Best scene: </b>The boardroom scene in The Wave</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Best Ending</b>: Kajillionaire<br /><span style="font-family: georgia;"><br />Honorable mention: <br /></span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Relic (truly the most haunting, fucked up ending images I can ever remember to a horror movie, but kind of beautiful when you think about it)</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Best Villain</b>: Jethro in Come to Daddy (gotta give it to the poo pen stabber)</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><b style="font-family: georgia;">Best Performance: </b><span style="font-family: georgia;">I'll give this one a tie. Justin Long in The Wave, and Katherine Langford in Spontaneous</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Best Documentary</b>: My Octopus Teacher</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Best Nothing happens, but still a captivating movie: </b>Let Them All Talk</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><b>Best Foreign language film: </b>Marona's Fantastic Tale</span></p>The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-33282332313551666702020-08-30T11:44:00.017-07:002020-08-30T11:50:24.218-07:00Top 10 best movies of the first 2/3s of 2020<p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"> <span>This is definitely the strangest year to be doing this list. Despite the lack of movie theatres, I think 2020 still has delivered a strong list of movies; this year, there's definitely more obscure picks than usual, but by no means is that a complaint. And my pick for #1 just may be one of my favorite movies ever. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b style="background-color: white;">Honorable mentions: </b></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lake Michigan Monster, Guns
Akimbo, Have a Nice Trip</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b>10. The Half of It **** (Netflix)</b><br />While the trailer didn’t excite me all that much, from the first minute of the
movie, I was glued to the screen. It
works as a romance, a friendship movie, a coming of age story, and 3 characters
you just fall in love with by the end.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Trailer:<br /></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-yhF7IScUE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-yhF7IScUE</a><br /><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b>9. Birds of Preyand the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn</b> ****</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s
too bad this performed so poorly at the box office. While at times the movie’s humor was not
quite as clever as the writers would like to think, it’s a lot of fun and the
best action movie of 2020 so far. The
action scenes are very stylistically shot and the hand to hand combat is so well
choreographed. It’s a turn your brain
off and have fuckloads of fun movie.<br /><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>8. Banana Split ****</b><br />While I seriously doubt that I'm the target market for this, this movie was just too damn charming to resist. It's a female friendship movie disguised as a romcom, and it's just absolutely delightful from beginning to end. This is a case where I feel the actors transcended the humor written into the script. Having two sisters scream, "You suck my dick!" "No, you suck my dick!" repeatedly at each other at the dinner table isn't exactly the most high brow stuff, but the actors made the scene work. <br /><br />Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNS176v2bsI&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNS176v2bsI&t</a><br /><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><span face="" style="line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>7. Big Time Adolescence ****</b><br /><br />I went into this movie with zero familiarity with Pete Davidson and was pleasantly surprised to say that he was absolutely fucking hilarious and knocked this role out of the park. I think he brings something unique to the raunchy coming of age teen comedy. He goes a little over the top, but for him it works. </span>I can see him playing this type of character over and over the way Danny Mcbridge sort of plays the same character every time, but it never feels stale.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Shortly after this movie came Judd Apatow's <i>King of Staten Island</i>. Pete Davidson's performance in comparison was toned down and a subdued Davidson just doesn't work nearly as well. If you watched Staten Island your reaction was, "It was okay", watch Big Time Adolescence. It's fuckloads funnier and I'm disappointed to say that as a huge Apatow fan. <br /><br />Trailer:<br /></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3PcDo4YcnY&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3PcDo4YcnY&t</a><br /><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b>6. Freaks **** (on netflix)</b><br />It really is best to go into this movie knowing nothing. Unfortunately the trailer gives way too much away and part of the fun of watching this movie is trying to decipher exactly what kind of movie it is, what genre, what kind of fucked up dystopian setting does the protagonist find herself in and which characters can the protagonist trust? <br /><br />It's a jigsaw puzzle of a movie. I had absolutely no clue where the movie was headed, and I loved the way the movie slowly unraveled all the missing information - piece by piece. It started off a bit slow, but by the end, boy did this movie grab me the balls and not let go until the credits rolled.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">Trailer:<br />Nah, the trailer gives too much away. Just watch the movie.<br /><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b style="background-color: white;">5. Palm Springs ****</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">We've seen The Groundhog Day premise done a fair amount, but Palm Springs has a fresh spin on it and I think it's one of the best attempts at the formula (only movie I'd rate higher in this is Edge of Tomorrow). Calling it just a romcom would be selling it short, as it's also a bit of a mystery and science fiction with some very interesting twists</span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="font-size: medium;">...but it is easily the best romcom of 2020. Find me a movie couple in recent memory that has chemistry more electric than Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">Trailer:</span><br /></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpBLtXduh_k">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpBLtXduh_k</a><br /><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b>4. Marona's Fantastic Tale ****<br /></b><span style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span>
</span>We've seen so many mediocre dog movies from Hollywood that all follow the same formula. Leave it to France to make an abstractly animated existential dog movie; an attempt to realistically depict a dog's thoughts about life, death, their relationships with humans </span></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; white-space: pre-wrap;">and the things about us that make them scratch their heads. </span></span></p><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">"For dog, happiness is different than it is for humans. We want things to stay exactly the same, where humans always want something new. You have a comfy bed, but humans always want what they don't have. They call it dreaming. I call it not knowing how to be happy." Quite profound.
To top it all off, the animations of this movie are trippy as fuck! I'd call it the trippiest movie of 2020 if it wasn't for my #1 pick.
Trailer:
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DweZRx-h588&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DweZRx-h588&t</a>
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</span></span></div></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b>3. Come to Daddy ****1/2</b><br /><span style="color: #050505; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Why didn't I see this movie at the Toronto After Dark Film Fest? And why wasn't this the closing movie of the festival? This would have been so much fun in a huge crowd, but don't get me wrong...still an awesome movie to watch at home.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don't expect to see a better horror movie in 2020, though it's ultimately the movie's comedy that seals the deal for me. I've seen a lot of funny horrors, but none with a sense of humor as utterly absurd as this one (and very much on purpose). </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">"Who was that man?"
</span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">"His name is Jetrho. He's my best friend."
</span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; white-space: pre-wrap;">"Then why's he stabbing you with poo pens and chaining you up in the basement?"</span></span></p><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">If you've seen the movie, you'll know what I'm getting at. Elijah Wood is fantastic. For those of you that got frustrated with Lord of the Rings and how much of a whiney, useless pussy Frodo was from beginning to end, this movie absolutely makes up for it. Elijah Wood starts off as a pussy, but his character arc is beautifully done and when that key moment happens when he has to adapt and turn ruthless or die, that moment legit had me screaming and laughing in pain. After this fucking pandemic is over, I hope I get another chance to see this in a big crowd.
Trailer:
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PITkX6Ymqo&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PITkX6Ymqo&t</a>
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</span></span></div></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><b>2. Why Don't you just Die ****1/2</b><br /></span></p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="color: #050505; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: georgia;">This has been described as a Russian Tarantino which I suppose is quite accurate</span><span style="font-family: georgia;">, except I think it's easily better than any Tarantino movie of the past decade. I can't say I was super excited to watch this, but then I hit play and it opened </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">with quite possibly the best fight scene in the history of cinema. I was hooked. </span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">It has such a unique, vibrant, energetic style of directing (it deserves a fucking oscar for cinematography), and it may be more sadistically violent than what we've seen from Tarantino. It's darkly funny at times, and a good story that unveils like a puzzle, piecing together everything that happened. Like Tarantino movies, this one jumps back and forth in time and gives every character their own backstory leading into the big climax. It's simple and effective and the movie does not try to be over convoluted with it. It works. </span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">I was so absorbed that I almost didn't notice that 95% of the movie is all in one location. Yet another example of how low budgets often lead to the best creativity.
Trailer:</span><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4u4cqCNDw0">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4u4cqCNDw0</a><span style="font-family: georgia; font-size: large;">
</span></span></div><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;">1. The Wave *****</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: white; white-space: pre-wrap;">When the year is over, I'll say with 99.9% certainty that no movie will top this. I may have even placed this in my top 3 in my best movies of the past decade list had it come out in 2019. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">It's easily the best drug trip movie ever made. </span></span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; white-space: pre-wrap;">The trip is so artfully done, trippy as fuck, absolutely fucking hilarious with the comedy coming out so naturally from the clusterfuck of a mess the protagonist finds himself in, and even basks in those little moments of social awkwardness of life. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; white-space: pre-wrap;">I've never thought much of Justin Long as an actor, but holy fuck does he knock this role out of the park as a guy in over his head, over the worst drug trip imaginable. Another special mention goes to Donald Faison...I was like...is that the guy from CLUELESS? I've seen nothing of him, but he sure makes a great comeback as a best friend who's loyalty really is something. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; white-space: pre-wrap;">Besides being trippy as fuck and hilarious, it's a gripping, tense as fuck thriller. I'm still not sure I 100% comprehend the whole plot as they do introduce a bit of a twilight zone-ish element to it, but I'll be happy to watch it over and over again to fully get it all.
Trailer:</span><span style="color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: large; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsi2-3lgcds&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsi2-3lgcds&t</a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: georgia; font-size: large; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;"><o:p></o:p></p>The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-86492340071870334202020-04-06T15:07:00.000-07:002020-04-06T15:15:45.671-07:00Top 10 best movies of 2019yeah yeah, I'm super late. But, I've done this tradition for a long time, and I ain't about to break tradition. I figure, better late than never. Even if just a few people read this, if I can get even one pair of eyes on some of these movies, I think I'm good.<br />
<br />
Unlike my best of the decade list, I'm going to aim to keep these thoughts super short, maybe with the exception of #1. Here we go:<br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><b>Honorable mentions: </b><br />
Brightburn, 1917, Parasite, The Two Popes, Alita: Battle Angel, Knives Out, Toy Story 4, Missing Link, Spiderman: Far From Home<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<b><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 10.5pt;">10. Fighting with my Family ****</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Never thought I'd see the day a WWE film makes it on my list. Yeah I guess I'm biased being a huge wrestling fan, and yes its structure is cliched, but god damn it, I had a huge smile on my face from beginning to end, and with lots of laughs. U</span><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 10.5pt;">tterly delightful, Paige's family - holy fuck! I'd watch a reality show of them. And easily the funniest work from Vince Vaughan in ages. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 10.5pt;"><b>9. Paddleton (on Netflix) ****</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">This movie demands patience. It is very leisurely paced, but when the credits roll, this movie really sticks with you. It may be depressing as fuck as it's about coming to terms with death, but an absolutely beautiful male friendship at the centre of this, with quite a unique moral conundrum. I picture myself in the shoes of Ray Ramano's character...could I do that for a best friend? </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Trailer:</span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs9YpUktrWw">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs9YpUktrWw</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /><b>8. Polar ****</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit , serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Many people loved John wick 3, but I think Polar takes the cake for the best brutally violent action movie of the year. Fuck the rottentomatoes critics. This movie was so much fucking fun, great action scenes, </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 14px;"><span style="color: #1c1e21;">Mads Mikkelsen needs to be given more opportunities as an action star, and their meta joke referencing John Wick may be the funniest gag of any movie this year. Sequels please!! </span></span></div>
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7. Marriage Story ****</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">Noah Baumbach directed a divorce dark comedy gem in </span></span><i style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 10.5pt;">The Squid in the Whale </i><span style="color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">back in 2005, though if something stopped that movie from greatness, it's not a movie I connected with emotionally. Then he made a bunch of movies that never measured up to Squid and the Whale's sorta greatness; same flaw, couldn't connect emotionally, but often, couldn't give two fucks about the characters. Then there's </span></span><i style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 10.5pt;">Marriage Story, </i><span style="color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">I think it's his best movie, and finally a Baumbach movie where I could feel the characters' pain even if they live very </span></span><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit , serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">privileged</span></span><span style="color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> lives, and maybe even shed a few tears with them. It's Baumbach's most Hollywood movie, and in this case, that's a good thing. </span></span></div>
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6. The Irishman ****</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit , serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I think it's Scorsese's best movie since <i>Goodfellas</i>. Is the 3.5 hour runtime justified? Yeah, kinda. Maybe could have been a tad bit shorter, but I was never bored. In fact, I would argue that Irishman ramps up the tension and suspense to a higher degree than any other Scorsese movie I can think of. While I originally thought Irishman suffered from Return of the King-itis, another review put it in perspective. The long ending is actually a fitting end to all Scorsese gangster movies, and this should be Scorsese's sendoff to gangster movies for good. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><b>5. Dolemite Is My Name ****1/2</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">So many people live such different lives, yet 90% of Hollywood biopics feel the need to follow the same formula of alcoholism, depression, strained relationship with parents and drug addiction. Dolemite is such a breath of fresh air. It's the most delightful, feel good, inspirational movie of the year; I love an inspirational story about a struggling comedian who finds his voice and just wants to spread his brand of fucked up humour, and super violent, organ ripping kung fu fighting to the silver screen. Eddie Murphy gives such a high energy, hilarious performance reminding us of just how fucking good he is when he isn't taking shitty PG rated roles. And what a character! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I also think Da'Vine Joy Randolph deserved an Oscar nomination. While Eddie Murphy is the main star, she gets the single most touching moment of the movie. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Trailer:</span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws1YIKsuTjQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws1YIKsuTjQ</a></span><br />
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4. The Art of Self Defense ****1/2</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit , serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">A great martial arts dark comedy double bill would be The Foot Fist Way followed by The Art of Self Defense. I love how little the trailer gives away. This was a movie where when I started it, I had no clue fucking clue where the movie was going nor did I care to try to predict it. I just went along for the ride. While it's not as laugh out loud funny as Foot Fist Way, its plot and structure is sure as hell far more fucked up and unconventional than Foot Fist Way. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit , serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Self Defense has a pitch black</span></span><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px;"> dark sense of humour, and a great satire on toxic masculinity. Jesse Eisenberg was robbed of an Oscar nomination. I think this is his best work, that plays to his super awkward guy schtick better than any of his other roles, and his character transformation is fantastic. </span><br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Bms6Hba-3A">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Bms6Hba-3A</a><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: "inherit" , "serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><b>3. Shadow ****1/2</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit , serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Zhang Yimou is known for giving film nerds metaphorical orgasms with some of the most beautiful colour palettes in the history of cinema (ie: House of Flying Daggers, Hero). When Shadow hit TIFF, a movie of muted colours, almost black and white I'm like...what the fuck? Why are you muting your greatest strength, motherfucker?! With that said, Shadow still manages to be one of the most stunningly beautifully shot movies of last year, with its </span></span><span style="color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Chinese ink-brush painting style. Shadow is full of mystery, with a very intriguing plot, plenty of twists, and while it may take a while to get to the epic battle scenes, when they come...HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! No Hollywood action movie of last year even came close. Flying Daggers is still my favorite of Zhang Yimou, but I think I'll place this 2nd. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Trailer:</span></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGetemRDuVY">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGetemRDuVY</a><br />
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2. The Farewell ****1/2</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px;">...Based on a <strike>true story</strike> actual lie...that's refreshing.</span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px;">This movie almost takes an opposite approach of Joy Luck Club, a movie that most critics loved, but I think was a completely over-rated emotionally manipulative, schmaltzy as fuck melodrama that had the subtly and tact of a soap opera. The Farewell takes on a very depressing subject matter; a grandmother dying of cancer, but her family in China chooses not to tell her, and make up a fake reason to go to China and see her one more time before she dies. </span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px;">You can see where most average filmmakers will turn this into an overly emotional manipulative drama, but credit to the screenwriter and director for taking a surprisingly light hearted, comedic, and uplifting approach to such a grim subject matter, while also exploring culture clashes between the east and the west, and the justification for lying to a cancer patient. I loved spending time with these families, and all their funny little idiosyncrasies and dynamics. They understand that you don't need to force feed tears to the audience. We just need to spend time with these characters and the tears will come naturally. More dramas need to study The Farewell. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px;">Trailer:</span><br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RofpAjqwMa8">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RofpAjqwMa8</a><br />
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1. The Death of Dick Long *****</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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When it came to #1, it was really no contest. When I saw this movie, I knew it was going to get my #1 spot. This movie doesn't just win for the twist of the year, it's the twist of the fucking decade.<br />
This is a movie barely anyone has seen, but the #1 movie I'm dying to see people's reactions for. I almost wish there were hidden cams for audience reactions. Nothing will prepare you for a dark comedy like this one.</div>
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When you watch the trailer, it looks like a FARGO type movie. A mysterious death, with his friends trying to cover it up. I know this formula, and I thought I knew the kind of crime thriller I was in for, and I'm glad to say I was completely wrong. Dick Long is such a refreshingly original film. For one, I think it may have the best ensemble cast of unknown actors. Every single performance is so fucking good. Its depiction of small town life in Alabama where everyone knows each other feels authentic. I have so much respect for this movie because it's fucking hilarious, yet the movie never once feels like it's trying to be funny. All the comedy feels like completely natural reactions to the shitstorm the characters find themselves in, and the hilarious stupid ways they try to cover up their crimes. But hey, I can laugh at these characters, but if I found myself in a situation where I had to cover up a crime, would I be any smarter? I don't know.<br />
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Especially if you're tired of the same old shit and want something different, watch this. It's one I'm so eager to discuss and know how you reacted to it and know just how much your jaw dropped.<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGBe8xsWGlo">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGBe8xsWGlo</a><br />
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My secondary awards:<br />
<br />
<b>Trippiest movie & best use of 3-D:</b><br />
Spider-man: Far From Home<br />
<br />
<b>Best Ending:</b><br />
The Farewell<br />
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Honorable mention: Little Women.<br />
To credit Tom Bown for this observation, I love the way that Greta Gerwig pulls a Charlie Kaufman on the book's ending.<br />
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<b>Best Ensemble cast:</b><br />
The Death of Dick Long<br />
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<b>Best Twist:</b><br />
No brainer, Dick Long. I'm genuinely intrigued at how everyone will react to the twist.<br />
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<b>Best Horror:</b><br />
Brightburn<br />
<br />
<b>Best actor:</b><br />
Jesse Eisenberg in Art of Self Defense<br />
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<b>Best actress:</b><br />
I was originally gonna go with Awkwafina in Farewell, or Saoirse Ronan in Little Women, but... no.<br />
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Virginia Newcomb - Death of Dick Long.<br />
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How do you prepare for a role like that?!The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-62032812417192426572020-02-06T14:40:00.001-08:002020-02-06T14:40:12.632-08:00The best movies of the past decade (2010s) - Part 2 - The top 10Before we get to the top 10, I want to start with the best short film of the decade...<br />
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<b>Best short film: </b><br />
Inside No. 9 - The 12 Days of Christine (season 2, episode 2)<br />
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Technically this is a show and not a movie, but every episode of this show really can work as a self contained movie. This is a masterful drama, where you see a one day snapshot of 12 years of Christine's life, through all her triumphs, happy moments and optimism to her crushing disappointments, tragedies, and things in life that didn't pan out the way she hoped.<br />
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And that ending...fuck. Look, it may not be the most original twist, but here's my thing on twists. There's a difference between a twist that's all, "ha I tricked you!" vs. how it makes you feel. And no twist gutted me emotionally like this one. And while many twists don't quite stand up to scrutiny postmortem, this twist ending makes you think back to the episode, and absolutely everything holds up under scrutiny; in fact, it strengthens the entire episode.<br />
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Okay, now on to the top 10...<br />
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<b>10. Tangled</b><br />
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Never did I imagine that an animated movie based on the age old fairy tale of Rapunzel of all characters, would one day end up on my best movies of the decade list, but here we are. It came out the same year as Toy Story 3, and when I wrote my top 10 list, I had Toy Story 3 ranked higher. Since then, I've maybe re-visited Toy Story 3 one more time; Tangled I've re-visited a good 5, 6 more times. If I'm flipping through channels and Tangled is on, I gotta watch that shit till the end. It's simply one of the most entertaining, delightful, beautifully animated movies and I think it's criminally under-rated when it comes to its comedy writing. Even its musical numbers don't get enough appreciation, from the delightfully hilarious "I've Got a dream" to "I see the light" which may one of the most scenes ever.<br />
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Rapunzel is the most charming, lovable, hilariously neurotic protagonist of any Disney movie. The evil godmother is a wicked villain and hilarious in the way she passively aggressively puts Rapunzel down. You have to love lines like, "How'd you find me?" "Oh, I just listened for the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed it." Flynn is so full of witty one liners, and I absolutely bought into the romance between Rapunzel and Flynn.<br />
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When Flynn gets brought back to life, his first line of dialogue...that is inspired comedy writing that most Disney writers would never think up. Tangled is probably the #1 best case of a movie with mediocre source material that transcends it every way imaginable.<br />
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<b>9. Temple Grandin</b><br />
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90% of the time, biopics are just meh for me. Despite how different so many people's lives were, they all often tend to feel exactly the same and go through the same formulaic beats. Going into a biopic about a woman I had never heard of before...then reading a synopsis on how Temple was an autistic woman who revolutionized slaughterhouses to be more humane for animals...can't say that excited me much. But, HBO makes good movies, it got good reviews, so I gave it a chance.<br />
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As you can see, this is my #1 highest rated biopic of the decade. It's so refreshingly original compared to almost every mainstream biopic. No movie out there explains autism in a more informative, fascinating, visually interesting way than Temple Grandin, with a style of directing that puts you in the head of an autistic person, to see the world the way they see it. Hell, even slaughterhouse efficiency and the reason why cows moo was fucking interesting. The struggles that Temple went through, seeing both sides of how autism was both a massive hindrance, but also a gift was wonderful. What I also love is the focus on her mother, a woman who had very little knowledge of autism at a time that no one really got it, and the tough choices she had to make for her daughter.<br />
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Now we know a lot more about autism, and Temple and her mom really are to thank for the wealth of knowledge. The movie's happy ending may be among the best of the decade, and absolutely well earned.<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpkN0JdXRpM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpkN0JdXRpM</a><br />
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<b>8. The Voices</b><br />
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Marjane Satrapi directed Persepolis, an autobiographical story about herself - a rebellious girl growing up in the Islamic revolution in Iran in the 1970s and how a rebel like herself had to escape such an oppressive society ruled by fundamentalists. She then went on to direct <i>The Voices</i> which just might be the most fucked up, deranged, darkly hilarious serial killer movie ever made. Kudos to her for going from Persepolis to this. It's like..."Now that I got my life story out of the way, here's the batshit crazy ass stories I really want to tell!"<br />
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I'm not exaggerating when I say that The Voices makes the show Dexter look like a Disney show. Ryan Reynolds gives easily his best career best performance as a psychotic man who really is trying his best to live a normal life, but when he's off his meds, all bets are off. You have never seen a human - pets friendship like a psychopath off his meds with his cat who's the evil, scolding character and his dog who's the dumb and loyal optimist. Hell, even conversations with decapitated heads isn't off the table. The Voices is definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but for those of you who really love the darkest, most fucked up gallows humour, there is no other movie like The Voices. Leave it to a woman to make the craziest serial killer movie of all time. On another note: this film also has the best musical number of the decade; the fucking audacity of this movie!<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQpV9Q0A7E">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQpV9Q0A7E</a><br />
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<b>7. Short Term 12</b><br />
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Maybe the rawest, emotionally gut punching, but in a completely realistic, non-sentimental un-Hollywood drama. There's a lot of tears to be shed, and it all feels so real. While it's a work of fiction, it feels so authentic. Brie Larson gives the best performance of her career (she won an Oscar for Room, but I still think this one is better), and re-watching the trailer, I didn't realize that Rami Malek and Lakeith Stanfield were in this movie, but who knows if Short Term 12 was their launching pad?<br />
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I have no clue what it would be like living in a group home, but for this movie, you experience it all, and you feel everyone's pain. And then you learn about the past of the couple running the group home, and your heart aches for them too. But in all its rawness, Short Term 12 still manages to end on an uplifting note. They've been through a lot, but maybe life has a lot of promise for their future. Love, compassion and people in your life who truly give a fuck can go a long way.<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhS6tvSb0UQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhS6tvSb0UQ</a><br />
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<b>6. Leaves of Grass</b><br />
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Leaves of Grass accomplishes a lot. It manages to explore classical philosophy while poking fun at the pretentious of academia, a Coen Brothers-esque crime thriller with a wickedly dark sense of humour, but better than any Coen Brothers' crime thriller, and my pick for the best stoner comedy. Just thinking about the plot and the master plan that is pulled off and I have to applaud the audacity of the plan. Crime thrillers where characters fuck up their plan up badly has made for some comedy, but I challenge you to find a fuck up that's funnier than one pulled by Edward Norton and Tim Blake Nelson in Leaves of Grass. Right, I haven't even gotten to Edward Norton playing twins, and the best example of one actor playing two roles just behind Nicolas Cage in Adaptation. He completely disappears into the twin brothers: both the highly accomplished philosophy professor who lives a very structured life vs. the hedonistic hillbilly pot grower who runs "The Taj Mahal of hydroponics", but also creates a storm of chaos for himself and everyone around him.<br />
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A special mention to I think one of the most under-rated actors: Tim Blake Nelson. He loves playing dumb hillbillies and he's amazing at it and he even has such a redneck name...but the dude also wrote, directed and produced this movie. Here he plays yet another hillbilly, in a funny, but also thoughtful, nuanced performance. Despite all the violence he's involved in, you just can't help but love the guy by the end of the film.<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpgLWZn5XgQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpgLWZn5XgQ</a><br />
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<b>5. Doctor Strange</b><br />
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This movie has fallen a bit down the chart from before. I will admit to being very stoned when I saw Doctor Strange in Imax 3D and declared it one of my favorite movies of all time. A few re-watches later (still stoned), it's not quite as good as the first time, but...this movie still fucking rules!<br />
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I imagine this conversation in my head with the studio and the director: "Alright, here's a giant fuckload of money. Now deliver something absolutely fucking epic, blow people's minds and make them trippy crazy balls too."<br />
<br />
When action scenes are done with such creativity, there's nothing better. Inception teased at having a city fold onto itself, but then did nothing with that. Doctor Strange said...fuck it, if Inception, couldn't do shit with it, we're gonna take that and go absolutely balls to the wall. Then as action scenes follows action scene, it feels like they're trying to top the last scene, and you just never know what you're gonna get. People's souls fighting in a hospital? Why the fuck not? And Rachael McAdams pulls off a masterful comedic performances in that scene. "And how do we top the stuff we did before? How about a giant battle scene where time moves backwards." While some films are guilty of putting their best shit too early in the movie and the rest of the movie suffering, Doctor Strange just gets better and better as it goes along.<br />
<br />
Yes, the script has its fair share of bad writing. Some of its drama is poorly written (though Rachael Mcadams is so fucking good with her mediocre dialogue), but when the writing is good, it's really fucking good.<br />
<br />
So Doctor Strange reads a forbidden book with super powerful, dangerous sorcerer spells. He casts a spell, then the librarian and his teacher catch him in the act and scold him:<br />
<br />
<b>Mordo</b>: "Tampering with continum probabilities is forbidden"<br />
<b>Doctor Strange</b>: "I was just doing what it said in the book"<br />
<b>Wong</b>: "What did the book say about the dangers of performing that ritual?"<br />
<b>Doctor Strange</b>: "I don't know. I haven't gotten to that part yet."<br />
<b>Mordo</b>: "Temporal manipulations can create branches in time. Unstable dimensional openings. Spatial paradoxes! Time loops! You want to get stuck re-living the same day over and over forever or never having existed at all?!"<br />
<b>Doctor Strange</b>: "...They should have put the warnings before the spell"<br />
<br />
Come on! That dialogue is absurdly delightful and hilarious!<br />
<br />
<b>4. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse</b><br />
<br />
If I had to pick the best theatrical experience of the past decade; a movie that you absolutely fucking missed out on by not going to the theatres, it's Into the Spider-Verse in Dbox 3d (the chairs that move and vibrate according to what's going on in the movie). Okay fine, yes, I was very stoned, but that was the most fun, entertaining, tripping the fuck out ride of an experience. On top of that, an extremely creative script, and just absolutely on the point comedy writing.<br />
<br />
Miles Morales and Peter Parker would have such great comedic chemistry. Nicolas Cage playing Spider-Man Noir... please make a fucking Spider-Man Noir movie and cast Nic Cage, god damn it! Hell, Spider-Ham would be great too. This movie has so much fun with the spider-verse characters, the awkward teenage stuff with Miles is hilarious, the relationship with his dad has surprising dramatic depth, hell, Miles relationship with Peter Parker and the way it ends up changing Peter's outlook on his own life is so well done.<br />
<br />
Into the Spider-Verse has such a grand, epic plot that's so refreshingly different than any other spider-man movie or superhero movies in general. I wish Into the Spider-Verse could be brought back to Dbox theatres. I've yet to watch it on a regular TV, but I'm sure it'll still be great. While its trippy visuals are a huge part of its appeal, the script is every bit as good.<br />
<br />
<b>3. The Grey</b><br />
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This is the best example ever of a mis-marketed movie. The trailers made it look like a Liam Neeson karate kicking wolves in the face survival movie from Joe Carnahan, the director of the god awful <i>A-Team</i>. To say I had low expectations for this was an understatement, but great trick by the marketing team to tease a big dumb Hollywood movie and actually deliver an intense, powerful, existential, thought provoking, and poetic movie about coming to terms with death, and what truly matters in life. To quote Wael Khairy's review, "The Grey explores man's most frightening questions, the reason we're on this planet, if there's an afterlife or if 'dead is dead'. What makes this film so scary to me aren't the wolves, but the fact that it encapsulates so much of what we fear as human beings, our fear of heights, flights, drowning or dying alone."<br />
<br />
Liam Neeson's performance in The Grey easily stands out to me as the best performance of the decade and the biggest robbery in the history of the Oscars. From the beginning of the movie when he's given up on life and attempts suicide to the moment he talks a dying man through his death to the moment that he yells at God (which could have gone so unintentionally hilariously bad), this movie is full of such powerful moments that have never left my memory, and I can't think of any actor that could have done it better than Neeson.<br />
<br />
I also have to point out how refreshingly different this is from your standard survival movies. One of the biggest cliches is the giant douchebag character. We've seen enough survival movies to know how he'll fuck with other people's shit, selfishly cost people their lives and meet a horrible fate as karma for being a douchebag. <i>The Grey </i>decides to tease the audience with this character, but the arc that he goes through is so beautifully written.<br />
<br />
On top of all that profound shit, it's an entertaining, thrilling survival movie. The entertainment factor is just the icing on the cake of one of the most surprisingly powerful dramas of the decade. <br />
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<b>2. Before Midnight</b><br />
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In 1995, Richard Linklater released a very unconventional romantic comedy titled <i>Before Sunrise</i>, a romance that had almost no structure, very little conflict, and simply followed two strangers who meet on a train, and spend the day in Venice together before they have to part ways. I imagine that any producer, agent or screenwriting teachers would have told Richard Linklater this film will bore the audience to tears. But, audiences just fell in love with these two characters falling in love, the chemistry was electric, their conversations were interesting as fuck, and it just felt magical. Then spawned into the best trilogy in the history of cinema. A rare trilogy where each installment gets better and better.<br />
<br />
With that said that brings us to <i>Before Midnight</i>, which takes place 18 years after their initial meet cute moment on the train. <i>Before Sunrise </i>perhaps had more interesting philosophical conversations than the sequel <i>Before Sunset</i>, but I'd say <i>Before Sunset</i> was a more complete, emotional movie with more at stake; once all the pleasantries were exchanged, we learned that their lives were kind of fucked up from that one magical night and things were not okay.<br />
<br />
<i>Before Midnight</i> really is the best of both predecessors. Linklater, Delpy and Hawke were very profound, intelligent people 18 years ago, but they've only gotten deeper, more mature, and more intelligent with age, and the screenplay truly shows that. It has the most interesting conversations (the lunch scene is maybe the best dialogue scene of any of the trilogy, and that old lady's speech about "just passing through"...just wow), and Before Midnight has the most at stake. Their honeymoon period is way the fuck back in the past, and now we see all the cracks and complications that come with time. As much as I loved watching the characters fall in love, their half hour long argument scene truly is something else. It's not easy to sit through, it's uncomfortable, and emotionally gutting, but find me a better argument scene in any other movie. This is maybe why the big argument in Marriage Story was kinda meh for me.<br />
<br />
I know some people who loved watching this couple fall in love were not quite as keen on seeing how sour things got, but it's realistic. It's life.<br />
<br />
<b>1. It's Such a Beautiful Day</b><br />
<br />
My pick for #1 not only had by far the smallest budget, but probably seen by the least amount of people. I want so badly for more and more people to discover this gem. A 60 minute stick figure animated movie is not only the best movie of the past decade, but one of my favorite movies ever. A screenplay that is wildly eccentric, an animation style that is at times bare bones and at other times absolutely fucking bonkers, original, stylistic, and brilliant at conveying the fucked up shit going on in its protagonist's head. Don Herdzfeldt clearly follows no rule book in this movie.<br />
<br />
At the beginning, Bill is the most basic stick figure drawing. By the end, I feel like I went on a journey with Bill, felt his pain, his disappointments in life, the banal moments that he realizes has consumed so much of his life, his struggle with mental illness, coming to terms with his mortality, and the beauty he discovers about the world around him as his end comes closer and closer. I hope I don't make this sound like a grim as fuck movie; it's also fucking hilarious.<br />
<br />
It's Such a Beautiful Day not only has a wonderfully dark sense of humour, but the comedy writing is just so quirky and eccentric. The way it can go from high brow to low brow so seamlessly is wonderfully done. It captures the every day socially awkward moments of life in a funnier way than any other movie. As the movie goes back through Bill's family tree to kind of explain the people that preceded him that explain the way he is...that's some funny ass shit.<br />
<br />
<i>It's Such a Beautiful Day</i> manages to be extraordinary in telling a story of an otherwise ordinary man. In a brief 60 minute runtime, I felt like I went on a life journey with Bill, and I felt like I went on a spiritual journey. Absolutely amazing to pull off this kind of depth once again...with fucking stick figures is astonishing. This movie takes #1 by a landslide.<br />
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This is not an easy movie to find, but here's a vimeo link to watch it. Rent it. Buy it. This dude deserves to make more money.<br />
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<a href="https://vimeo.com/ondemand/itssuchabeautifulday">https://vimeo.com/ondemand/itssuchabeautifulday</a><br />
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<br />
And that is all folks. I hope you enjoyed the read, and I hope you take some of my recommendations.The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-43163099456126453092020-01-29T08:48:00.004-08:002020-01-29T08:48:59.301-08:00The Best movies of the decade (2010s) - Part 1 - #20 to #11<div>
Here's part 1 of my list #20 to #11 - best movies of the past decade. #11 to 1 should be up next week. Without further ado, let's get on with it...<br />
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<b>Honorable mentions:</b></div>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The World’s End, Flipped, The Raid: Redemption,
Birdman, Life in a Day, The Impossible, A separation, Blade Runner 2049, How to Start
an Orgy in a Small town, Lone Survivor, Interstellar, La La Land, Maggie's Plan<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b>20. Mom and Dad</b></div>
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I'm sure it goes through all parents' minds. They love their children and would do anything for them, but sometimes they kinda want to murder their kids too. And from that sentiment is a horror/comedy, about a curse that makes all parents want to murder their kids, and NOBODY could have possibly been more well casted as a dad trying to murder his kids than Nicolas Cage. Sometimes when Nic Cage can turn his batshit insane acting up to 11, there is simply nothing better in cinema, and not only is this movie absolutely fucking hilarious, its brutal violence is kind of delightful, and it's simply the most fun horror movie of the decade. Honorable shout out to another great horror/comedy YOU'RE NEXT which is also fucking hilarious, but I give the edge to Mom and Dad.<br />
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<b>19. Cold Weather</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Ah, the mumblecore movies. It's all about being realistic and capturing authenticity of life and the way people really talk, with much more focus on character development and relationships, but this subgenre often results in movies that are devoid of an actual plot.<br />
<br />
Cold Weather is the answer to that. Low budget mumblecore meets Sherlock Holmes; easily my pick for my favorite detective movie of the decade. Warning, this movie will test a lot of people's patience as the first 40 mins go at a very leisure pace, as the movie depicts the mundane lives these characters live and a protagonist who's brilliant, but kind of wasting away his life. Once the mystery begins, a mumblecore style mystery is actually really refreshing different and so rich with comedy. I just loved this brother sister team detective team and not enough movies focus on sibling relationships. When it's time for the movie's climax, it results in one of the most suspenseful chase scenes without any big budget special effects (though a soundtrack reminiscent of Punch Drunk Love definitely does help); all it took was for us to really know, follow and fall in love with these characters and then the intensity and suspense is palpable. I love this movie and it's been quite an influence on the current script I'm working on.<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyryVzQWQWI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyryVzQWQWI</a><br />
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<b>18. Mei Ren Yu (The Mermaid)</b></div>
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I think this is the funniest movie to ever come out of China, so if anyone disagrees, please point me in the direction of a funnier movie. I've seen quite a lot of Stephen Chow as an actor and director, and this is his best. I'd maybe kinda describe it as Avatar with hilarious cheesy effects meets Monty Python. There's so much creativity and energy to the comedy, whether it's physical comedy, absurdness, intentionally preposterous plot points, or that scene when the billionaire walks into a police station to report that he'd been kidnapped by mermaids; I knew it would be funny, but I wasn't expecting one of the single funniest scenes in the history of comedy. I think any aspiring comedy directors need to study this film about how to think outside the box when it comes to directing comedy.</div>
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<b>17. The Secret In their Eyes</b> (The 2010 Argentina version, please do not mistaken this as a review of the god awful Hollywood remake with Julia Roberts and Chiwetel Ejiofor)<br />
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What starts off as a murder mystery turns into one of the most powerful dramas. While this movie is definitely famous for its breathtakingly amazing one take in the soccer stadium (while a bit of a deux ex machina, I'll forgive it for how fucking amazing of a shot it was), it has probably the most powerful ending of any film this past decade that will stick with you for a long time. Instead of being a standard catch a killer crime thriller, this movie is more concerned about its characters, and exploring the power of love (the good and the bad), obsession, our inescapable passions, regret, the chances we should have taken in life, and about being prisoners of our past. Please watch this one and DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THE GOD AWFUL HOLLYWOOD REMAKE!<br />
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Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtrWxaygpYA">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtrWxaygpYA</a><br />
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<b>16. Unfriended</b></div>
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This is a rare movie where I will say, the best way to watch it is on your laptop, with headphones, by yourself in a darkened room. A horror movie that completely takes place on a skype chat seemed like a risky approach that could have ended disastrously. I think what we ended up getting is not only one of the most creative horror films in many years, but I think the best pure horror film of the decade; the Skype approach is actually successful in making things more tense and suspenseful. Once the movie really gets going, it doesn't give you a single minute to relax. I can't name one thing the movie could have done better with its approach. From its shocking opening to the character reveals at the end, it's great to get a horror movie that actually has a point to make about cyber bulling, about the way we treat each other, and puts into question what truly makes a good person.<br />
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Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q72LWqCx3pc">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q72LWqCx3pc</a><br />
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<b>15. Whiplash</b><br />
<b><br /></b>What a decade for director Damien Chazelle! Whiplash, La La Land and First Man could be the most impressive resume of the decade. But, it is Whiplash that makes my list. While this definitely felt like <i>Full Metal Jacket</i> applied to music school, I take Whiplash any day over Full Metal Jacket.<br />
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It's fitting that a movie about an absolutely obsessive pursuit of greatness just grabs you by the balls and never lets go. Absolutely fucking intense from beginning to end, almost every Hollywood action movie failed to raise my pulse and grip me the way Whiplash did. While Miles Teller is great, I rank JK Simmons's work here as maybe one of the top 5 best performances of the past decade and one of the funniest performances too (Okay. I love myself some politically incorrect humor).<br />
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<b>14. Zoom</b></div>
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The #1 movie to come out of Canada this past decade. It's kind of cool that I discovered this movie by accident. I came home, turned on the TV and it just happened to be on TMN and I don't know what it was about this movie that caught my attention, but once I started watching, I was glued. I have since seen it twice.<br />
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Maybe best described as a combination of Inception, Waking Life, Stranger Than Fiction, and Young People Fucking? An ensemble film juggling 3 stories, and the way the stories connect is quite a meta-mindfuck. It's the best case of high brow meets low brow; an arthouse film mixing different styles of filmmaking with its different stories with the most raunchy low brow sense of humour imaginable. Zoom is unlike anything else out there, it feels very Canadian and the movie is just so much fucking fun, and it may make your brain hurt a little bit trying to put all the pieces together.<br />
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Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFRUtSbNp6g">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFRUtSbNp6g</a><br />
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<b>13. Coco</b></div>
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Easily the most powerful movie to come out of Pixar this past decade. What started as a seemingly mediocre movie turned to something profound with it a big plot point, of how characters in the land of the dead disappear when the last person that remembers them dies and there's no more memory of them on Earth. Damn. Now Pixar has its fair share of tear jerking moments, from Andy giving his toys away to the opening 6 minutes of UP, but none of them compare to that final moment with Miguel and his grandma. There are movies that make you cry, and then there's Coco where I had to sit through the entire end credits (long credits might I add), because I couldn't stop.<br />
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For people that lost someone really close to them, I don't know yet if Coco is good as a therapeutic movie, or if would just utterly gut them. I'm curious for someone to weigh in on this. </div>
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<b>12. The Big Sick</b></div>
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I'm a huge fan of Judd Apatow and what he's done to the romantic comedy whether he's directing or producing. <i>The Big Sick</i> however is the best movie to come out of the Apatow school of romcoms. It's the first Apatow production worthy of an Oscar; hilarious, but its dramatic material is stronger than its comedy.<br />
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It's almost an injustice to just call it a romcom. It's also a wonderful friendship movie, a hospital drama, and an interesting exploration of culture clashes between the older traditional generation of a Pakistani family vs. the younger, Westernized generation, and it seamlessly juggles all these stories with hilarity and authenticity. While the chemistry is electric between Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan, as she falls into a medically induced coma and her parents show up, the friendship he strikes up with her parents is the most memorable aspect of the movie, not only providing some of the best comedy, but the most touching moments. Kumail has phenomenal comedic chemistry with Ray Ramano and Holly Hunter.<br />
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I actually went into the movie having no idea it was based on a true story, written by the couple that lived the experience. It must have been the most horrible time of their lives, but sometimes the most painful life experiences can make for the best stories. </div>
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<b>11. The Death of Dick Long</b></div>
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This movie wins for the twist of the decade. This is a movie barely anyone has seen, but the #1 movie I'm dying to see people's reactions for. I almost wish there were hidden cams for audience reactions. Nothing will prepare you for a dark comedy like this one.<br />
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When you watch the trailer, it looks like a FARGO type movie. A mysterious death, with his friends trying to cover it up. I know this formula, and I thought I knew the kind of crime thriller I was in for, and I'm glad to say I was completely wrong. Dick Long is such a refreshingly original film. For one, I think it may have the best ensemble cast of unknown actors. Every single performance is so fucking good. Its depiction of small town life in Alabama where everyone knows each other feels authentic. I have so much respect for this movie because it's fucking hilarious, yet the movie never once feels like it's trying to be funny. All the comedy feels like completely natural reactions to the shitstorm the characters find themselves in, and the hilarious stupid ways they try to cover up their crimes. But hey, I can laugh at these characters, but if I found myself in a situation where I had to cover up a crime, would I be any smarter? I don't know.<br />
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Especially if you're tired of the same old shit and want something different, watch this. It's one I'm so eager to discuss and know how you reacted to it and know just how much your jaw dropped. </div>
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Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGBe8xsWGlo">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGBe8xsWGlo</a></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-12342779318187730412019-01-07T09:21:00.000-08:002019-01-07T10:07:25.233-08:00Top 10 best movies of 2018Wow. And to think that one year from now I'll be writing a top 10 best movies of the decade. Boy has time flown by. But, let's look at now. 2018 is in the bag, and looking at my top 10, pretty good fucking year! When I get around to writing best of the decade, my pick for #1 this year may have very high spot on that list.<br />
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What a fucking year for Nicolas Cage!<br />
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Although no documentaries made my top 10, this was a remarkably good year for documentaries and I'll write a little bit more about some of the best that I saw.<br />
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And it was also a great year for trippy as fuck movies.<br />
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First off:<br />
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<b>Honorable mentions:</b><br />
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Spy Gone North, Searching, The Hate U Give, Fahrenheit 11/9, Antman and the
Wasp, Upgrade, Three Identical Strangers, Mom and Dad, First Man, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, The Clovehitch Killer<br />
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<b>10. Clara</b> ****1/2<br />
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I saw 4 space movies at TIFF this year, and while I quite enjoyed First Man, the best space movie goes to Canada. It's also shocking to learn that the screenwriter of this movie was only 18 when he first wrote the script. No 18 year old should be this smart, god damnit! This movie juggles many things, but it all forms into a cohesive whole: a fascinating as fuck science fiction about a lonely man's obsession to find life on other planets (and the science about how he goes about searching is fascinating as for the lack of better words...fascinating as fuck), a drama about dealing with tragedy, a love story about the girl that enters his life and helps him on his search, and also manages to be philosophical and for a low budget Canadian film, it has shockingly great space visuals. If there's a slight weakness, some of Clara's dialogue is fucking cheesy (the character Clara, not the movie as a whole), but Akash Sherman was really young when he wrote this, and I'm sure his dialogue will improve with his future movies.<br />
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Last year, Coco was the one movie that had me balling my eyes out through-out the entire end credits. This year, it's Clara. The final shot of this movie is the single best ending of any movie this year, and Patrick J. Adams puts on one of the best performances of the year. Akash Sherman might be the most exciting person to look out for in Canadian cinema.<br />
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Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we3O4mRB_qE&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we3O4mRB_qE&t</a><br />
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<b>9. Welcome to Marwen </b>****1/2<br />
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This is the #1 movie that rottentomatoes got very wrong, and to think I almost listened to them and skipped out on this movie. Regardless of whether this movie took creative liberties with the true story of Mark Hogancamp (I'm guessing that's a big criticism of people who loved the documentary), this is one of the most visually stunning movies of the year. When it comes to fantasy dramas about characters that escape into a fantasy world to shield themselves from the pains of reality, no movies transitions and jumps from fantasy to reality and back more seemlessly and with more style than this one and that's fucking difficult for a movie that has to transition between live action and stop motion animation with dolls for fuck's sakes! That is impressive! I know this won't get a best picture nod, but at least give it best visual effects!<br />
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The action scenes involving the dolls are way fucking better than you'd expect. The drama about a guy dealing with PTSD and how he needs this fictional fantasy world to deal with the unbearable pain of the worst hate crime anyone can experience is so well done, and I think an Oscar worthy performance by Steve Carrell. His pain is real, and the friendships he has with the women in his life (and appear in his fantasy world of Marwen) have so much charm and heart. Perhaps the female characters aren't the most 3 dimensional, but their interactions are always fun and there's something different and funny about each friendship.<br />
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Despite the sad subject matter, this is an uplifting movie. Some of life's greatest pain makes for the best art and that's exactly what Mark Hogencamp did. It's an inspirational story about overcoming adversity and although the dramatic courtroom speech is one of Hollywood's oldest cliches, damn I couldn't hold those tears back!<br />
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Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6dy7xQ8NeE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6dy7xQ8NeE</a><br />
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<b>8. Green Book</b> ****1/2<br />
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On paper, this looked like such formulaic, cliched Oscar bait. I had zero interest in it, but then it won the audience choice award at TIFF. Since its wide release, reviews haven't been quite as glowing. Yes, it is another movie where the black guy is the supporting character, there to make the white guy learn the error of his ways. In the movie's defense, the screenwriter is the son of Tony Lip, so obviously he'll be able to write a far more 3 dimensional character of his dad than Don Shirley who he probably met, but didn't know all that well. I appreciate though that in a movie dealing with racism in the deep south, they chose a comedic roadtrip approach which is actually kind of refreshing.<br />
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To me, Green Book was simply the bromance of the year and shockingly one of the funniest movies of the year. It's an absolute joy to see the growth of a friendship between real life characters Tony Lip and Don Shirley and the comedic chemistry between Viggo Mortensen and Mahershala Ali is among the best I've seen this year. Once the two of them hit the road, there's not one dull moment. I'm trying to think back to other roadtrip movies that came out this past decade; I'm hard pressed to think of one I liked better than Green Book.<br />
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<b>7. Annihilation</b> ****1/2<br />
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What a follow up to <i>Ex Machina </i>by Alex Garland. First he makes a very smart mind fuck of a movie about artificial intelligence and now he tackles DNA with a bigger budget, even more mindfuckery and giving zero fucks about pleasing the mainstream Hollywood crowd. </div>
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This is one insane mindfuck of a movie; an absolute trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At times brutally
violent, horrifying, abstract, at times stunningly beautiful, and so creative with what it does with
the small piece of land where evolution works in a very different way and where the DNA of any life form can mix with any other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Especially for those people bored with the absolute mediocrity of Ridley Scott's recent Alien movies, this is the breath of fresh air we're looking for. </span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89OP78l9oF0">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89OP78l9oF0</a></span></div>
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<b>6. Blindspotting</b> ****1/2</div>
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I feel like this is the best movie of 2018 that captures the voice of the
Black Lives Matter movement (though <i>The Hate U Give</i> is also an excellent movie and a good companion piece to this one). When you
have people angry about NFL players kneeling during the national anthem, this
is the movie they have to watch to understand the outrage. </div>
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It could be all gloomy, but I love how Blindspotting weaves its message
around a very entertaining buddy comedy about a black man who’s on parole and the friendship with his trouble making criminal White friend,
quite possibly the last person he should be hanging out with if he wants to
stay out of trouble. Despite addressing
gentrification, the movie even gets some good laughs out of black neighborhoods
being taken over by Hipsters, ie: a burger joint that serves vegan burgers…you
have to actually ask for a beef burger if you want one.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The film is directed with a lot of creativity
and I applaud the director for some huge risks. The climax is probably the most talked about scene as it has been very divisive. I understand the people who didn't like it, but I applaud the director for thinking way outside the box and going for broke. Blindspotting to me is the <i>Do the Right Thing</i> of the 2000s. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Trailer:</span><br /><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9-HBqVbtTo">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9-HBqVbtTo</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I think there needs to be no discussion of Oscar race for best actor. It's simple. Nicolas Cage in MANDY. It just may be Nic Cage's most batshit insane performance which is saying a lot, seeing how MOM AND DAD came out the same year (also a great movie), and let's not forget the Cage's being on crack, seeing dancing dead bodies and pulling guns on old ladies performance in <i>Port of Call: New Orleans</i>. But his work in <i>Mandy </i>tops them all, and when Cage is on his A game, taking performance up to 11, there's simply nothing better. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Mandy is one hell of a batshit insane, trippy as fuck, avante garde, super interesting color palette gorgeously shot, violent as fuck with each death getting more and more fucked up revenge film. This is a beautifully directed film and extremely stylish, even mixing in animations at times. But back to Nicolas Cage...</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">When it comes to great performances, no acting this year tops the one scene of Nic Cage after he's just escaped from his captors, bruised and bloodied; he's in a lot of physical pain, but he just saw his wife get murdered by a cult. He pours alcohol on his wounds, chugs down the hard liquor and screams in unbearable pain. No performance made me feel a character's pain quite like this scene and no actor could have pulled this off like Nicolas Cage.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Trailer:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI054ow6KJk">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI054ow6KJk</a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b>4. Thoroughbreds</b> ****1/2 </span></div>
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If you have a fucked up, twisted sense of humour like me, dark
comedies don’t get much better than this.
<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">This is one hell of a twisted coming of
age/friendship movie. It has easily the best comedic dialogue writing of the
year. Olivia Cooke who had been
seemingly typecasted as a sweet girl suffering from a disease pulls a complete
180, playing a girl who is incapable of experiencing any emotions. The fact that there's absolutely no Oscar talk of her performance shows that the Oscars are still very inside the box and won't embrace anything that out there. It's a shame. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Let's not
forget Anya Taylor-Joy who seems like the normal girl, but there is some dark
shit going on in her mind too.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">The two
of them have phenomenal chemistry and it’s the most memorable
relationship of any movie this year. It never tries to be sentimental.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Its tone is dark, cynical and bad ass from
beginning to end, and I never knew where the story would take me.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Might I add, it's very interesting the way this movie is shot. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt;">Trailer:</span><br /><span style="font-size: 14px;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPcV_3D3V2A">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPcV_3D3V2A</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"><b>3.</b> <b>Eighth Grade</b> ****1/2</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had expressed jealousy of Akash Sherman's intelligence for Clara, but multiply that jealousy by 11 when it comes to Bo Burnham. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">No 18 year old
should have been coming up with stand-up comedy as brilliant as his.</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">No 27 year old making his directorial debut
should be able to make a movie as flawless as this.</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I expected a good movie with perhaps structural problems, self indulgence or attempts to be too quirky,
but none of those issues arised.</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I have almost nothing to criticize about this
movie whatsoever.</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">What the fuck?!</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">His first crack at a feature film is better than most people's experienced directors' best work. </span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Eighth Grade is wonderful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heartbreaking,
authentic, low key and funny movie, where the humour feels so natural where many indy directors try too hard to be quirky. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything about it
feels so accurate and realistic about the lives of eighth graders today, in
this social media controlled life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Elsie Fisher has rightfully been in the discussion for an Oscar nomination, but let's not forget a best supporting actor nod for Josh Hamilton playing one of the most likable dads ever in a movie; trying his best to be a good single dad, but at times clueless. Boy does he shine in that campfire scene. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="textexposedshow"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I agree with a friend of mine that this is the movie LADY BIRD tried to be. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I will
also add, I think a far better coming of age movie than BOYHOOD, and I'll even
add that it captured the heart and teenage insight of one of my
favorite novels - The Perks of Being a Wallflower better than that actual movie
adaptation of that book. But Bo...now that you're a great filmmaker, please
don't quit your stand-up comedy.</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">You can
do both!</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Trailer:</span><br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnesHAtSHzs&t=">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnesHAtSHzs&t=</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"><b>2. Paddington 2</b> ****1/2</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">To get the first question out of the way, no I wasn't stoned when I saw this movie, but I will be when I re-visit it. I should also add that this is the #1 rated movie on rottentomatoes. A true definition of a family movie, where adults will get just as much out of the movie as the kids. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I thought Paddington 1 was an over-rated, generic comedy. This may be one of the best sequels of all time, absolutely superior to its predecessor in every way imaginable. It's like the complete opposite of the Mary Poopins Sequel. Some people may say I was really harsh for calling Mary Poppins Returns a piece of shit, but Paddington 2 is how you properly do a magical, delightful family film that improves upon its predecessor. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One thing that must be stressed…this is a good fucking comedy, with some very creative physical comedy that we don’t see enough of these days. Paddington's brutal honesty, his inability to know that sometimes honesty can be hurtful also leads to some great comedy. Despite how many times Paddington fucks up, he’s so well-intentioned, and has such a heart, you can’t help but love him. Hugh Grant does his funniest work in years, playing a super narcissistic, master of disguise burglar, and in my opinion the best villain of 2018. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The majority of Hollywood movies have feel good endings, but very few movies left me in such a euphorically uplifted mood like this one. On my list of all time greatest feel good movies, Paddington 2 is definitely up there. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52x5HJ9H8DM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52x5HJ9H8DM</a></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. <b>Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse </b>*****</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not a comic book nerd. I still think there's waaaay too many super hero movies and I'm tired of seeing the same super heroes rebooted over and over again. Imagine my shock that once again, a Marvel super hero movie has once again topped my list (last time was <i>Doctor Strange</i>). But hey, I like to be entertained, and when a movie has me tripping the fuck out and saying, "</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hoooooly fucking shit!!" repeatedly through-out the entire movie, absolutely dazzled by a movie's energetic, colorful and fresh comic book style of animation, there's nothing better. I don't know how this movie will translate to a TV screen, but seeing it in theatres in Dbox 3-D is a unique movie going experience like no other. It's such an immersive experience, a true escape into this absolutely bonkers universe. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">An absolute trip could have been enough, but the movie also happens to come with a great script. Very creative story, a really fun range of Spider-characters from various parallel universes, and really good character relationships with great humour and gravitas not only between Miles and his dad, but a wonderful teacher/student relationship with Miles and Peter Parker. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And Nicolas fucking Cage once again absolutely kills it, easily the funniest voice acting in years, playing Noir Spider-Man. Spider-Verse is fucking hilarious, from physical comedy to awkwardness to really witty dialogue. It</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> never tries too hard to get its laughs. </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The over-rated Deadpool 2 could really learn from Spider-Verse about writing clever meta humour.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I've said before, I typically prefer Indy films, but when a mainstream blockbuster gets a big budget with an extremely creative vision, nothing is better. This movie is an experience. I can't think of too many things more fun than sitting through this movie...ON WEED! </span></div>
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<b>Other notable awards:</b><br />
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<b>Actor of the year:</b><br />
Nicolas Cage<br />
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Not only did he have the performance of the year in <i>Mandy</i>, but one of the funniest performances ever in a horror movie in <i>Mom and Dad</i>, and if there was an Oscar for best voice actor in an animated movie, he easily takes it for his hilarious work playing Spider-man Noir in <i>Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. </i></div>
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<b>Trippiest movie of the year:</b></div>
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<i>Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse</i></div>
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Very worthy runners up:</div>
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Ant-Man and the Wasp, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, Mandy, Annihilation</div>
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<b>Best Use of 3-D:</b><br />
Tie: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald and Antman & the Wasp</div>
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Runner up: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse</div>
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<b>Best ending:</b></div>
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Clara<br />
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<b>Best Cinematography:</b><br />
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald<br />
Runner up: Mandy</div>
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<b>Best Actor and Best Actress:</b></div>
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Nicolas Cage in <b>Mandy </b>(runners up: Patrick J. Adams in Clara, Ryan Gosling in First Man)</div>
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Olivia Cooke in <b>Thoroughbreds (</b>runners-up: Amandla Stenberg in The Hate U Give, Elise Fisher in Eighth Grade<b>)</b></div>
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<b>Best villain:</b></div>
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Hugh Grant in <i>Paddington 2 </i></div>
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<b>Best super-hero movie:</b></div>
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Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse</div>
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Runners up: The criminally under-rated <i>Teen Titans Go!: To the Movies, Ant-man &the Wasp</i></div>
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<b>Best Animated movie:</b></div>
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Okay, this is a no brainer. I don't even need to say it.</div>
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If the Oscars give best animated film to Pixar's Mediocres 2, they have officially lost all credibility. Though a runner up worth mentioning is: Teen Titans Go! to the movies. This was my pick for best animated movie in a year of weak animated movies until Spider-verse came along. </div>
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<b>Best Foreign Language Film:</b></div>
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<i>A Spy Gone North</i> (South Korea)<br />
It's the most captivating spy movie in years.</div>
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Runners up: <i>Husband Material</i> (absolutely delightful Bollywood movie), <i>Shadow </i>(China)<br />
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<b>Best horror:</b><br />
<i>Mom & Dad</i></div>
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(Nic Cage wins maybe one of the funniest performances ever in a horror movie)<br />
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<b>Documentaries:</b></div>
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Damn good year for documentaries. To name a few: </div>
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<i><b>Three Identical Strangers</b></i> is intriguing, thought provoking and more and more fucked up as it goes along. </div>
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<i><b>Screwball</b> </i>which I saw at TIFF...who knew a baseball documentary could be so fascinating, hilarious and stranger than fiction, in its exploration of the doping scandal involving A-Rod and the all the morons involved including the MLB themselves. </div>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">Shirkers, </i>it's on Netflix, folks. Most mystery documentaries are about murder or disapperance; how about a mysterious filmmaking teacher who befriends his students, makes a movie with them, then disappears. And then it turns out he's done this to many people? This movie explores one of the strangest real life villains and it's really fascinating.</div>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">Minding the Gap...</i>talk about a filmmaker using the medium of a documentary as therapy; as a form of exploring his pain and the pain of his friends growing up with abusive parents and the psychological scars it leaves on them. In the midst of it all, they have skateboarding as their outlet and the skating is really well shot.</div>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">Won't you be my Neighbor?: </i>Not as good as the docs I listed above, but still very touching and interesting insight into a TV personality who truly had a great heart and truly wanted to make the world a better place with his show. I'm glad that the show <i>Kidding</i> came out the same year. Let's hope Mr. Rogers didn't have any of Jeff Pickles's demons though. </div>
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But...if I had to pick a favourite...</div>
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I'm going with <i style="font-weight: bold;">Fahrenheit 11/9</i>, far better than its predecessor. Simply put, I think it's the most important documentary to come out this year. It presents everything that's fucked up about our political climate today, but has inspirational moments, showing the young people, their energy and ambition and ability to change the world around them. It's a call to everyone that this is what's fucked with the world, now go out and do something about it! </div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-240658723157350682018-09-06T10:28:00.002-07:002018-09-06T10:28:31.780-07:00The Top 10 best movies of the first 3/4 of 2018Fuck the pretentious introductory paragraph about my observations of 2018 movies. Let's just get on with the list, shall we?<br />
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Honorable mentions:<br />
Upgrade, American Animals, Game Night, Unsane, Red Sparrow, The
Insult, The In between, The Death of Stalin, Nobody Famous, The Avengers:
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10. Searching ****<br />
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What a birthday gift! Released in Canada on my birthday, watched it on my bday. While the approach of seeing a movie primarily through the protagonist's computer screen, I believe this is a first for a mystery thriller. It's an effective, creative approach, not only to see what life is like for the family for an emotional connection, but also effective in showing the mindset of the protagonist. He's like a computer nerd Sherlock, solving all the clues and finding everything out through social media, and learning more about his daughter, a girl he really didn't know all that well.<br />
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By the end of the movie, I was a little disappointed at myself for not seeing the ending coming. It is to the movie's credit that they drop clues that maybe should have given it away, but then misdirect, and when it comes full circle...it's kind of brilliant. While most Hollywood movies are content to entertain, but be forgotten after the credits roll, I found myself really appreciating the story after the credits and putting all the pieces of the puzzle together in my head. This is not just a captivating mystery, but quite an emotional one as well.<br />
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9. Antman and the Wasp ****</div>
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I may be the only person saying this, but this is the best super hero movie of the year. I’m shocked to say this is the absolute trippiest movie of the year, and hands down the best 3-D movie so far. Especially the scenes where characters are shrunk to the size of cells and attacked by body bacteria in 3-D…Absolutely tripping balls! This movie is just so energetic, so much fun, it’s creative especially with its car chases, and shocked to say this…just a delightful movie. </div>
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8. Three identical Strangers ****</div>
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Can you imagine if you were adopted, then one day you find out that you have two identical twins living in other parts of the country? This documentary had my attention from the first minute to the end. What starts as a feel good story about these three people who have a new found joy and love in their lives unravels into a truly fucked up, unbelievable, poignant, sad story. </div>
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7. Mom and Dad ****</div>
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For every 6 to 8 horrible Nic Cage performances where his over the top acting is laughably horrible, there’s always 1 where his over the top acting makes the movie, and you can’t possibly picture any actor doing it better than Nic Cage. Well, this is the case, in a horror movie about a curse that makes all parents homicidal maniacs trying to murder their children, no one could possibly have been better casted than Nic Cage as a homicidal dad trying to murder his children. He delivers some of the best monologues in the history of monologues. This is my single favorite performance of the year. Give Nic Cage an Oscar, god damnit! Such a fun dark comedy/horror that never takes itself seriously. </div>
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6. A Spy Gone North ****1/2</div>
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Spy movies just aren’t my thing. If they don’t have a shitload of action or comedy, a 2+ hour spy movie with a convoluted plot…I don’t know, I just don’t generally enjoy them. So going into a 2.5 hour South Korean spy movie described as a completely anti-James Bond/Mission impossible and where I have to read subtitles for 2.5 hours sounded fucking boring. </div>
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I’m very pleasantly surprised to be including this in my top 10. Despite almost no action, this movie is at times intense as fuck, as there’s so much at stake. Its plot is captivating from beginning to end, and what starts as a kind of simple story about a spy from South Korea infiltrating the North to find out if they have nukes turns out to be so much more, where the line of good guys and bad guys is blurred, politics plays a big role, and despite being on opposing sides, friendships can still happen as regardless of where we’re from, we are united by morality and compassion, and a key friendship in this movie kind of had me in tears. </div>
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I still won’t pretend like I completely understand the relations between North & South Korea, but I feel like I understand it better, and this is the best spy movie to come along in quite some time.</div>
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5. Annihilation</div>
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This is one motherfucking mindfuck of a movie; an absolute fucked up trip. At times brutally violent, at times stunningly beautiful, and so creative with what it does with the small piece of land where evolution works in a very different way. Especially if you’re bored with Ridley Scott making a new mediocre Alien movie every few years, this is a movie that couldn’t possibly be more out there. </div>
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4. Blindspotting</div>
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I feel like this is the movie that captures the voice of the Black Lives Matter movement (there are two more movies about unarmed black people getting shot by the police coming out this year, so it’ll be interesting to compare them to this one). When people are outraged by NFL players kneeling during the national anthem, they need to watch this movie to understand what the protest is all about. </div>
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I love how Blindspotting weaves its message around a very entertaining buddy comedy about a black man who’s just gotten out of jail, serving his final week of parole and the friendship with his trouble making criminal White friend, quite possibly the last person he should be hanging out with if he wants to stay out of trouble. Despite addressing gentrification, the movie even gets some good laughs out of black neighborhoods being taken over by Hipsters, as the movie has some fun taking shots at hipsters. </div>
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The film is directed with a lot of creativity and the director Carlos López Estrada takes some huge risks. The climax will divide audiences, but I applaud him for thinking way outside the box. </div>
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3. Thoroughbreds ****1/2</div>
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If you have a fucked up, twisted sense of humour, dark comedies don’t get much better than this. This is one hell of a twisted coming of age/friendship movie. It has easily the best comedic dialogue writing of the year. Olivia Cooke who had been seemingly typecasted as a sweet girl suffering from a disease pulls a complete 180, playing a girl who is incapable of experiencing any emotions, and I'm starting a best actress Oscar campaign for her. Let's not forget Anya Taylor-Joy who seems like a normal girl, but there is some dark shit going on in her mind too. The two of them have phenomenal chemistry and it’s easily the most memorable relationship of any movie this year. It never tries to be sentimental. Its tone is dark, cynical and bad ass from beginning to end, and I never knew where the story would take me. Might I add, throw in some interesting avante garde filmmaking while we’re at it. I’m still torn between the placement of this movie and my #2. I could see this movie up higher at my end of year list after a re-watch. </div>
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2. Eighth Grade ****1/2</div>
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I am insanely jealous of Bo Burnham's talent. At 18, he was already coming up with better stand up/performance comedy than almost any comedian out there. Now he's 27, and no 27 year old making his directorial debut should be able to make a movie as flawless as this. I have almost nothing to criticize about this movie whatsoever. What the fuck?! It’s not fair for the rest of us aspiring artists that Bo is this damn good at such a young age. </div>
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Eighth Grade is simply a wonderful movie. Heartbreaking, authentic, low key and funny movie without resorting to quirkiness or over the top characters! Everything about it feels so accurate and realistic about the lives of eighth graders today, in this social media controlled life. </div>
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I agree with my friend who says this is the movie LADY BIRD tried to be. I will also add, I think this a better coming of age movie than BOYHOOD. Final addition: I think it captured the heart and teenage insight of one of my favorite novels - The Perks of Being a Wallflower better than that actual film adaptation of that book. But Bo...now that you're a great filmmaker, please don't quit your stand-up comedy. You can do both! </div>
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1. Paddington 2 ****1/2</div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--BsMX490Ws0/W5FYwxu1WuI/AAAAAAAAATI/fFIxSTqhCbEmuWb3gXblTDAm6ArmBKX7ACLcBGAs/s1600/paddington-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="433" data-original-width="650" height="133" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/--BsMX490Ws0/W5FYwxu1WuI/AAAAAAAAATI/fFIxSTqhCbEmuWb3gXblTDAm6ArmBKX7ACLcBGAs/s200/paddington-2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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To get the first question out of the way, no I wasn't stoned when I saw this movie, but I will be when I re-visit it. I should also add that this is the #1 rated movie on rottentomatoes. A true definition of a family movie, where adults will get just as much out of the movie as the kids. </div>
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I thought Paddington 1 was an over-rated, generic comedy. This may be one of the best sequels of all time, absolutely superior to its predecessor in every way imaginable. Paddington 2 is simply the most fun I had at the movies all year; the most delightful movie of the year. </div>
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One thing that must be stressed…this is a good fucking comedy, with some very creative physical comedy that we don’t see enough of these days. Paddington's brutal honesty, his inability to know that sometimes honesty can be hurtful also leads to some great comedy. Despite how many times Paddington fucks up, he’s so good intentioned, and has such a heart, you can’t help but love him. Hugh Grant does his funniest work in years, playing a super narcissistic, master of disguise burglar, and in my opinion the best villain of 2018 so far. </div>
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The majority of Hollywood movies have feel good endings, but very few movies left me in such a euphorically uplifted mood like this one. </div>
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The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-17708681789173306352018-01-08T22:46:00.003-08:002018-01-09T17:51:35.812-08:00The top 10 best movies of 2017...<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
Welcome to the best top 10 list out there. I've included trailers for the lesser known movies.<br />
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Like usual, there's honorable mentions, my top 10 and my special awards at the end.<br />
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There's one tie in this top 10. Now some of you may complain and say, "There shouldn't be 11 movies in a top 10! You don't know what the fuck you're doing", to that I say, "It's my top 10, I'll do what I want, dickwad. Also in that tie, one "movie" isn't technically considered a movie. But, it's 72 mins long, it still does work as a movie if you watch it on its own, so fuck it. This "movie" was better than 90% of other actual movies out there.<br />
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Honorable mentions:<br />
I Don't Feel at Home in this World Anymore, Creep 2, The Square, Wonder Woman, Wind River, Shimmer Lake, John Wick: Chapter 2, Kong: Skull Island, Heel Kick,<br />
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<b>10. The Devil's Candy ****1/2</b><br />
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Best horror movie of the past 2 years; takes a massive shit on IT. It may not be a purely scary horror movie, but it's directed with such creativity and originality. How often do we get an artsy horror movie, let alone a heavy metal horror? We've seen many haunted house horrors, but none like this. I love the concept of an artist getting haunted through his paintings, where a demonic force takes over his mind, making him paint really fucked up shit. </div>
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Beyond the artsyness, the movie is intense as fuck. It's not just a haunted house horror, but also a slasher movie with one hell of an unforgettable villain. The scene with the daughter duct taped in the bathroom is one of the most suspenseful scenes in recent memory. Give us something original, and give us characters that are well developed, that we actually give a shit about, and the suspense will work.<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpRnCZQWqDU&t=">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpRnCZQWqDU&t=</a><br />
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<b>9. The Kingsman: Golden Circle ****1/2</b><br />
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Talk about a ballsy, batshit insane mainstream action movie. This movie goes down some dark fucking places you don't expect from a popcorn action flick, but I have a fucked up sense of humour, so I fucking loved it. <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The wood chipper scene in FARGO is almost tame in comparison to the first scene where we meet J</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">ulianne Moore who has one of those ground beef grinders as her disposal. She </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">has so much fun playing the most twisted villain of any movie this year. For a spy movie, I found the plot actually quite refreshing and creative. You have to love a scene where a spy calls his girlfriend to tell her that he must cheat on her and have sex with this hot girl to save the world, but he doesn't have time to explain. </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">When it comes to spy franchises, fuck Bond. Fuck Bourne. I want more Kingsman as long as Matthew Vaughan stays on as director. Matthew Vaughan really has to be put up there as one of the best action movie directors of our time. Stardust, Kick-Ass and Kingsman 1 and 2? Name an action movie director with a better resume than that. Okay, maybe you can name a few, but not that many! </span><br />
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8. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri ****1/2</b><br />
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What a surprise to see a movie with such a morbidly dark sense of humour, and such politically incorrect language to win the people's choice award at TIFF.<br />
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This is the best dark comedy of the year. You have to hand it to Martin McDonagh; when it comes to making a tragedy out of a storyline of a grieving, angry mother, who can never again live a normal life after her daughter was raped and murdered and the killer was never caught, you don't read that storyline and say, "I see this being the funniest movie of the year"; yet I struggle to think of any other movie that had me howling with laughter more than this one. Frances Mcdormand puts on the most memorable performance of the year; hilarious without ever trying to get laughs. She's simply that way because of horrible life circumstances that made her that person.<br />
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With all that being said, the movie still pulls off the very difficult job of balancing such opposing tones of comedy with such a tragic storyline. These are very well developed characters and it's a joy to see them grow and develop. There are no true good guys and bad guys. No one is completely good, nor is anyone completely evil. They're driven by anger, by the circumstances that life gave them that put them in that place. This could have been a typical murder mystery, but McDonagh opted for something more mature and thoughtful. I think I still prefer McDonagh's IN BRUGES, it was funnier, but I don't know. This one had more depth to it.<br />
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Best Trailer of the year:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jit3YhGx5pU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jit3YhGx5pU</a><br />
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<b>7. Okja ****1/2</b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">When it comes to movies about a friendship between a child and a giant creature that the bastard adults want to take away from the child, I'm hard pressed to think of a weirder, more outlandish, darkly funny, gorgeous looking, and awesome movie than OKJA, and what a follow up this is to SNOWPIERCER; any movie to come from Bong Joon Ho truly is an event movie. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This movie is kind of like CHARLOTTE'S WEB on steroids, crystal meth, and weed combined (replace the cute little pig with a super pig). I can't recommend it enough. Like I mentioned, the cinematography is stunning, it's darkly funny, it has its social commentary, and my god are some of the action scenes absolutely thrilling and so well captured. Best CGI creature of the year goes to Okja, the unforgettable super pig.</span><br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjCebKn4iic">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjCebKn4iic</a><br />
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<b>6. Columbus ****1/2</b><br />
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What a charming movie; the ultimate friendship movie of 2017. I loved this movie in the same ways that I loved <i>Lost in Translation</i>, except this one was better.<br />
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This movie absolutely should win for best cinematography. It has the most stunning shot compositions of any movie this year which is fitting for a movie about architecture. Speaking of archiecture, this movie is very likely to permanently turn you into an architecture nerd and make you far more observant of just about any building you see from the outside and inside.<br />
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But besides all that, it's just a beautiful low key movie about two strangers who meet under undesirable circumstances. They're both going through rough times in their lives and the friendship that happens at just the right time to help them both move on and become better human beings.<br />
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Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3dcnV6Z9Zs">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3dcnV6Z9Zs</a><br />
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5. Colossal ****1/2</b><br />
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This was definitely my favorite movie at TIFF last year. It may be the most absurd movie of the year and really requires a suspension of disbelief. If you cannot accept the movie's premise then it will be hard to get into. It was easy for me, because I admired the movie's audacity to pull off a premise like this. Absurdity + comedy + originality works for me, and if you're going to go absurd, go all the way and don't hold back.</div>
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This is the movie for people who utter that annoying phrase, "Everything's been done. There are no original ideas." For those that seem to be getting bored of the big creature movies of the same CGI orgies of giant creatures destroying shit, along comes Colossal, a movie that's best described as Godzilla meets Being John Malkovich. Now that's a combination I never expected to see. Hell, maybe throw in a little Rachael Getting Married (though not nearly as depressing), as this is Anne Hatheway's best performance since that movie, and her character will remind you of her character from that movie.</div>
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Instead of summarizing the plot, just watch the trailer. As much as I've talked up the movie's absurdness and weirdness, it still is a good character study, showing the lives of small town people, not really going anywhere in their lives and their battles with alcoholism; Anne Hatheway gives an Oscar worthy performance, Jason Sudekis is great, and Tim Blake Nelson is so under-rated as an actor who is never not hilarious every time he's on screen. He loves to play a dumb Hillbilly despite being one of the most profound directors. The emergence of the Godzilla monster, unknowingly controlled by Anne Hatheway can be seen as metaphor for alcoholism, but to me I just enjoyed it as a very original, outrageous, and one of the funniest movies of the year. Even the fact that the CGI and visual effects are all for comedy is also a refreshing change from every big creature feature.</div>
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Earlier I said, if you're going to go absurd, then go all the way; just when you thought the movie couldn't be any more absurd, the climax happens, and I couldn't have asked for anything better.</div>
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Trailer:</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqcZtz8VXXE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqcZtz8VXXE</a></div>
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4. <b>TIE: <i>Blade Runner 2049</i></b> and <b>Black Mirror Episode - <i>USS CALLISTER</i></b><br />
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<i><b>Blade Runner 2049 ****1/2:</b></i><br />
I have no clue how a movie like this got a massive $150 million budget. When the studio read the script, someone must have said, "Mainstream audiences are going to hate this!" Someone had to know this movie was going to lose money. But, I'm grateful at the studio's lack of business sense, because we truly got a movie that's the best of both worlds: An arthouse script with a mainstream budget. Let's get one thing straight, this movie wouldn't have been nearly as good with the budget of Deus Ex Machina, Primer, or The Fountain. It's $150 million was truly put to amazing use, and just an absolutely jaw droppingly stunning, beautiful movie to look from the breathtaking sets to the best visual effects of any movie this year.<br />
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Listen, I understand how huge the original Blade Runner was back in the day, how influential it was, bla bla bla. But, watching these back to back now, no fucking contest, 2049 is such an inspired sequel and far superior to the original. Ryan Gosling makes for a better protagonist, where every single discovery he makes and every twist he encounters, you feel his confusion, but most importantly his pain. I love the story, I love how unpredictable it is, and when I thought I knew where it was going, it surprised me by delivering something far smarter. This is kind of like an AI existentialism movie. At what point do we value an AI's rights as much as ours? If they are built by us, but are conscious beings with actual emotions, are not as human as we are?<br />
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It's intriguing, it's beautiful, its set pieces are amazing. I heard a lot of people complain about the close to 3 hour runtime. Despite how long it is, I didn't feel bored for a single minute and I wouldn't lose any of that movie.<br />
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<b>Black Mirror - <i>USS Callister ****1/2</i></b><br />
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Yes, this is a Black Mirror episode. Technically speaking this is show, not a movie, but damnit it's 72 minutes long which is a movie length, and really does stand on its own as a self contained movie. Viewers can watch this as its own story having no knowledge of Black Mirror or having seen any other episode. Therefore, I'm counting it.<br />
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In a year that gave us some very entertaining space operas like The Last Jedi and Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2, leave it to Black Mirror to deliver a space opera/sci-fi that may not have the budgets of those movies, but boy did it deliver something 10X more intense, with one of the most interesting ideas for a villain, and bit of an existential mindfuck too, when you really put deep thought into the characters' journey.<br />
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I love how it starts coming off as a spoof of a really cheesy Star Trek wannabe. Then, we see reality and find out that this cheesy space opera is a virtual reality game, and that the main character escapes here to escape the harsh reality of life. Then the story gets a whole fucking lot darker, and it almost feels like Charlie Kaufman was asked to write a Star Trek type script and was given 100% creative freedom and we got this dark, intense, creative and original as fuck, thought provoking mindfuck. It's every bit as edge of your seat entertaining as it is thought provoking. I don't know why I'm not giving this 5 stars. Maybe one of the solutions at the end is not 100% believable. I don't know. I can't get myself to rank this higher than Blade Runner, even though down the road, I may hold this in higher regard. But, this is easily my favorite Black mirror episode, and I'll take this any day over any space opera out there.<br />
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<b>3. Imax - Dream Big: Engineering Our World *****</b><br />
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I am a huge fan of going to the Ontario Science Centre for 40 minute Imax documentaries for its breathtaking cinematography, but from a pure storytelling standpoint I think DREAM BIG may be the best of them all. It's not only the most inspirational Imax movie of all time, but it's easily the most inspirational movie of any movie in the top 10. To all the dreamers out there, regardless of whatever industry you're chasing, watch this movie! You may have shed a few tears here and there too. </div>
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It's a great celebration of smart engineering ideas that have changed the way we live our lives, saved lives, and solved massive worldwide problems. The ideas they present are absolutely fucking brilliant and at times mind blowing. This will give you a sense of awe at the ingenuity, and creativity of engineers.<br />
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This also tugs at the heart strings, as it tells very human stories as well about ambitious engineers, of varying ages and varying dreams. The most touching stories were the bridge building in Cairo and the highschool robotics team competing against the top colleges. I took my dad to see it and he observed that every single story in this documentary really could have been their own full length documentary movies. Agreed, but all the stories are equally fascinating.<br />
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DREAM BIG should be required viewing for science classes in elementary school, highschool, hell, show the movie to first year engineering students in college. This is a movie that will fire people up about science and we need young minds to feel inspired to change the world, because there's going to be a shitload more problems in the future; but first they have to dare to dream big. Yeah I know, that was cheesy, fuck off. </div>
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Trailer:</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huVNsT8BIM8">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huVNsT8BIM8</a></div>
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<b>2. Coco *****</b><br />
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Of all movies, none transcended my expectations like this one. I thought Pixar's best days were in the past. I am so happy to be wrong. I think I'll rank this as the 3rd best Pixar movie behind Nemo and Incredibles.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">40 minutes in, I felt like I was watching yet another Pixar B movie; a kid ends up in the land of the dead and can talk to and see dead people; we've seen this done better in ParaNorman. Then the movie introduces a new plot point that i</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">s a complete game changer. All of a sudden it goes from an adventure movie to something really profound. Then at some point I'm like, "Ha, I saw that coming. So predictable" and shortly after my smart ass thought, the movie hit me a new plot twist that was completely unpredictable and shut down my smug mind. </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">And then the final unpredictable thing happened...as the credits rolled, I sat there and I cried through the entire end credits. Don't get me wrong, I heard a lot of crying in the theatre, but I don't think anyone was hit as hard as I was. I did not expect most powerful fucking drama of the year from fucking COCO. Don't get me wrong, it's a fun adventure movie, but it ends up being so much deeper than what you would expect from it; a meditation of life and death and the legacies we leave behind long after we're gone. Toy Story 3 has one of the most tear jerking endings, and the opening of UP is also loved, but COCO has its one key dramatic moment at the end that might be Pixar's best. If you claim that one scene didn't bring you to tears, you're full of shit!! </span><br />
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1. The Big Sick *****</b><br />
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I knew when I saw this movie it was going to be my #1 pick, though Coco did give me 2nd thoughts briefly. Is not "just another Judd Apatow" movie. Yes, it was produced by him and it may share a similar raunchy sense of humour, and it's another movie with stand up comedians, but this is the first Apatow movie that deserves a best picture Oscar. Interestingly, I didn't even know it was based on a true story when I went in, but what a story. Often painful experiences make for the best art, and comedy is our medicine to get through the worst shit in life.<br />
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How fucked must it be to break up with a girl, then find out soon after that she's in the hospital in a medically induced coma. And it's beautiful how it's the time he spends with her parents, as they share each other's pain and anxiety where a true friendship forms, and he realizes how dumb he was to let her go. As good as the movie is as a romance and as electric as the chemistry is between Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan, the true heart of the movie is the friendship he forms with her parents while she's in a coma, played by Ray Romano and Holly Hunter who both deserve supporting Oscars. Their characters are given plenty of depth, with their fair share of flaws and marital problems.<br />
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Big Sick is just so good at making you feel empathy for the situation. Every piece of bad news the hospital gave, I felt as devastated as the characters on screen, and when Holly Hunter's character contemplates moving her to another hospital, it's powerful stuff when Kumail screams at the father for being weak and not standing up to his wife. As bad as her decision seems, it's love, and sometimes we just never know what's the right thing to do.<br />
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Then you also have Kumail Nanjiani's family, their constant attempts to set him up with a Pakistani girl, and all the lies he tells his parents to keep them happy. I've always been fascinated by stories about culture clashes between generations, the traditional parents vs. the Westernized kids and trying to find a middle ground. But, his parents are very set in their ways, and just yet another obstacle this romance must break through.<br />
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The Big Sick just works on every level. I laughed a lot, I cried a lot, and I just fell in love with all the characters; I think it's the finest ensemble cast, and hell, they even got Bo Burnham in there. I would call it the best romance since <i>Before Midnight</i>, but it's also so much more than just a romance.<br />
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<b><u>Other Various awards from I:</u></b><br />
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<b>Trippiest movie of the year & Best use of 3-D: </b></div>
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The Great Wall in Imax 3D. </div>
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The battle scenes were like Lord of the Rings with House of Flying Daggers colour palette. People were too harsh on this movie. It was so visually stunning!</div>
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<b>Trippiest scene of the year:</b></div>
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Beauty and the Beast - Be our Guest musical number in Imax 3-D. Ooooh my god, what a spectacle this scene was. It took the animated version and multiplied the epicness by 11.</div>
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<b>Best Cinematography:</b></div>
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Columbus </div>
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<b>Best Visual Effects:</b></div>
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Blade Runner 2049 </div>
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<b>Most Inspirational movie:</b></div>
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Imax: Dream Big: Engineering our World</div>
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<b>Biggest Tear Jerker:</b></div>
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Coco. Holy shit! </div>
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<b>Shoot em Up Award for Most ridiculously awesomely absurd action scene:</b></div>
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John Wick: Chapter 2 - Keanu Reeves and Common trying to discreetly shoot each other in a crowded area. I laughed my ass off at the audacity of this scene.</div>
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<b>Most Memorable monologue:</b></div>
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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri - Frances McDormand tearing the priest a new asshole about who he associates himself with</div>
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<b>Best Ensemble Cast:</b></div>
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The Big Sick (I know it won't happen, but god damn it, all 4 leads deserve an Oscar nod. If I could only pick one, maybe Holly Hunter, but they're all so fucking good)</div>
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<b>Best Screenplay: </b></div>
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The Big Sick<br />
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<b>Best Social Commentary on Humanity:</b><br />
The Square</div>
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<b>Kudos for taking Unsuspecting people's money and shocking the living shit out of them:</b><br />
Mother! (Seriously, kudos to Paramount for releasing THAT nationwide in over 3000 theatres. I don't blame the mainstream audience for detesting the movie. I'm glad Paramount did it though. Take the mainstream crowd out of their comfort zone every once in a while. I wish I could have been in a theatre to hear the gasping, unsuspecting crowd having no clue a Jennifer Lawrence movie would be this fucked up)<br />
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The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-70417353212163126802017-06-21T19:27:00.002-07:002017-07-13T15:35:36.971-07:00Top 10 best movies of the first half of 2017...<div>
I'll refrain from saying too much and just get to the list. There are quite a few obscure movies on my list, so I've included trailers for the lesser known movies.</div>
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It should be noted that my #7 and #1 pick are actually movies I saw at TIFF last year, but I chose to refrain from adding it my 2016 list, because they never got a theatrical release in 2016. Now that both #7 and #1 got actual theatrical releases in 2017, they're now on my list.</div>
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Honorable Mentions:</div>
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Hidden Figures, Kong: Skull Island, Logan, Beauty and the beast, Hush, Catfight, Guardians of the Galaxy 2</div>
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Now for the rest of the list, and I guess I better defend my #10 pick since it got A LOT of hate.</div>
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10. <i><b>The Great Wall</b></i> ****</div>
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Yes I know, it's yet another movie where a white guy saves the day. Yes, the movie isn't all that smart, and for people who are big fans of Yimou Zhang, this movie lacks the depth of the House of Flying Daggers and Hero. But god damn it, this movie is a visual feast; especially in Imax 3D, it was the trippiest movie of the year so far with spectacular 3-D (and best use of shit flying out of the screen effects in a long time). It's like Lord of the Rings battle scenes with the gorgeous color pallette of House of Flying Daggers with The Great wall of China as a backdrop, awesome wire work, and Zhang Yimou even out-Michael Bays Michael Bay with absolutely over the top epic explosions, often exploding into your face in 3-D. Come on, people! The battle scenes absolutely fucking ruled, and the movie was gorgeous to look at. I have the feeling I may look back at this review and shake my head when I watch this movie sober on a regular TV. Oh well, time will tell.</div>
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9. <i><b>Heel Kick</b></i> ****</div>
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To the die hard wrestling fans, this movie is an absolute must see. To the non-wrestling fans who love a good low brow sense of humor, give Heel Kick a chance; wrestling knowledge isn't required to laugh, but the smarks will appreciate it just a little more. Not only is this easily the funniest wrestling movie ever made, but it's also the funniest mockumentary in the past few years.</div>
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I'm sure most wrestling fans will agree that most wrestling movies suck; especially comedies. In fact, I'm hard pressed to think of one good wrestling comedy. Leave it to a low budget Canadian film to finally break that curse, with knowledge of the industry that doesn't insult the audience's intelligence, great performances and improv that feel so natural (to the main actor's credit, I had a beer with him after and he is absolutely nothing like the character he plays), and even a nice coming of age story for characters that seem redeemable. The ending is actually quite uplifting.</div>
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It's not an easy movie to find. Film festivals were too pretentious to accept a wrestling movie, they've toured it around U.S and Canada and I think it'll get an online release. I'll just say follow their facebook page and hopefully it'll get a release soon. I will very gladly watch this again.</div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/heelkickmovie/">https://www.facebook.com/heelkickmovie/ </a></div>
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Trailer:</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-M3bW-E5WE&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-M3bW-E5WE&t</a></div>
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8. <b><i>John Wick: Chapter 2</i></b> ****</div>
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A rare sequel that has one hell of a conundrum that has plagued my mind since seeing it...was this better or part 1? I still don't know. It's a question that can be deeply pondered, debated and may need repeat viewings of both to come up with a good answer. Unlike TAKEN, where that sequel seemed to forget what everyone loved so much about the original (PG 13 sequel? Get the fuck out!), John Wick 2 absolutely remembers and delivers everything that was so great about part 1, from the absolutely brutal violence (I'm hard pressed to find a movie with more point blank shots to the face than this one) to the quirky characters to some great dark comedy. While I preferred the simplicity and sillyness of part 1's plot, part 2 may have had the more memorable action sequences. The scene of Keanu Reeves and Common trying to discreetly kill each other in a very public area is one of the most absurd, but hilarious moments, and what a great, quirky feud they have. Another conundrum...is The Raid Redemption series better or John Wick? I think we need a part 3 of both to answer that question.</div>
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7. <b><i>My Entire Highschool sinking into the sea</i></b> ****</div>
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This was one of my favorite movies at TIFF. It's a very funny, creative, abstract, random and trippy as fuck animated movie. What struck me about it, you just get a sense of the director and animator having so much fun making it, throwing the rule book out the window, doing whatever the fuck they want. There's even a charm to some, "the director clearly couldn't give 2 shits how this scene was animated" scenes which lead to some of the biggest laughs, ie: the lunch lady bearing the shit out of a bunch of high schoolers, which looked like it was animated by a 12 year old. And talk about randomness, there is that one part where the director is clearly fascinated by a single dot on a page which leads to a psychedelic, fractal zoom deep into the dot, in the middle of a chaotic scene. </div>
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Beyond raving over the randomness and trippyness, its premise for a highschool sinking into the sea actually makes for a great metaphor for highschool itself and trying oh so hard to fit in. Remember back in the day when being popular was the most important thing? Here's a movie that captures that stupid teenage angst in a very zany, random as fuck way and it's one of the most unique highschool movies ever made.</div>
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Trailer:</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zepBuHGkiWc%C2%A0">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zepBuHGkiWc </a></div>
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6. <b><i>Wonder Woman</i></b> ****</div>
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I know a lot of people will pick LOGAN as best super hero movie of 2017, but I'm going with Wonder Woman, to which I went in skeptical about whether it could live up to all the hype, and walked out surprised as fuck at how much it actually exceeded all the hype. Wonder Woman's screenplay and performances are what elevate the movie to greatness; the action scenes are just the icing on the cake. </div>
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I hope Wonder Woman isn't just lazily labelled as a girl power movie. It's actually a thoughtful, profound look at human morality, and I like how Wonder Woman's power grows the deeper she understands both the bad and the good of humanity; of violence, greed and jealousy vs. love and selflessness. Wonder Woman is also surprisingly a great comedy for the first half, with not just great fish out of water comedy with Wonder Woman trying to act like a normal human being in London, but I'm hard pressed to find a duo this year with better comedic chemistry than Gal Gadot and Chris Pine (who delivers one of the best straight man performances in a while), and a relationship that grows into something far deeper later in the movie. Congrats to Patty Jenkins for one hell of a return to the big screen after Monster...it only took 14 years. </div>
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5. <b><i>My Life as a Zucchini</i></b> ****</div>
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I saw a critic label this French animated movie as a kids claymation version of SHORT TERM 12 to which I had to say, "If that's true, I'm 100% sold on this movie!" After seeing it, fuck yes that's accurate. It's not quite as poignant, but it's a kids movie; it shouldn't be. Both movies take place in a group home, with abandoned, damaged children and the caretakers who pour their hearts out to take care of them.</div>
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This is the most powerful movie I've seen this year, and to be able to get that type of emotion out of the audience using clay figures is a fucking accomplishment.</div>
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I really am curious if parents were taking their kids out to this movie in France, because this is really heavy dramatic stuff for children to handle. It's charming and funny, but raw, and honest about the emotional scars children carry. Most importantly, it's a celebration of love in its many forms, in a group home where abandoned children feel like no one out there loves them. </div>
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Trailer:</div>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nRwYWVxjRU</div>
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4. <b><i>The Devil's Candy</i></b> ****1/2</div>
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The Devil's Candy is the best horror movie of the past 2 years. It may not be a purely scary horror movie, but it's directed with such creativity and originality. How often do we get an artsy horror movie, let alone a heavy metal horror? We've seen many haunted house horrors, but none like this. I love the concept of an artist getting haunted through his paintings, where a demonic force takes over his mind, making him paint really fucked up shit. </div>
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Beyond the artsyness, the movie is intense as fuck. It's not just a haunted house horror, but also a slasher movie with one hell of an unforgettable villain. The scene with the daughter duct taped in the bathroom is one of the most suspenseful scenes in recent memory. Give us something original, and give us characters that are well developed, that we actually give a shit about, and the suspense will work. If there's one knock against the movie, maybe the director doesn't understand how fire works, or simply didn't give a shit...ah fuck it, that scene still ruled. </div>
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3. <b><i>I Don't Feel at Home in this World Anymore</i></b> ****1/2</div>
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What a nihilistic, misanthropic, but fucking hilarious, shocking movie. It starts with a character who's had steaming piles of shit thrown at her life non-stop. She just wishes that people can stop being assholes. Then people break in and steal her shit, and that's the last straw. What takes place from there is a brutally violent dark comedy that would make the Coen Brothers proud. One critic described it as Blood Simple meets The 3 Stooges; I think that's accurate.</div>
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I don't have too much else to say. I never knew where the movie was going, and it just never fails to be unpredictable, and to surprise and it holy shit does it build up to shocking, goofy, quirky, dark comedy at its best. You still take everything seriously, despite how silly certain things are and that's the mark of an accomplished dark comedy.</div>
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Trailer:</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WBV7q_1DgQ&t">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WBV7q_1DgQ&t</a></div>
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2. <b><i>Dream Big: Engineering Our World</i></b> (IMAX DOCUMENTARY) ****1/2</div>
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I am a huge fan of going to the Ontario Science Centre for 40 minute Imax documentaries for its breathtaking cinematography which this movie has plenty of, but from a pure storytelling standpoint I think DREAM BIG may be the best of them all. It is by far the most inspirational Imax movie of all time and surprisingly very touching. </div>
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It's a great celebration of smart engineering ideas that have changed the way we live our lives, saved lives, and solved massive worldwide problems. The ideas they present are absolutely fucking brililiant and at times mind blowing. This will give you a sense of awe at the ingenuity, and creativity of engineers. It's not only educational, but it tells very human stories as well about ambitious engineers, of varying ages and varying dreams. The most touching stories were the bridge building in Cairo and the highschool robotics team competing against the top colleges. </div>
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DREAM BIG should be required viewing for science classes in elementary school, highschool, hell, show the movie to first year engineering students in college. This is a movie that will fire people up about science and we need young minds to feel inspired to change the world, because there's going to be a shitload more problems in the future; but first they have to dare to dream big. Yeah I know, that was cheesy, fuck off. </div>
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Trailer:</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huVNsT8BIM8">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huVNsT8BIM8</a></div>
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1. Colossal ****1/2</div>
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This was definitely my favorite movie at TIFF. My pick for #1 is actually the most absurd movie of the year and really requires a suspension of disbelief. If you cannot accept the movie's premise then it will be hard to get into. It was easy for me, because I admired the movie's audacity to pull off a premise like this. Absurdity + comedy + originality works for me, and if you're going to go absurd, go all the way and don't hold back.</div>
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This is the movie for people who utter that annoying phrase, "Everything's been done. There are no original ideas." That seemed to be the case for big creature movies. For those that seem to be getting bored of the big creature movies of the same CGI orgies of giant creatures destroying shit, along comes Colossal, a movie that's best described as Godzilla meets Being John Malkovich. Now that's a combination I never expected to see. Hell, maybe throw in a little Rachael Getting Married (though not nearly as depressing), as this is Anne Hatheway's best performance since that movie, and her character will remind you of her character from that movie.</div>
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Instead of summarizing the plot, just watch the trailer. As much as I've talked up the movie's absurdness and weirdness, it still is a good character study, showing the lives of small town people, not really going anywhere in their lives and their battles with alcoholism; Anne Hatheway gives an Oscar worthy performance, Jason Sudekis is great, and Tim Blake Nelson is so under-rated as an actor who is never not hilarious every time he's on screen, and he loves to play a dumb Hillbilly despite being one of the most profound directors. The emergence of the Godzilla monster, unknowingly controlled by Anne Hatheway can be seen as metaphor for alcoholism, but to me it's simply the funniest movie of the year. Even the fact that the CGI and visual effects are all for comedy is also a refreshing change from every big creature feature.</div>
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Earlier I said, if you're going to go absurd, then go all the way; just when you thought the movie couldn't be any more absurd, the climax happens, and I couldn't have asked for anything better.</div>
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Trailer:</div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqcZtz8VXXE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqcZtz8VXXE</a><br />
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The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-54227400676115741172017-01-15T20:16:00.002-08:002017-01-15T23:08:30.825-08:00Top 10 best movies of 2016...This is a solid fucking list; an interesting, unique list. God damn it, the majority of critics' list are the same shit, Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight and La La Land topping every list.<br />
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2016 was a really shitty year for humanity and the world, but the silver lining is that it was a phenomenal year for movies. This top 10 list is easily a better list of movies than last year, or the year before. Without further ado.<br />
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<b>Very special honorable mention:</b><br />
<i>Colossal</i>, a great movie I saw at TIFF which originally made my list. Since it's not getting a theatrical release till late 2017, I decided it'd be pointless to include it on my list if no one can see it. So, you'll be sure to see it on my 2017 list. It's definitely the weirdest, funniest, most original Godzilla type movie ever made.<br />
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<b>Honorable Mentions: </b><br />
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Deadpool, Train to Busan, Sleeping Giant, La La Land, Manchester by the Sea, Bad Moms, Other People, Jungle Book, Moonlight, Lights Out, The Shallows, Nerve, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Kubo and the Two Strings<br />
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10. <i>Captain Fantastic </i>****1/2<br />
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<i>Manchester by the Sea </i>is the dramedy that's been getting most of the acclaim, and while it is a great, darkly funny, and devastating movie about grief, Captain Fantastic holds similar qualities, but it's more memorable to me. It's a more original story, with more unique characters, and so interesting...oh shit, Viggo's character hates the word "interesting" when critiquing art.<br />
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This isn't typical "escapist entertainment", but I just loved spending time with this fascinating family, living in the wilderness away from civilization, with a father teaching his kids important survival skills, and teaching them to be profound, independent thinkers, and treating them like adults even at the earliest age. I could watch a whole fucking TV show that's just their lives in the wilderness, but they do eventually have to make the trip into civilization, where they try to relate to the city people, and it makes for some great comedy, some emotionally wrenching moments, and a good debate about parenting.<br />
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Captain Fantastic also has the performance of the year by Viggo Mortensen and the best cast of child actors of any movie, who play such challenging, and unconventional child roles. t's a movie that'll stay with you for a while. I definitely want to re-visit this movie soon.<br />
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9. <i>The Handmaiden</i> ****1/2<br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%;">There was a lot of hype at TIFF
over this movie, and wow it sure as hell lived up to the hype. Maybe I need to look
into more Chan-wook Park movies. If <i>Oldboy</i> was the most fucked up revenge movie
of all time, <i>Handmaiden</i> takes the cake as the most fucked up, erotic, con
artist/romance movie I can think of. What starts off like a simple story with a seemingly simple con, is full of twists to which I admit that every single twist got me. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">It tells a story with a 3 chapters
structure, often presenting the same moment, but unravelling new details and different vantage points, as the audience slowly pieces everything together, but getting tricked multiple times while trying to piece if all together. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">A friend of mine saw this at TIFF and sold me on this movie about awesome lesbian sex scenes. I saw it and texted her to tell her how much I loved the movie and she asked whether I still would have enjoyed the movie without the explicit lesbian sex. I'm like, "Fuck yeah. Even without it, it's a great movie and tells a great story, and it's kind of beautiful. But...the lesbian sex scenes are like the icing on the cake. They didn't really have to be there, well maybe they did, but they didn't need to be THAT explicit to almost porno territory, but it kind of made the movie even more awesome. </span></div>
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8. <i>Sing Street </i>****1/2<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">LA LA LAND is a great musical; it broke records at the Golden Globes, it won the people's choice award at TIFF, and don't be surprised if you see it win best picture at the Oscars. With that being said though, LA LA LAND was the 2nd best musical of the year. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">John Carney has created his own subgenre of "grounded in realism low budget musicals" which takes the cheesiness and contrivance of having characters break into musical numbers, and instead has the musical numbers come in completely realistic, low key ways. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">First he charmed audiences with ONCE, then there was BEGIN AGAIN, and now I think SING STREET is his best; a celebration of music and its transformative power in our lives. John Carney is especially fascinated with how music can bring 2 people together to form a truly special connection. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">No matter what bullshit is going on, we have music to get us through it, as a catharsis for our pain. Most of all, Sing Street is one hell of an inspirational movie reminding all artists to take whatever pain and bullshit that's going on in their lives and turn it into art, because why the fuck not? Pain and suffering can be the best inspiration. Just like John Carney's other movies, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Sing Street is the kind of movie that will make you want to hug the fuck out of anyone in sight after watching it.</span><br />
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7. <i>The Little Prince </i>****1/2<br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">By a landslide, the best animated movie of 2016. </span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Although it's a family movie and there's enough cool visuals to keep the kids entertained, I think adults will be far more moved by this than kids. It's a great coming of age story, a little girl who truly learns what it means to grow up, against her mother's vision of what it means to be a grown up. As the aviator says, "Growing up isn't the problem, forgetting is." </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Childhood is the period of our the world is a true wonder, how much of that are we losing we age? </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Little Prince kind of reminded me of Bridge to Terebithia in being movie directed at children that's bittersweet about dealing with loss, but ultimately what you get out of it. It also has a lot in common with my pick for #4, though this one is not quite as tear jerking. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Most of all though, it's a very entertaining movie, weird and abstract at times, with very well developed characters and although not hilarious, its sense of humor is clever when it's there. There would be no Oscar upset that would make me happier than to see Little Prince pull a shocking upset for best animated movie. The favorite to win is ZOOTOPIA, which I guess I'm kind of okay with; as long as it's not Finding Dory, fuck that mediocre bullshit! </span><br />
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6. <i>How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town </i>****1/2<br />
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This was a solid year for Canadian Cinema, but How to Plan an Orgy definitely takes the top spot as best Canadian movie of 2016, and the funniest raunchy sex comedy I've seen in a long long time. I'll call this the highest brow low brow sex comedy. There's a uniqueness to the gags, and everything about the awkwardness, inadequacies, and problems in the bedroom, including how no one can control their orgasm face which is captured with such hilarity and artistry. Let's not write this off as just low brow American Pie like trash. There actually is a lot of wit and intelligence to the dialogue writing as well.<br />
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I really enjoyed the ensemble approach, highlighting that all the characters have something different or a different motivation to get out of the orgy. But what surprised me is that despite how absurd the premise of the movie is, when the comedy dies down for some drama which usually fails in just about every raunchy comedy, it actually works in this one. I'm impressed that a movie called How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town has surprisingly very good character development, with the most beautiful and poetic ending imaginable.<br />
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5.<i> Mei Ren Yu (The Mermaid) </i>****1/2<br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">This is the #1 highest grossing movie of all time in China, and well deserved!! </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">If you've seen Dances with Wolves, Avatar and Pocahontas, you'll definitely recognize the exact same structure this movie will go through, but this one takes a much wackier, comedic approach, while still delivering social commentary about human greed and how badly we're fucking up the environment. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It's kind of like a Chinese Avatar meets a Chinese Monty Python though I take The Mermaid over Avatar, Wolves and Pocahontas any day. It pulls everything off in a brisk 90 minutes, and my god is this movie funny! You don't need to be Chinese to appreciate the humor; there's a uniqueness to its sense of humor that's sorely lacking in Hollywood comedies. Hollywood comedies rely a lot more on pure dialogue humor nowadays, and there's just something so much more creative about this movie's comedy. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It's very goofy, but clever in its goofiness and has its fair share of physical comedy as well as some great dialogue writing. </span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">There's a scene of a billionaire that walks into a police station to report that he'd been abducted by mermaids. I don't know how much of this scene was improvised, but holy shit, funniest scene of the year! When this scene began, I knew it'd be funny, but it just absolutely blew my expectations away. This scene should be studied by all comedy directors. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">So, the CGI is a little cheesy, but there's a charm to it and a sense of filmmakers being very aware of how cheesy it looks, and just having fun with it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">To my fellow Chinese people, you absolutely must watch this movie!! For the non-Chinese who's bored of the same shit from Hollywood and want something different, give this a try! There is no other comedy movie like it. </span></span><br />
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4. <i>A Monster Calls</i> ****1/2<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I think all movie theatres that play A MONSTER CALLS need to give out packets of tissues with the purchase a ticket and maybe free counseling too (okay maybe the latter is an exaggeration...or maybe not!) I think it's without a doubt the heaviest drama I've seen in a long time, and I'm surprised that a dark fairy tale could have so much more of an emotional resonance than most actual dramas. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">You may need to sit there till the credits are finished rolling to fully compose yourself. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I hope I don't make it sound li</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">ke an all out depressing movie; it's a beautiful movie that very maturely deals with grief, and coming to terms with loss, confronting pain, and the psychology and conflicting emotions of seeing a loved one fight for their life. I almost think that if you've lost very close loved ones, this movie may even be therapeutic. It uses a giant tree monster (and a very inspired casting choice to go with Liam Neeson to voice the monster) as a metaphorical device, as he shows up to try to help the child come to terms with his mom's cancer and help unleash the monster inside of him instead of holding all the pain and sadness inside. </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">With that said, it goes about it in a very entertaining with some very impressive visual effects, and directed with great style, including some brilliant water color animations that are used when the monster tells stories to the child. There's a nice light comedic chemistry between the boy and the monster. I've never heard of Lewis MacDougall, but best child performance I've seen in a long time. You may feel emotionally drained by the end of the movie, but it's worth it, damnit! </span><br />
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3. <i>Maggie's Plan </i>****1/2<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I love going into a movie with mediocre expectations and being absolutely blown away. MAGGIE'S PLAN is the best romantic comedy I've seen in a very long time. If I can give an award to the best dialogue writing, the wittiest one liners, this is it. The dialogue writing rivals Woody Allen in his prime. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It's been described as Woody Allen meets Noah Baumbach, but I think it beats any Woody Allen movie of the past (goes through Woody Allen's imdb) 20 years and sure beats any Noah Baumbach movie. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The movie has one of the most quirky, memorable love triangles, a very unique premise, and has such fun, interesting, eccentric, messy characte</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">rs. It's a hilarious celebration of the messiness of love, and how perhaps it can be our flaws that connect us together. Greta Gerwig, Ethan Hawke and Julianne Moore all have great comedic chemistry with each other and are all so good in their own ways, it's hard to pick the best of the 3. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This is not a movie I can recommend to everyone. It definitely requires a level of nerdiness to appreciate a lot of the humor, and the more english and literature you've studied in college, the more you'll get out of it, as it has a lot of fun with taking the piss out of the pretentiousness of academia, and high art culture which are not targetted enough in comedies. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #444444;">2. <i>Eye in the Sky </i>****1/2</span><br />
<br />
Eye in the Sky is the best political thriller I've seen in a long time; it's almost like a war movie stage play. It is absolutely fucking intense and suspenseful from beginning to end. It's a morally challenging movie that can be debated well after the credits roll. There is no easy answer to the dilemma. You have the most dangerous terrorists you can take out with a drone attack, but you also have an innocent little child nearby who is very likely to die from the attack. What is the right thing to do? Is killing a child justified if it results in saving the lives of many from a future attack? <br />
<br />
We hear about drone strikes in the news all the time, but we still know very little about it. Eye in the Sky is fascinating at shedding a light on everyone involved in drone strikes, from the military to the politicians to the drone pilots themselves and the psychological mindfuckery that comes with their jobs and of course the most unfortunate thing about the drone strikes: the innocent victims that are in the wrong place at the wrong time. It also looks at the political and propaganda ramifications of drone strikes. This movie is uncompromising, unforgettable, and at times disturbing.<br />
<br />
It also includes the best performance from Helen Mirren in a very long time, and a great final performance by Alan Rickman.<br />
<br />
1. <i>Doctor Strange </i>*****<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Hoooly shit!! was the thought that popped in my head, over and over and over again through-out the entirety of Doctor Strange. I kept thinking, "If the movie stays this awesome, it'll be the #1 movie of the year. Please stay this awesome." And you know what? The movie got even awesomer, and awesomer, here it is, not only taking #1 by a fucking landslide, but I think it even makes my top 10 best movies of all time. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">My mind is still blown by this turn of events. Never in all my days post-getting a degree in film studies and becoming a huge film nerd/snob (I'd like to think I've become much less a film snob over the years), and repeating the whole, "Go indy films! Fuck mainstream Hollywood movies!" rants over and over at bars, to family members, to other film snobs, on messageboards, on facebook...never did I ever predict that one day I'd be putting a fucking Marvel comic book movie as my #1 movie of the year. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Here's the thing. I still believe that creativity, imagination, surrealness, being out there; those are qualities more often associated with independent films; DOCTOR STRANGE shows that when you take those exact qualities and give it a huge budget, then holy shit nothing compares. </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">DOCTOR STRANGE is the most visually dazzling movie in...the forever. It has the most impressive visual effects I've seen in such a long time. Every time you see an awesome action scene, it ends up getting topped by the next one, and then the next action scene tops that one, and you can never predict just how wacky, offbeat, batshit crazy, insane and psychedellic the action scenes can get. The movie plays around with time manipulation, bending space, and when INCEPTION teased at the whole folding a city, but doing nothing with that, here's DOCTOR STRANGE bending space and delivering the most insane action scene. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I've been splooging all over the visuals, but let's not write this off as a leave your brain at the door movie. The screenplay is every bit as good as its visual effects and that says a lot. It's every bit as mind blowing as it is trippy as fuck. The movie is fucking hilarious with far more intelligent dialogue writing than you'd expect from a Marvel movie, delivered by such amazing A-list actors; I'd give a fucking Oscar nomination to Benedict Cumberbach, who puts on the best performance, the best character arc, and funniest person ever in a Marvel movie. Hell, even the first 40 minutes of Doctor Strange, showing his car accident and his long road to recovery is a solid fucking drama. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
I don't have too much more to say than that. I think I've done plenty of splooging on this movie. It's not just another blockbuster popcorn movie. <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This is escapist entertainment at its best, done with so much creativity and energy. </span><br />
<br />
<b>Other Special awards:</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Trippiest movie of the year: </b><br />
<i>Doctor Strange</i><br />
Special honorable mentions: <i>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them</i>, and <i>Trolls</i><br />
<br />
<b>Best Use of 3-D in a movie:</b><br />
<i>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them</i><br />
<b><br />Best visual effects:</b><br />
<i>Doctor Strange</i>, by a landslide.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Horror movie of the year:</b><br />
<i>Lights Out</i><br />
<br />
<b>Most memorable performance of the year:</b><br />
<i>Viggo Mortensen </i>in Captain Fantastic<br />
<br />
<b>Funniest scenes of the year:</b><br />
-<i>The Mermaid - </i>Billionaire goes to the police station to report being abducted by mermaids<br />
<i>-Bad Moms - </i>Kathryn Han explains to Mila Kunis how to handle uncircumcized penises, using the hoodie that Kristen Bell is wearing as a demonstration for handling foreskin. Kristen Bell stays silent the whole scene, but steals it with one line of dialogue.<br />
-<i>The Handmaiden - </i>The hanging scene...I won't give anymore away, but great dark comedy!<br />
<br />
<b>Best Ending:</b><br />
<i>How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town</i><br />
<i><br /></i>The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-76700979528016378542016-11-07T13:33:00.003-08:002016-11-07T13:48:14.038-08:00In Fear of a worldwide Trump Dump - a shit filled metaphored blog about a shit-show election...<div class="MsoNormal">
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<br />
I will coin the term of “The Trump Dump” which I define as
the very moment that billions of people all around the world simultaneously
shit their pants and I mean that literally (though figurative too), when Trump
is announced as the new president. Have you shit yourself before conversations
would be like:</div>
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<br />
“Have you shit your pants before?”<br />
“Yeah”<br />
“What? You’ve shit in your pants?!
Haha!! I’m telling everyone!” <br />
“Yeah! When Donald Trump became
president.”<br />
“Oh right. Come to think of it, so did
I.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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And seeing how Trump doesn’t believe in climate change,
wants to withdraw from the Paris Climate Deal, abolish the EPA and likely
appoint a new Supreme Court judge that probably thinks climate change is a
hoax, Mother Nature is likely shitting her pants too!...this time figuratively
speaking. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If it hasn’t been stated enough, my butt cheeks are in a
constant state of clenched togetherness (I know this is bad English, but if a
presidential candidate can use words like “Bigly”, then I think I get a pass to
say clenched togetherness). I can’t ever
remember an election where the potential result is actually the most terrifying
thing to happen to the entire world.
Even when George W. Bush beat John Kerry, my reaction to that was just
an, “Aw shucks!” This is another fucking
level of scary. It says something when
even George W. actually comes off relatively smart and sane in comparison to Trump or the entire Republican party today. “Don’t mis-underestimate me” or “Fool me
once, shame on you. Fool me twice…you
ain’t gonna fool me again!” doesn’t come off all that dumb anymore. Trump has raised the bar. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Yes, I know that Hillary is not that great of a choice, I
know. Bernie would have been so fucking
amazing and maybe the coolest politician ever, but we’ve got Hillary and she’s
the only person standing in the way of a candidate that gives the KKK wet
dreams; a candidate who's rallies not only resemble KKK rallies, but Nazi ones too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And I’m getting tired of seeing Susan Sarandon with her,
“Oh, Hillary Clinton would be just as bad as Donald Trump”, oh shut the fuck up Susan
Sarandon! It’s not even close. Bernie Sanders himself is telling everyone to
vote Hillary, and a shitload of his ideas are in the current Democratic
platform; he even says he agrees with 80% of what’s in the Democratic platform
and he holds that blue book with pride. You
seriously think Trump will enforce any of Bernie’s ideas? <o:p></o:p></div>
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This election is like, you have a menu and you only have two
choices: a $2 steak or a turd sandwich? That one’s an easy choice, right? Or choosing Hillary over Donald is like…
choosing a punch to the face over getting a baseball bat wrapped in barbed
wires to the balls. Or it’s like choosing
to be in the same elevator as Chris Christie as he rips silent deadly farts
over Chris Christie actually pinning you down and farting in your mouth. Or like, you’re looking for a new roommate
and you only have two choices: a former best friend who slept with your
girlfriend, or Satan; the choice in all these hypothetical are easy ones,
right? I don’t consider my analogies to
be hyperbolic at all. I stand by my
analogies and I’m very very proud of them!
In fact, no one comes up with better analogies than me! It's especially better than Bill Maher's shitty "Order the chicken" analogy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t remember when, but I came to an epiphany that
there’s one fictional character that is totally Donald Trump, and that is Eric
Cartman in South Park. I was happy with what
I thought was an original thought, but then I googled “Eric Cartman is Donald
Trump” and found that many bloggers made that same observation. In fact, I won’t even try to write a better
blog comparing the two, because this writer has done a phenomenal job:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://www.uloop.com/news/view.php/193239/Why-Donald-Trump-Reminds-Me-of-Eric-Cartman">https://www.uloop.com/news/view.php/193239/Why-Donald-Trump-Reminds-Me-of-Eric-Cartman</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ll just make reference to one South Park episode and that
one is Cartmanland. In that episode Eric
Cartman inherits his grandmother’s money $1 million, and ends up deciding to
buy a failing amusement park. When the
previous owner warns him that business is bad, Cartman is like, “That’s
okay. The amusement park is just for my
enjoyment, that’s it.” First he changes
the name of the amusement park to Cartmanland, and the joy of getting to enjoy
everything all to himself brings him to tears.
Soon, he makes commercials advertising Cartmanland, gloating about the
fact that the only person that can get into Cartmanland is him, and nobody else
is invited. But, when the amusement park
starts costing him a lot of money, he reluctantly agrees to let a limited number
of people in the park to pay the costs.
When the costs get even bigger and he’s forced to allow anyone in, he’s
miserable and wants to give up owning the amusement park. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Trump will be like a little kid acquiring an amusement
park. I believe the sole reason why
Trump wants to be president, is to make life as awesome as possible for himself
with all this new found power. He will constantly
test the limits of all the shit he can get away with doing, having the most
powerful job in the world. He will be
like a kid who’s spent his whole life playing kiddy Nintendo games, discovering
Grand Theft Auto for the first time, utterly fascinated by endless array of
horrible, crazy shit you can do. Instead
of only spending $20,000 of Trump Foundation money on a portrait of himself, he
could now have endless taxpayers money at his disposal, for the Statue of
Trump, made of bronze with his hair made out of gold. Putting a giant gold TRUMP on top of the
white house, I wouldn’t put that past him.
He can have the most powerful military that can do whatever he tells
them to do. Hey, let’s just bomb the
shit out of this country, because that’ll be fun, Secretary of State, come up with
a bullshit reason we’re bombing them. He could probably ask for the NSA’s help in
winning twitter wars. “NSA, dig up
information on this WesAndersonFan69 who keeps calling me a midget handed monkey
fucker. I want to remind this WesAndersonFan69
that I have access to drones.” Do I have
to remind everyone that he’s asked a foreign policy expert 3 times why they can’t
use nukes if they have them, because ya know…it’s a waste of nukes to not use
them? </div>
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The man is obsessed with his power and fame. I’m sure he gets a hard on every time he
fires someone. He bragged to Howard
Stern about being able to walk into women’s changerooms, might I add this
includes changerooms of TEENAGE girls.
Of course the infamous Pussygate is once again, gloating about power and
fame. “I can get away with sexual
assault, because I’m rich and powerful.” His new form of gloating will be, "My God, as president I got away with doing so and so..." fill in the blanks, I'm afraid to speculate.</div>
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It’s appropriate to use children in these analogies, because
Trump is a man child. He’s a spoiled
child already living an extremely privileged life who throws a hissyfit when
anything doesn’t go his way. Any time
something doesn’t go his way, the system is rigged against him, because who
faces more repression than a white billionaire? I'm behind in the polls? The election is rigged. I'll accept the results...if I win! What more proof is there that he's a man child? I think the funniest example just happened yesterday...</div>
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I was wondering why Trump was so quiet on twitter, and it turns out that his campaign took away his
twitter account, because he couldn’t stop himself from getting into childish
twitter wars. Isn't that an absolute fucking joke for a guy who's running for fucking president?!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Finally though, I want to address this idea that all of a
sudden, Trump will be a savior of the middle class, fighting for their rights,
making America great, running the country like he runs his business. Just look at
his history as a business man, can you name one philanthropic thing he’s done
to better society? Have you heard any
stories about the things that Trump has done to better the lives of his
employees? And no, donating to the Veterans after lying about it, being exposed for your lies, and then donating after people found out your lies doesn't count. Now if he has a history of
being involved in thousands of lawsuits, scamming people on a mass scale with
Trump University, and a reputation of not paying his contractors, wanting to
fire women who work at his golf course because they’re unattractive, spending
Trump Foundation money on settling lawsuits and a $20,000 portrait of himself…</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What
the fuck makes you believe he will all of a sudden transform into this kind,
caring man that will fight for the middle class, when he never bothered to do
so, when he had fuckloads of money and the resources to do so? Even the website
pornhub has a far better philanthropy record than Trump, and I would trust the owner of that site over Trump anyday for president. Seriously, the dude uses his website and people hornyness to raise money for different causes, it's actually kind of funny, but cool he does that.</span></div>
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Any South Park fan would be terrified with Eric Cartman as president. Well with Donald Trump, we’re
not that far off. We have an actual
adult in Hillary Clinton vs. a spoiled man child. To end off this blog, I want to re-post this video, because nothing demonstrates the childish, spoiled, thin skinned nature of who Trump truly is more than this. The most ridiculous lawsuit filed of all time, was filed by Trump. I challenge ANYBODY to tell me a lawsuit more ridiculous than this one. It's a 5 minute video.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIwmGoFNBMI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIwmGoFNBMI</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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That's all I have to say about this. I was stoned and drunk when I wrote a lot of it, because...this is one crazy, scary ass shit show of an election. If Hillary wins, I'm ready to celebrate like a motherfucker. Honestly, there's nothing I want more in life right now than for Trump to not be president. If a genie offered me $1 million or a 100% guarantee that Trump doesn't win, I'll take the latter. That's how fucking terrified I am of a Trump presidency.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.thechingofcomedy.com/">Click here to go back to The Ching of Comedy</a></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-66709164592276760722016-07-27T08:55:00.004-07:002016-07-27T08:55:49.566-07:00Top 10 best movies of the first half of 2016...<div class="MsoNormal">
It's been a very solid year so far. The most notable thing is, what a year for Canadian cinema so far!! 3 movies on my top 10 list come from Canada, including my pick for #2.<br />
<br />
Like usual, I have my top 10, honorable mentions, and instead of picking worst movie of the year, I've decided to go with "Meh movie of the year", which I give to a movie that really should have been so much better than a "meh". It's also because of its 95% at rottentomatoes. That is ridiculous.<br />
<br />
I have a bigger bone to pick with this movie than the worst movie of the year which was The Brothers Grimsby, but like...it got shat on by the critics, it did horribly at the box office, so I really don't have much more to say that hasn't been said already. Anyways...<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Honorable mentions:</b><br />
<br />
The Secret Life of Pets, Captain America: Civil War, 10 Cloverfield Lane, Embrace of the Serpent, The
Legend of Tarzan, Independence Day 2: Resurgence<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>10. The Nice Guys </b>**** (out of 5)<o:p></o:p></div>
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For those that loved Shane Black’s Kiss Kiss Bang Bang for
the great comedic chemistry between the two leads trying to solve a murder in a
convoluted plot (Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer) and its wickedly dark sense
of humor, you will love The Nice Guys for the exact same reasons. Shane Black has pretty much employed the same
formula, except with Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe (maybe the funniest duo so
far this year) trying to solve a mystery this time in the porn industry (though
this time a plot that’s easier to follow), and a wickedly dark sense of humor
that might be funnier than Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
When I think about it, The Nice Guys is better than Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,
so if you’ve seen the former, but not the latter, what are you motherfucking
waiting for, dipshit? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>9. My Internship in Canada </b>****<o:p></o:p></div>
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Flying Air Canada is pretty fucking terrible, and their
delays are appallingly preposterous.
Though if there is one good thing about this god awful airline, they do
offer a good selection of Canadian cinema, and on a much delayed flight back
home to Toronto from Vegas, I discovered this movie. A French Canadian movie about Canadian
politics seems like a sure-fire way to fall asleep on the plane, but 20 minutes
in, I was hooked. It’s very funny, and
surprisingly very fascinating movie about the bullshit, the scheming, back
stabbing and the dirtiness of Canadian politics. In fact, who knew that such a low key,
charming movie about Canadian politics would have one of the most unpredictable
twists that had my jaw drop wide open? I
was pissed at Air Canada for getting me home 5 hours later than I was supposed
to, but to discover this movie…it was worth it.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>8. Deadpool ****</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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While the makers of Kick Ass must be like, “What the
fuck? Why couldn’t that be us?”, very
happy to see an R rated super hero movie like Deadpool do so well at the box
office, and kudos to them for absolutely milking its R rating the way that
George Lucas milked the fuck out of Star Wars.
What else is there to say that hasn’t been said about Deadpool? What I loved most was the way that DEADPOOL
did not pull any punches whatsoever with its dark sense of humor, not giving a
shit about offending the PC police; absolutely nothing is taboo and I love
seeing that in a super hero movie. It’s
also refreshing to get a protagonist who’s a bit of a dick with questionable
morals, and the movie never tries to make him likable. Most of all though, I think one of the most
memorable movie relationships has to go to Deadpool and his friendship with the
blind woman which leads to some of the biggest laughs of the movie. I liked Cap. America, but Deadpool is by far
the super hero movie of the year. <o:p></o:p></div>
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7. <b>Sleeping Giant</b> ****<o:p></o:p></div>
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I saw this at the Canada top 10 film festival which included a Q & A with the director and main actor, and even one of the actor's grade 6 teachers showed up to the screening. That was cool.</div>
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I have to say that the thought of travelling to Northern Ontario never occurred to me until watching this movie. I loved this movie, and I almost want to travel to Northern Ontario to see all the key landmarks that were captured by this movie, especially Todd's Cliff. It may be an over-simplification to call this the STAND BY
ME of Canadian cinema, but I'll just go with that. </div>
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It's maybe the most beautiful looking movie I've seen this year, and shot with such a fresh, energetic style. Most of all though, it's great in its simplicity, a slice of life of one summer in Northern Ontario, and how it forever changes the lives of 3 teenagers. It feels so authentic and it was cool to learn that all 3 actors had little to no experience acting and were very much playing themselves. During the Q&A, the director talked about casting Nick Serino who showed up to the audition with this grandmother, and when he observed how funny the interactions were between them, he ended up asking the grandmother to be in the movie to play the kid's grandmother and for an old woman who's never acted, god damn she was good. All the performances feel so natural, and it never feels like anyone is "acting". It's simply and realistically observing life and you get completely lost in this world, from all the hilarity, the immature, delinquent shenanigans, to the profound disappointments, and hard lessons they learn about life. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>6. The Jungle Book </b>****</div>
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I hope you all got a chance to see this in Imax 3-D as that was definitely the best way to see it, and the most deserving movie of as big a screen as possible, to fully immerse yourself in the jungle. I am hard pressed to think of a better animated film to live action re-make than this one. They took a fun, but cheesy cartoon and turned it into a raw, intense as fuck movie with such an energetic style. It's a testament that a movie with talking animals with even a few musical numbers never came off cheesy. There's a lot of great voice acting, Bill Murray is a very inspired casting choice to play Baloo, but the best performance goes to Idris Elba who plays the tiger Shere Khan. I cannot think of any villain in any 2016 movie that was more menacing than Shere Khan. I don't have too much more to say about Jungle Book. I haven't met one person yet who didn't like it. </div>
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<b>5. Sing Street </b>****1/2<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">John Carney has created his own subgenre of "grounded in realism low budget musicals" which takes the cheesiness and contrivance of having characters break into musical numbers, and instead has the musical numbers come in completely realistic, low key ways. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">First he charmed audiences with ONCE, then there was BEGIN AGAIN, and now I think SING STREET might be his best. Sing Street is by far the most charming movie I've seen all year. Just like his previous movies, Sing Street is an absolute celebration of music and its transformative power in our lives. No matter what bullshit is going on in our lives, we have music to get us through it, music as an outlet and catharsis for our pain, and music as a way of connecting with other human beings. Most of all, Sing Street is one hell of an inspirational movie reminding all artists to take whatever pain and bullshit that's going on in their lives and turn it into art, because why the fuck not? Pain and suffering can be the best inspiration. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">In comparison to John Carney's other work, the music in this movie is not quite as good as Once, but as an overall movie I was far more moved by this movie. Sing Street is the kind of movie that will make you want to hug the fuck out of anyone in sight after watching it. Once again, it's the John Carney musical effect, because I felt the same way after Once and Begin Again. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b>4. The Little Prince </b>****1/2</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Not only is this the best animated movie of 2016 by a landslide, it's actually the most touching movie I've seen this year, and yes...the biggest tear jerker. It's a shame that the best animated movie of the year made the least money, and has been seen by the least amount of people. Shame on Paramount for dropping the movie like a bad habit. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Although it's a family movie and there's enough cool visuals to keep the kids entertained, I think adults will be far more moved by this than kids. It's a great coming of age story, a little girl who truly learns what it means to grow up, against her mother's vision of what it means to be a grown up. As the aviator says, "Growing up isn't the problem, forgetting is." Childhood is the period of our the world is a true wonder, how much of that are we losing we age? </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Little Prince kind of reminded me of Bridge to Terebithia in being movie directed at children that's bittersweet about dealing with loss, but ultimately what you get out of it. Most of all though, it's a very entertaining movie, weird at times, with very well developed characters and although not hilarious, its sense of humor is clever when it's there. There would be no Oscar upset that would make me happier than to see Little Prince pull a shocking upset for best animated movie over the incredibly over-rated, forgettable and generic Finding Dory. I think even a best adapted screenplay nomination should be in store for Little Prince. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b>3. Mei Ren Yu (The Mermaid)</b> ****1/2</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">This movie broke just about every box office record in China, and currently stands tall as the highest grossing movie of all time in China, and it is very well deserved. If you watched the trailer to this movie, you'd have no idea that's one of the funniest movies of the year, though the trailer unfortunately makes it look like a cheap Chinese Avatar wannabe. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">If you've seen Dances with Wolves, Avatar and Pocahontas, you'll definitely recognize the exact same structure this movie will go through. I'd say it's more like a Chinese Avatar meets a Chinese Monty Python. I take The Mermaid over the movies I mentioned above, it pulls everything off in a brisk 90 minutes, and my god is this movie funny! If you're a fan of comedy, give this movie a try, and you don't need to be Chinese to appreciate the humor; there's a uniqueness to its sense of humor that's sorely lacking in Hollywood comedies. It's very goofy, but clever in its goofiness and with its fair share of dark comedy. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">There's a scene of a billionaire that walks into a police station to report that he'd been abducted by mermaids. I knew at the start of the scene that they were going to deliver some big laughs, but it transcended my expectations and this is by far the funniest scene of the year. This scene should be studied by all comedy directors and all aspiring comedy directors. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">There's no doubt that the CGI of this movie are cheesy, but there's oddly a charm to it. At some point though, the laughs die down for the movie to deliver a very important message about how badly we're fucking up the environment and a condemnation of human greed. While it's not exactly subtle in the way it delivers its message, it's not overly heavy handed either. To my fellow Chinese people, you absolutely must watch this movie!! #1 movie of all time in China, come on, what are you waiting for? For the non-Chinese who's bored of the same shit from Hollywood and want something different, this is your movie! </span></span><br />
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2. <b>How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town</b> ****1/2</div>
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It was a tough call for "Funniest movie of the year" between this and my #3 pick, but I think I might give this a slight edge. 3 Canadian movies made my list, but this is the best movie from Canada this year, and the funniest raunchy sex comedy I've seen in a long long time; I'll call this the highest brow low brow sex comedy. There's a uniqueness to the gags, and everything about the awkwardness, inadequacies, and problems in the bedroom, including how no one can control their orgasm face is captured with such hilarity. Funniest appearance, there's a nerdy looking guy who looks like a skinnier Jason Segel, and oh my god does he steal the show! But, when it comes to the low key dialogue based humor, the dialogue writing is sharp and witty.<br />
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I really enjoyed the ensemble approach, highlighting that all the characters have something different or a different motivation to get out of the orgy. But what surprised me is that despite how absurd the premise of the movie is, when the comedy dies down for some drama which usually fails in just about every raunchy comedy, it actually works in this one. I'm impressed that a movie called How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town has surprisingly very good character development, might I add that I was very surprised at how beautiful and poetic of an ending it was. This is a movie that goes all the way with its raunchy gags, but has a lot of heart and is much smarter than you'd expect too.<br />
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1. <b>Eye in the Sky</b> ****1/2<br />
<br />
After walking out of this movie, I knew for a fact that it would be #1 on my half year list. It wouldn't surprise me if it ends up at #1 at my end of the year top 10 list either. Eye in the Sky is the best political thriller I've seen in a long time; it's almost like a war movie stage play. It is absolutely fucking intense from beginning to end. It's a morally challenging movie that can be debated well after the credits roll.<br />
<br />
We hear about drone strikes in the news all the time, but we still know very little about it. Eye in the Sky is fascinating at shedding a light on everyone involved in drone strikes, from the military to the politicians to the drone pilots themselves and the psychological mindfuckery that comes with their jobs and of course the most unfortunate thing about the drone strikes: the innocent victims that are in the wrong place at the wrong time. It also looks at the political and propaganda ramifications of drone strikes. This movie is uncompromising, challenging, and disturbing.<br />
<br />
Of all 2016 movies so far, this is the first true contender for best picture for the upcoming Oscars. It's the best work that Helen Mirren has done in a while, and what a great final performance for Alan Rickman.<br />
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<b>The Meh movie of 2016:</b><br />
Finding Dory **1/2<br />
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It's not that Finding Dory is a bad movie, because it's not. But, it's meh, and that is so fucking disappointing. We hold Pixar to higher standards due to their resume, it's the same director as Finding Nemo and Wall-E, it's the sequel to arguably one of the best animated movies ever made, there was an over 10 year gap between the movies...and this was the best they could do?! Unlike Toy Story 2 and 3 that truly felt like creatively motivated sequels, this sequel truly felt like an uninspired money grab. Finding Dory is completely generic. It does absolutely nothing new that wasn't done better in the original. There is not one moment in this movie that sticks out. There is not one memorable chase scene. The comedy writing is uninspired, once again...are there any quotable lines of dialogue or jokes that anyone can remember? When you hear lines like, "Holy carp!", you know the writers are desperate.<br />
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I bet anything that a year from now if I were to ask you about the movie, you'll forget most of what happened. The only things I'll remember about this movie are how utterly fucking irritating the speaking whale was (too bad, because that was many people's favorite joke from Nemo), and the incredibly heavy handed attempts at drama, with those cheesy ass flashbacks to Dory's past. My god did the director try so fucking hard to get tears from the audience.<br />
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If this was not a sequel to Nemo, and it wasn't made by Pixar, then I would be much more forgiving to this movie. For them to make a sequel to one of my all time favorite not just animated movies, but movies in general, I wish they had an inspired idea for why a sequel is necessary and this sequel was clearly not. But hey, it made Pixar a shitload of money, so bring on Cars 3 or 4 or which one are they at now? And Toy Story 4 (yes, let's make an additional sequel to the most perfect trilogy ending imaginable to part 3), and Inside Out 2, and why not make a Ratatouille 2 and Brave 2 while you're at it? How about Monsters Highschool? Then Monsters Elementary school? I didn't include Incredibles 2 in that rant, because I can actually see a lot of creative possibilities in that.<br />
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The Little Prince, Secret Life of Pets and Zootopia are far superior animated movies, and Pixar's supposed to be the best. <br />
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<b>Other Honorable awards worth mentioning:</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Trippiest movie of the year (best movie to see high):</b><br />
Independence Day: Resurgence<br />
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<b>Trippiest end credits:</b><br />
Warcraft<br />
<br />
<b>Best Use of 3-D:</b><br />
The Secret Life of Pets<br />
<br />
<b>Best action scene:</b><br />
Captain America: Civil War - Airport scene<br />
<br />
<b>Funniest movie:</b><br />
How to Start an Orgy in a Small Town<br />
<br />
<b>Tear Jerker of the year:</b><br />
The Little Prince<br />
<br />
<b>Performance of the year: </b><br />
I was originally gonna give it to a serious role, but fuck it...<br />
<br />
I'm giving it to Chao Deng who plays the Chinese billionaire who eventually falls in love with the mermaid in MEI REN YU (THE MERMAID). Simply the funniest performance of the year!<br />
<br />
<b>Ensemble cast of the year:</b><br />
Eye in the Sky, hands down!<br />
<br />
<b>Villain of the year:</b><br />
Idris Elba as Shere Khan in Jungle Book</div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-41343363959290813262016-01-26T13:16:00.001-08:002016-01-26T13:25:27.934-08:00The top 10 best movies of 2015...<br />
<br />
<b>Honorable mentions: </b><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Backcountry, Kurt
Cobain: Montage of Heck, The Walk, We Are Your Friends, Spring, Tangerine, Chappie, Ex Machina, Steve
Jobs, Creed, Beasts of no Nation, Lace Crater, The Night Before, Kingsman,
Predestination</span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">10. Crimson Peak</span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you didn't see Crimson Peak in Imax, you absolutely fucking missed out. In Imax, Crimson Peak was the most visceral, immersive horror movie experience I've had at a theatre The movie didn't even need 3-D to give me that immersive, "I am there in that haunted house" feeling. All this talk of "Crimson Peak is not really a horror, but it's a Victorian romance with horror", STFU! It's a horror movie with a Victorian romance to it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is horror filmmaking in its absolute top form. It's maybe the most beautiful looking horror film I've ever seen. I know it won't win, but god damn it, give them an Oscar for best art direction, as the haunted house is absolutely incredible and gorgeous to look at, might I add Oscars for cinematography, and sound editing/mixing as well. Name me one horror movie with more effective sound effects than this one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">All that aside, I think the performances are solid, I dug the romance, and while the movie picks its few moments of violence, holy fuck does the movie deliver on its violence and it really makes it count. If you haven't seen Crimson Peak, and if you don't have a big TV, try to seek out a friend with a big ass TV (at least 50 inches) with a damn good sound system as well. This is a horror movie to truly lose yourself in this world. </span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">9. Cop Car</span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I thought TAKEN had the single best threatening scene of all time with
Neeson's iconic, "I will find you and I will kill you" speech, but Cop Car has a scene where a character issues a threat to two children, and it's darkly hilarious, demented, and absolutely fucking menacing and it's a speech you will never ever forget. Cop Car states a case that sometimes simplicity is a good thing. A simple premise, two children find a cop car with keys in it, and they go for a joy ride, not knowing what's in the trunk, or the fact that the cop that the car belongs to is one crooked, evil fucker played by Kevin Bacon in one of his best roles. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I've ranted about this a lot, but I'll do it again. You don't always need a
big budget to make a thrilling movie. Cop Car had probably 1/100th of
Fast and Furious Seven or MI's budget; while those movies<span class="text_exposed_show">
were fun eye candy, they sure as hell didn't have the intensity and
raise my pulse like COP CAR, where the action scenes are low key and
subdued, but intense as fuck. That's what happens when you take the time
to establish and develop the characters; you make the audience more
invested in the action scenes (and kudos to the filmmakers for their
leisure pace as I'm sure some people would get restless, but I thought
the pacing was perfect). Very good dark comedy as well. It was sort of
like Stand by Me meets Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. </span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">8. The Big Short</span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">My picks for #8 and #7 are both movies about the real estate ec<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">onomic </span>collapse clusterfuck of 2008</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">, which take different approa<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ches <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">to the subject matter. My pick for #8 is <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">a bigger, more grand scale <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">explanation of <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">the financial collapse, while my #7 pick tells a much more personal story. Both mo<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">vies are great in their own ways<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">, and it was almost temp<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ting to make this spot a tie between both movies.<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">..bu<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">t ties are for pussies. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">Of all the movies nominated for best adapted screenplay, I really hope The Big <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">Short gets this Oscar. It was also robbed of the best comedy golden <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">globe award. Wha<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">t <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">these filmmakers <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ha<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ve done is incredibly difficult<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">. To be ab<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">le t<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">o take <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">such a <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">dry, complicated subject matter like the <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">real estate <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">- world economy <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">collapse</span> <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">of 2008 and <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">turn i<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">t into such an e<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ntertaining, <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">hilarious as fuck comedy movie<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">, while being <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">educational and </span>explaining <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">every little detail about the financial collapse in simple terms to people who don't under<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">stand this <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">financial shit at all is a huge fuck<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ing accomplishment. <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">This must have been one difficult script to write. <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">Credit goes <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">also to Adam Mckay for directing <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">this movie such an energetic<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">, unique style. It's a movie that very well could have <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">been boring<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">, but a boring moment is rarely ever found. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">Wha<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">t a solid cast! Steve Care<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ll was robbed <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">of an Oscar nomination as h<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">is role was far more memorable than Christian Bale's.<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> And Ryan Gosling <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">makes for <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">one of my all time<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> favorite narrators. <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">Every<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> time he's on screen, he never fails to make the audience laugh. Adam Mckay has manged to make <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">on<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">e of the funniest movies of the year out of <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">a subject matter that really seems difficult to make funny, so kudos to him! I now forgive Mckay for<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">Anchor Man 2. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">7. 99 Homes</span></b><br />
<br />
I'm giving this one the slight edge over The Big Short. Is it necessarily the better movie? They're both great movies in what they try to achieve, but I think this one resonated with me a little more as it tells a more personal story. 99 Homes moreso than Big Short puts a lot more focus on the victims; the low income people who's lives have been completely turned upside down due to the greed of the richest 1%. An early scene of our protagonist (Andrew Garfield) and his family getting evicted is so fucking raw and intense, and unless you're one of the heartless 1%, that scene will absolutely make your blood boil. <br />
<br />
99 Homes is fascinating because it does present an interesting moral conundrum. After being evicted, unable to find work, and moving his family into a fucking motel to live, through perhaps contrived circumstances, he ends up getting a job with the ruthless business man that evicted him (a role that absolutely should have won Michael Shannon an Oscar, let alone nominated...what the fuck, Oscars?). Michael Shannon's character teaches him the business and all the shady illegal ways to make a fuckload of money, and Andrew Garfield's character soon enough takes over the job, evicting poor people from their homes.<br />
<br />
It makes for a very interesting moral conundrum. It's easy to judge him, but for the rough shit he goes through, can you really blame him? Can you say with all certainty that you wouldn't do the same thing if your family was evicted and living in a motel? Maybe greed is within us all. If we had the same opportunities to get rich as the Wallstreet bankers, how do we know we wouldn't jump all over that shit? <br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">99 Homes has been described as the Wallstreet of real estate,<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> and the <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">similarities</span> are defin<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">itely there <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">including the <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">re<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">lationship between the </span>young man<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> and his mentor (Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas/Andrew Garfield and Michael Shannon)<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">, the </span></span>borderline villainous <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">greedy rich guy that takes the young man under his wing and teaches him the business. Michael Douglas's Gekko and Michael Shannon's Rick Carver even both have a mon<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ologue </span>justify<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ing greed<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">. <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">The similiarit<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ies are definitely there, but 99 Homes to me <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">the much better movie, with better developed characters, a more interesting moral conundrum, and as good as M<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">ichael Douglas's "<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">Greed is good" speech is, I think Michael Shannon's Noah's Ark speech about<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> how</span> America only bails out<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> the winners<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"> is <span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif";">phenomenal</span>, and yes, the latter takes a huge shit on the former. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6. Inside Out</span></b><br />
<br />
Pixar's best movie since Toy Story 3, and a
definite return to greatness! This is what we want from Pixar movies
which has been lacking for the past few years, a visually dazzling movie
that will entertain the kids, but an intellectually stimulating movie
for adults, as well as one that will emotionally resonate as well, with
an original premise. <br />
<br />
Inside Out is probably the most
psychologically complex movie Pixar has done so far. The human brain is
the single most complex object in the entire universe, and the
representation of the world of the brain in Inside Out is done with so
much imagination. Making characters out of each human emotion and how it
controls the person is brilliant. I have read a complaint which I do
agree with, which is that Joy and Sadness's journey does go on a little
long (this is mostly to entertain the kids), but their journey does lead
to the movie's big moral which I won't give away, but god damn what an
important life lesson it is. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<b>5. The Stanford Prison Experiment</b><br />
<br />
Here's a rare movie that gave me Psychology 101 nostalgia. Instead of the excitement of seeing a novel come to life in a movie screen, I felt like a huge nerd exclaiming, "This study I read about in my psychology textbook over a decade ago is being adapted to the big screen! Can't wait!" The experiment in a nutshell: Dr. Philip Zimbardo designed an experiment, taking 18 students, then splitting them up: 9 guards and 9 prisoners, using a school basement as a makeshift prison, and the experiment was supposed to last for 2 weeks. Keep in mind these are all smart, educated students, with the identity roles picked at random. The results were truly shocking when the guards ended up taking their roles way too seriously, abusing their powers to no end, while the people playing the role of prisoners ended up being passive, folding to the power of authority, even being convinced of their fake wrong doings to end up in prison. It's a fucking weird thing about the human psyche, someone can appear to be a very normal, nice, level headed person...slap a cop uniform on, give them a little power, and they completely transform into a different person.<br />
<br />
This is a fascinating, disturbing psychological study of conformity, authority, and identity roles and the roles that it plays on the human psyche. What was the most interesting insight the movie provided which I don't remember reading in the textbook, the actual psychologists who designed the
experiment themselves, the experiment even turned them into monsters; in fact Dr. Philip Zimbardo who designed the experiment arguably became the biggest monster himself out of everyone; even worse than the guards and couldn't even see it. A small part of me was rooting for the prisoners
to revolt, but...that didn't happen in real life <span class="text_exposed_show">and
showed that ultimately humanity bows down to power and obedience
prevails. This is not an easy movie to sit through as it's frustrating and bound to anger you to no end, but it's the truth about humanity. I don't remember the last time the very last line of dialogue
in a movie sent chills down my spine the way this one did. </span><b><br /></b><br />
<br />
<b>4. What We Do in the Shadows</b><br />
<br />
Easily the funniest movie of 2015. If I had
seen this movie in theatres, there would have been cases of missing
certain jokes due to laughing so hard at the previous one. At least
watching at home, I was able to pause the movie, wait for my
uncontrollable laughter to stop then resume. It is unfortunate the movie
loses a bit of steam towards the last act, but for the number of gargantuan belly laughs this movie gives, it's very forgivable. <br />
<br />
Vampire movies and shows
have been done to death, but I love the idea of a mockumentary/reality
show premise of simply following the lives of 3 vampires living in the
same apartment. Among vampire problems such as sunlight, this movie
addresses a bigger issue such as, how do you bite into a human without
hitting one of the main arteries? Although this movie is a comedy, it
sure as hell doesn't hold back on its gore which it uses to a hilarious
effect. Premises like these, I often think like a comedy writer and
think and complain about potential jokes that they missed. This one
however, I can't think of any missed opportunities.They took the premise
and made the absolute funniest movie possible.<br />
<br />
<b>3. Unfriended</b><br />
<br />
A horror movie that takes place entirely in a Skype chatroom,where the horror comes in the form of some sort of cyberghost.<b> </b>Talk about an idea that's audacious as fuck, but also could have been a colossal failure as well. Whatever doubts I had were silenced immediately in the opening scene of the movie where my jaw just dropped wide open. Unfriended is creative as fuck in how it gets its scares. <br />
It's easily the most under-rated horror movie in the...forever? It got very little love from the critics and tanked at the box office. But, perhaps seeing it in the theatre may not have been the best way to experience it. I very heavily recommend that the best way to watch Unfriended is on your computer, by yourself, in the dark with your headphones on. It'll almost make you feel like your in that chatroom with the characters. <br />
<br />
Over the past decade, a lot of the best horror movies have leaned a little more to the comedic side, like Cabin in the Woods and You're Next, but Unfriended really is the best pure horror since <i>The Descent</i> (Which is saying a lot, as The Descent is my all time favorite horror). Generally in horrors, when a suspenseful moment is happening, I smile in anticipation, in my brain I'm saying, "Give me a good scare! Come on! Give me something good." While watching Unfriended, I actually sat there, tense as fuck, not asking for a good scare at all, and it's so rare for a horror movie to have that effect on me.<br />
<br />
Talk about a gimmick and running all the way with it, Unfriended finds such unique ways to get scares out of its skype format. For example, even something like a computer lag is so good at building up suspense and tension. Beyond a horror, it's a very relevant parable about the horrors of cyber bullying and how easy it is to use the internet to ruin someone's life. While most horrors have shallow, 1 dimensional characters, here's a movie that constantly presents the characters with tough moral choices, and presents a bunch of normal, seemingly good people and slowly reveals more and more, challenging these characters' notions of themselves, seeing how they all believe they are good people who haven't done anything wrong. <br />
<br />
In our present technological age, where smartphones dominate, people feel the need to document everything in life, and privacy is slowly being stripped away, and anyone can get caught doing anything and put on youtube for the world to see, I think Unfriended really is the most relevant horror movie of our time. <br />
<br />
<b>2. Dope</b><br />
<br />
It's cliched to say that Dope was dope. Maybe I'll use this analogy
and say that Dope is the equivalent of the finest, stankiest, crystal
laden purple kush you can find. (Maybe a bad analogy as the drug used in
the movie is MDMA, or "molly", a term I had never heard until I saw
this movie) This is easily the most entertaining movie of the year, and
one of the funniest. It's like a mix of Boyz N the Hood, Friday, a tiny
little bit of Dear White People and maybe a bit of a black version of
Better Luck Tomorrow. When it comes to black people
comedies, I think this one just might be my all time favorite...and yes,
I'm picking this one over Friday. None of the comedy feels forced. All
the humor feels so natural to the situation and it never feels like the
filmmakers are trying to get laughs. <br />
<br />
<br />
What
is a harder life than being a black guy living in the ghetto? Being a
black nerd living in the ghetto. I know some people will complain that
the narrative is all over the place, but I enjoyed just going with it,
as it's nice when you're unable to predict where the movie's going. To
quote James Berardinelli's review as he sums it up a lot better than I
could, "Criss-crossing genres like an out-of-control hip hop song,
Famuyiwa
dabbles in the teen sex comedy, the urban gangster story, and the fish
out of water scenario. He gives us suspense, gross-out humor, a cute
romance, and a sermon about the status of race in America."<br />
<br />
Sadly
Dope under-performed at the box office, and I hope it can find an
audience when it's out on DVD. I hope that Dope can join the likes of Do
the Right Thing, and Boyz N The Hood as the most iconic black movies as
I think it's every bit as good.<br />
<br />
<b>1. The Voices</b><br />
<br />
This movie easily gets the #1 spot, as it's simply the most out there movie by far this year. It's the most fucked up, most audacious, most original, and unforgettable movie of the year. If you look up the word "audacious", the end credits of The Voices appear...granted you're using some sort of new-age dictionary that actually has voices. K, let's move on from this "looking shit up in the dictionary" cliche. <br />
<br />
I do have to start this by saying that this is a really really fucked
up movie. I would even say that Dexter comes off as a Disney show in
comparison to how dark and fucked up The Voices is. You've been warned.
This movie is not for everyone, but if you're willing to go into really dark place, you will appreciate The Voices. Once the violence starts...oh man. <br />
<br />
Talk
about transcending my expectations, this is the best serial
killer movie I've seen in a very long time. The trailer makes it look
like a one dimensional dark comedy (our main character has full on
conversations with his pets...who are awesomely hilarious characters
might I add);
fact is, I don't remember the last serial killer movie that went as deep
into the psychology of a psychopath, and his slow descent into madness
as well as this one, which include his past and the mental problems of his mother.<br />
<br />
The filmmakers sucessfully put you into the guy's head. When he's off medication, he imagines that his pets actually talk to him (hilariously his cat is constantly shit-talking him and sort of like his id, convincing him to do evil shit, while his dog is the loyal one, always making him feel better about himself, and sort of his super ego, being the voice of reason)...and shit gets darker from there. The relationship between psychopath and his talking pets is really funny stuff. You'll never see a movie like BABE the same again after seeing The Voices. When he take his meds, you can see how bleak his world seems, and you kind of understand why he wants to go through life without his meds, which unfortunately leads to him being a huge danger to society.<br />
<br />
The Voices is a phenomenal character study, on top
of being such a morbidly dark comedy, and being pretty fucking
suspenseful as well. I was surprised to learn that this was directed by
the same girl who directed Persepolis. Talk about a female filmmaker
with much bigger figurative balls than the majority of male filmmakers
to make a movie this fucked up.<br />
<br />
<b>Worst Movie of the year:</b><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
My pick from earlier this year still says; It's the pretentious, most annoying postmodern movie Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. Yes, I saw Pixels and while that movie was a steaming pile of shit, this one just annoyed me a lot more. Going into Pixels I knew what I was going to get. <br />
<br />
If
this movie didn't come with such a wave of praise, I might be easier on
it, but this is one case where I truly feel the critics got it wrong.
This movie is irritating! Instead of trying to be an authentic dramedy
about someone dying of cancer, it becomes a big self indulgent, hipster,
try so hard to be quirky and hip wank fest. First time I'll say this, I
think intellectual, postmodern pandering is every bit as irritating as
pandering to the lowest common denominator. This movie reeked of
filmmakers being all pleased with themselves being like, "Hey look,
we're referencing Ingmar Bergman, look how smart we are! We know our
classics." Or even more irritating, having our main character read his
college essay in a Werner Herzog accent. Right, like every teenager in highschool knows who Werner Herzog is. It feels like a movie that
panders to intellectuals who are pleased with themselves for getting all
these obscure references. It's a movie that lacks its own identity. Enough with this meta shit already! I
don't see how people can be annoyed by JUNO trying so hard to be hip and
quirky, but defending this movie. This one is 1000 times more
irritating, with a much shittier sense of humor.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Here's
the thing...this movie's comedy writing is fucking awful! The
characters are rather 1 dimensional and the movie spends so much time
trying to be all hip and cool that the drama just completely fails.
Barely any of the movie felt authentic. It really is sad state of things
especially for an indy film when I sit there watching it, wishing I was
watching the mainstream, chick flick tearjerker The Fault in Our Stars
instead. That movie sure as hell has much better comedy writing, much
better developed characters, better performances, and it's simply a more
powerful, authentic drama about cancer.<br />
<br />
While I haven't seen every cancer movie, from what I have seen...worst cancer movie ever! </div>
<b> </b> <br />
<br />
<b> Other Awards:</b><br />
<br />
<b>Best use of 3-D in a movie</b>: <i>The Walk</i><br />
by a fucking landslide. No 2015 movie was even close. If you didn't see The Walk in imax 3d, you missed out.<br />
<br />
<b>Best pot dealer character/performance of all time: </b>Michael Shannon in <i>The Night Before</i><br />
<br />
<b>Best movies to watch stoned: </b>Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, Kingsman, and The Night Before <i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b>Best action scene: </b>Kingsman...the church massacre...holy fucking shit! Maybe one of the best action scenes ever made. <br />
<br />
<b>The metaphorical bonerific award for most beautiful film to look at: </b>Crimson Peak<br />
<br />
<b>Most unfairly shat on movies that were actually kind of awesome: </b>We Are your Friends, and Pan<br />
<br />
<b>Single best line of dialogue: </b>I won't give away the line, but <i>What we Do in the Shadows</i>, a vampire explains why virgin blood is the best, and uses a sandwich as an analogy to explain it. All I can say is, I laughed so hard, I had to pause the movie to calm down. <br />
<br />
<b>Best opening scene: </b>Spring (I was in tears in the first 3 minutes. Absolutely fucking powerful)<br />
<br />
<b>Best Ending: </b>The end credits of <i>The Voices</i>. All I have to add to that is an, "Ahahahaha!" and you'll only understand if you watch it. The fucking audacity of these filmmakers! (I mean that in a good way) <br />
Runner up: <i>The Stanford Prison Experiment </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-82830396997674865812015-07-30T12:53:00.003-07:002015-07-30T13:00:15.412-07:00The top 10 best movies of the 1st half of 2015...<div style="text-align: center;">
<u><b>Ching's Top 10 best movies of the first half of 2015...and the worst movie of the year so far</b></u> </div>
<br />
Welcome to my top 10 list of the best movies of the first half of 2015, and my pick for the worst movie of the year so far. I know I'm going to get shit from a lot of people as my pick for worst movie was a big hit with many critics. <br />
<br />
Without further ado, here we go...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><u><b>Honorable Mentions:</b></u></i></div>
<br />
Trainwreck, About Elly, Kung Fury, Entourage<br />
<br />
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10. Kingsman ****</div>
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My pick for the best action movie of the year. The church massacre scene...just, holy shit! Quite possibly the best action scene ever made! Then there's that mushroom clouds scene...okay, not as cool as the church action scene, but trippy as fuck, surreal, and kind of mind blowing...literally. While not quite as good as Kick-Ass, I will still refer to Kingsman as the Kick-Ass of spy movies. I'm down with turning this into a series, and I'll be more excited for the next installment of this than the next Bond.</div>
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9. Predestination ****<br />
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This
is a movie I feel like I have to watch at least 3 or 4 times to fully
get the plot. Even reading the plot summary on wikipedia after the
movie, trying my best to comprehend everything, I felt like my brain was
hurting. Of all time travel movies, this one is the biggest mind fuck,
and perhaps the most mind blowing as well.<br />
<br />
Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FcK_UiVV40">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FcK_UiVV40</a><br />
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8. Cobain: A Montage of Heck ****<br />
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Surprised
to say that the trippiest movie of 2015 is a
documentary about Kurt Cobain, which kind of
reminded me of the brilliant short Canadian documentary RYAN. I was
expecting your standard talking heads with concert footage documentary,
and was very surprised by the incredibly surreal style of the movie,
with a psychorealist style, depicting the psychological breakdown of
Kurt Cobain. They have a lot of good source material including Kurt
Cobain's own notebook (which is animated in such a cool way), audio
interviews with Kurt Cobain, where his stories are animated in a
rotoscoped style, interviews
with his family, and what's even kind of haunting is actual home video
footage of him and Courtney Love. It's documentary filmmaking that
thinks way outside the box. It's definitely the best documentary
I've seen about a musician.<br />
<br />
Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqyPMyC2T0s">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqyPMyC2T0s</a></div>
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7. Ex Machina ****<br />
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This is a movie that you appreciate more after the credits, having time to think it over and discuss it. In fact, I actually had this movie ranked lower on my list originally, but it was a conversation I had with a friend of mine that lead me to give it a higher rank, as our talk made me appreciate the movie's complexities more. <br />
<br />
This is the most low key AI movie I've seen in a long time. Primarily a cast of 3 actors, an ultra rich scientist who's designed the most human looking robot imaginable, the expert that's asked to come talk to the robot, and determine whether she can pass as an actual human being, and of course the robot her...itself? When you develop a machine with human-like consciousness, should the robots get the same rights as humans? Is it wrong to destroy a machine, if it has consciousness?<br />
<br />
Ex Machina is smart, unpredictable, with its fair share of fucked up moments. Not only do you not know where the plot's going, the characters' motivations are unknown, including the robot herself. Ex Machina never goes into overblown Hollywood territory, it stays low key, with some nice twists to it. Admittedly I was a little restless at times, but the 3rd act of the movie completely won me over.<br />
<br />
Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI8XBKb6DQk">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI8XBKb6DQk</a></div>
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6. Chappie ****</div>
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So...this is not quite as smart of an AI movie as my #7 pick, in fact, the movie gets so utterly absurd towards the end. On the other hand, I never expected that a movie about a scientist being able to put human consciousness into a robot for the first time (the scientist raving about a robot that can write poetry) would end up in an absolutely hilarious movie where a group of thugs get a hold of the robot and turn Chappie unknowingly into a gangsta robot. The scene of Chappie stealing cars is one of the funniest things!! Hilarious all the way through, then Hugh Jackman is some evil dude that unleashes his super duper ass kicking robot, and when it turns into a full blown action movie, it delivers far better robot action than anything in the Transformers movie. So yes, this is a leave your brain at the door movie, but a damn good one! </div>
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5. Spring ****<br />
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This is a very interesting arthouse blending of genres to which I have to say, I wish I could be ranking this movie higher. Kudos to the filmmakers for being inspired by Before Sunrise and saying, "What if we made a horror movie version of Before Sunrise?" Man meets beautiful woman who turns out to be some crazy transforming...I still don't know what to call her, but it's a more complicated explanation than just being a werewolf. Spring has easily the most powerful opening I can remember in a long time. 3 minutes into the movie, I was already in tears.<br />
<br />
Once it turns into a romance...unfortunately the couple don't quite have the chemistry of Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight. Once it goes into horror movie mode and the guy realizes what type of beautiful beast he's fallen in love with, its plot is more complicated than you'd expect, and it's fun going along with the movie's surprises. With the horror, there's a sweetness to it and some brilliant comedic bits. If only the chemistry between the couple was better, this really could have been #1.<br />
<br />
Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=668ZdEbXlPY">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=668ZdEbXlPY</a></div>
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4. Inside Out ****1/2<br />
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Pixar's best movie since Toy Story 3, and a definite return to greatness! This is what we want from Pixar movies which has been lacking for the past few years, a visually dazzling movie that will entertain the kids, but an intellectually stimulating movie for adults, as well as one that will emotionally resonate as well, with an original premise. <br />
<br />
Inside Out is probably the most psychologically complex movie Pixar has done so far. The human brain is the single most complex object in the entire universe, and the representation of the world of the brain in Inside Out is done with so much imagination. Making characters out of each human emotion and how it controls the person is brilliant. I have read a complaint which I do agree with, which is that Joy and Sadness's journey does go on a little long (this is mostly to entertain the kids), but their journey does lead to the movie's big moral which I won't give away, but god damn what an important life lesson it is. </div>
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3. What we do in the shadows ****1/2<br />
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It's a tough fight between this and my pick for #2 for funniest movie of 2015, but I think I'll give the slight edge to this one. If I had seen this movie in theatres, there would have been cases of missing certain jokes due to laughing so hard at the previous one. At least watching at home, I was able to pause the movie, wait for my uncontrollable laughter to stop then resume. It is unfortunate the movie loses a bit of steam towards the last act, but for how good the jokes are, it's very forgivable. <br />
<br />
Vampire movies and shows have been done to death, but I love the idea of a mockumentary/reality show premise of simply following the lives of 3 vampires living in the same apartment. Among vampire problems such as sunlight, this movie addresses a bigger issue such as, how do you bite into a human without hitting one of the main arteries? Although this movie is a comedy, it sure as hell doesn't hold back on its gore which it uses to a hilarious effect. Premises like these, I often think like a comedy writer and think and complain about potential jokes that they missed. This one however, I can't think of any missed opportunities.They took the premise and made the absolute funniest movie possible.<br />
<br />
Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAZEWtyhpes">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAZEWtyhpes</a></div>
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2. Dope ****1/2<br />
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It's cliched to say that Dope was dope. Maybe I'll use this analogy and say that Dope is the equivalent of the finest, stankiest, crystal laden purple kush you can find. (Maybe a bad analogy as the drug used in the movie is MDMA, or "molly", a term I had never heard until I saw this movie) This is easily the most entertaining movie of the year, and one of the funniest. It's like a mix of Boyz N the Hood, Friday, a tiny
little bit of Dear White People and maybe a bit of a black version of Better Luck Tomorrow. When it comes to black people
comedies, I think this one just might be my all time favorite...and yes,
I'm picking this one over Friday. None of the comedy feels forced. All the humor feels so natural to the situation and it never feels like the filmmakers are trying to get laughs. <br />
<br />
<br />
What is a harder life than being a black guy living in the ghetto? Being a black nerd living in the ghetto. I know some people will complain that the narrative is all over the place, but I enjoyed just going with it, as it's nice when you're unable to predict where the movie's going. To quote James Berardinelli's review as he sums it up a lot better than I could, "Criss-crossing genres like an out-of-control hip hop song, Famuyiwa
dabbles in the teen sex comedy, the urban gangster story, and the fish
out of water scenario. He gives us suspense, gross-out humor, a cute
romance, and a sermon about the status of race in America."<br />
<br />
Sadly Dope under-performed at the box office, and I hope it can find an audience when it's out on DVD. I hope that Dope can join the likes of Do the Right Thing, and Boyz N The Hood as the most iconic black movies as I think it's every bit as good.<br />
<br />
Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L41xwM8tIRQ">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L41xwM8tIRQ</a></div>
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1. The Voices ****1/2<br />
<br />
I do have to start this by saying that this is a really really fucked up movie. I would even say that Dexter comes off as a Disney show in comparison to how dark and fucked up The Voices is. You've been warned. This movie is not for everyone, but if you're willing to go into a really dark, fucked up territory, this is a very original movie you will not forget anytime soon. I was conflicted on whether to give #1 to this or DOPE, but I think I have to go with this one for its originality and it sheer audacity. If you look up the word "audacity" in the dictionary, the end credits of The Voices should be in it. Only people who've seen it will know what I'm talking about. <br />
<br />
Talk about transcending my expectations, this is the best serial
killer movie I've seen in a very long time. The trailer makes it look like a one dimensional dark comedy (our main character has full on conversations with his pets...who are awesomely hilarious characters might I add);
fact is, I don't remember the last serial killer movie that went as deep
into the psychology of a psychopath, and his slow descent into madness
as well as this one. The Voices is a phenomenal character study, on top
of being such a morbidly dark comedy, and being pretty fucking
suspenseful as well. I was surprised to learn that this was directed by
the same girl who directed Persepolis. Talk about a female filmmaker
with much bigger figurative balls than the majority of male filmmakers
to make a movie this fucked up.<br />
<br />
Trailer:<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQpV9Q0A7E">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQpV9Q0A7E</a><br />
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<u><b>Worst movie of 2015 so far... </b></u></div>
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<i>Me and Earl and the Dying Girl **</i></div>
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I am sure there were worse movies than this, but I didn't see them. If this movie didn't come with such a wave of praise, I might be easier on it, but this is one case where I truly feel the critics got it wrong. This movie is irritating! Instead of trying to be an authentic dramedy about someone dying of cancer, it becomes a big self indulgent, hipster, try so hard to be quirky and hip wank fest. First time I'll say this, I think intellectual, postmodern pandering is every bit as irritating as pandering to the lowest common denominator. This movie reeked of filmmakers being all pleased with themselves being like, "Hey look, we're referencing Ingmar Bergman, look how smart we are! We know our classics." Or even more irritating, having our main character read his college essay in a Werner Herzog accent. It feels like a movie that panders to intellectuals who are pleased with themselves for getting all these obscure references. It's a movie that lacks its own identity. I'm getting tired of this postmodern bullshit. Some movies do it well, DOPE made some really cool references. This one runs it into the ground. I don't see how people can be annoyed by JUNO trying so hard to be hip and quirky, but defending this movie. This one is 1000 times more irritating, with a much shittier sense of humor.</div>
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Here's the thing...this movie's comedy writing is fucking awful! The characters are rather 1 dimensional and the movie spends so much time trying to be all hip and cool that the drama just completely fails. Barely any of the movie felt authentic. It really is sad state of things especially for an indy film when I sit there watching it, wishing I was watching the mainstream, chick flick tearjerker The Fault in Our Stars instead. That movie sure as hell has much better comedy writing, much better developed characters, better performances, and it's simply a more powerful, authentic drama about cancer. </div>
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Of all the critics, David Edelstein truly got it right:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://www.vulture.com/2015/06/review-me-and-earl-and-the-dying-girl.html">http://www.vulture.com/2015/06/review-me-and-earl-and-the-dying-girl.html</a><br />
<br />
Trailer:<br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qfmAllbYC8">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qfmAllbYC8</a></div>
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The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-76626408786303698432013-05-23T12:29:00.004-07:002013-08-11T06:32:24.214-07:00A new financial fuck myself experiment - financial fuck myself get in good shape and become a bad ass martial artist along the way experiment...<div class="MsoNormal">
First off, my latest short film that got into the Toronto
Indy Film Fest - CHASING ROADRUNNER is now available to watch at
<a href="http://chingofcomedy.com/">chingofcomedy.com</a> Please watch it if
you haven’t had the chance to. Okay...</div>
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The Financial fuck myself experiment has been pretty
successful at getting my lazy ass writing again. Now in attempt to further better myself, I
will be extending this fuck myself experiment to my own personal health and
fitness...and hopefully becoming a bad ass martial artist along the way. Yes, I know I haven’t updated my writing
experiment blog in a while, I’ll do that soon.
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It’s bad when I try to flex my muscle in attempt to
intimidate someone, and then all I get is laughter. People would say, “It’s almost as if you don’t
have any muscles at all.” I then try to
tell people that I have stealthy muscles and that taking a punch from me is
like getting hit by an Obama drone attack, but no one seems to believe me. </div>
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Some people who see me, a 6’2” guy, but incredibly scrawny
think I’m completely wasting my height by...ya know, being scrawny and boney as
fuck. The #1 most clichéd question I get
from people who marvel at my height is whether I play basketball and when I
tell them I don’t, they look so disappointed, as if I’m wasting this height of
mine. But, I’m not wasting my
height. Hey guys, you know what’s
awesome about being tall? Being able to see over your short midget asses!! You know what’s a way more fun sport? Curling!
No jokes, curling is actually a lot of fun. And badminton...that’s a sport where I use my
height to my advantage. </div>
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Anyways...</div>
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There’s a reason you never see me posting shirtless pictures
of myself. It’s not because it’s a
douchey thing to do. It’s because I
really have no upper body to show off. I
don’t even have a six pack which is kind of sad for how skinny I am. Don’t get me wrong, if I had a 6 pack, I would
totally post shirtless pictures every day.
If I had photoshop skills, I’d totally photoshop a 6 pack on
myself...but sadly, my photoshop skills are as bad as my upper body.</div>
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My good friend Richard Fung (The sensei of Fung Fu) decided
a year ago he needed to get in good shape.
So, he posted a picture of his somewhat flabby self, then went to the
gym steadily 4 days a week. He posted a
picture of himself a year later, and the dude is fucking ripped. He had a goal, he committed, and the results
speak for themselves. </div>
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I’m not going to make that commitment. 4 days a week lifting weights is just too much. Why?
Because weight lifting fucking sucks!
Even lighting weights once a week is too much. It’s about as fun as loading heavy shit into
a cube van. Seriously, weight lifting is
just lots of pain, and a shitload of boredom to go along with the pain, might I
add a shitload of insecurity as I watch other people in the gym lifting like 10
times what I’m lifting. The only time I
would be interested to return to a weight room would be if I showed up with
like 4 other guys on Halloween to the YMCA, and we were all dressed up like a different
member of the village people. I asked the YMCA employees if that was ever done and he said no.<br />
<br />
Back on topic...So, what do I plan to do to get in shape? Kickboxing class once a week. It’s a start.
Maybe if I get in better shape, it’ll be more than that, but baby steps
is what I need.</div>
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For those of you that have never attended, kickboxing class
is the absolute most intense work out imaginable. I used to think a punk rock moshpit was the
most excessively sweat inducing activity, but it’s actually nothing in comparison
to a kickboxing class. When you go into
the change room, the floor is like a skating rink of other people’s sweat, and
after one kickboxing class, there’s not a single muscle in the body that isn’t
in pain. I remember having to roll out
of bed, because I couldn’t sit up. While
I don’t have weights at my disposal, I figure the excessive amount of push ups,
sit ups, and planking should suffice. If
I can commit to this class once a week for at least a year, I think I’ll be in
pretty good shape. </div>
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Even better, I’ll hopefully become somewhat decent at
kickboxing. I’ve always had a fascination
for the martial arts. Despite the fact that kickboxing class is 90
minutes of suffering and pain, it’s at least kind of fun. I’ve given up on weights, but I think I can
stick to this. </div>
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Now, I’ve accepted that laziness has been written into my
DNA, so I need to get around it. I now
have a new financial fuck myself plan. A
good friend of mine...let’s call him Dick Siemens (this is a real name. I ain’t
makin this shit up). He has a really big
debt with another friend of mine...let’s call him Jakov Mehboob (okay, this
name isn’t real, but there really is someone out there named Jakov, and Mehboob
is a much more common name than you’d expect).
I absolutely must attend one kickboxing class a week. Mr.
Siemens will text me every Sunday night to find out if I went to kickboxing
class or not. If the answer is no, I
have to give $25 to Jakov to which he will castrate the $25 off Dick’s
debt. </div>
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Now, there are exemptions to this. If I didn’t make it to kickboxing class, but
I did have a really intense work out in another form (ie: playing squash with
my older brother...trust me, this is tiring as fuck!!, or I went to a punk rock
show with a really rockin moshpit), then that’s good enough substitute workout that
I don’t have to pay. Or I get sick, it’s
probably not a good idea to go to class and risk infecting other people. Or if I’m on vacation, but that one’s
obvious. </div>
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But otherwise, I better get my lazy ass into kickboxing
class once a week , or my wallet will take even more vicious rapings. I’m not going to blog every week about this
like I do with the writing experiment, but I’ll keep a score card for those of
you that want to know how I’m doing. This
deal takes affect this week and will go for the rest of 2013. Who knows what the future has in store? Maybe a year from now, you’ll see a shitload
of shirtless pics with my bad ass 6 pack flooding the internet. </div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-85870307438738393032013-05-02T12:31:00.002-07:002013-05-02T12:31:48.288-07:00Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 7 - I'm back to playing 500 ball! <strong><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><strong>THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL</strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">I needed to write a short film by April 30th or I'd have to buy 5 grams of we....soil and give it to my friend for free. To this date, my financially threatening muse has gotten 12 grams of free soil. Anyways, I had a very crazy week-end (unrelated note, <em>The Croods 3D</em> is one motherfucking trippy ass movie!), and on Monday when she came by to pick stuff up, I gave her a recap of my crazy weekend, then I told her it would really help me if instead of the 11:59 PM deadline on Tuesday, she let me work all night on Tuesday if necessary and the script would be in her inbox early on Wednesday morning. She said no problem, just get it done. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">So, Tuesday rolled around, after getting back from work, I had maybe written up to page 3 in the previous days. I ate, watched The Daily show, took a half hour nap and then took my uhh...creative medicine which is taken by uhh...inhaling smoke. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.6pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">1 A.M is when I started, and at 6 a.m I had finally finished the short script. It's currently 22 pages long, which I definitely want to make shorter, but for now I left all the jokes in. <strong>Result: I won, motherfuckers!</strong> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">Is it good? I think it turned out pretty good. It's a romantic comedy, and a satire about today's cellphone culture. Most interesting thing that happened; I originally planned for a low key ending, but at 4 a.m, a completely different ending came to my brain. An ending that may be totally ridiculous, but far more memorable than my original ending. I still don't know if this ending that came to my head in a state of exhaustion is good. I'll wait to hear back. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">So, with this short script complete...perhaps, I might be shooting a new short film this summer. Though the original concept of the script would have been much easier to shoot. The new stuff I added in will cost more $$$$ and more headaches too. Who knows? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">So, that now makes me 3 for 6 in this writing experiment. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:</span></u></b></span></div>
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<strong><u><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></u></strong> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I'm going with the same challenge I gave to myself two weeks ago, but failed. Write 2 blogs within 10 days: My blog about the worst & most over-rated movies of 2012, and a Roger Ebert blog...something I should have done much earlier, but something's better than nothing. The deadline is April 12th, 11:59 PM. Once again, here's an opportunity for an easy $25. Email me your paypal email address, and I'll send $25 to 2 people. How I pick who gets paid? I don't know. It'll be random. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Main reason I'm not going going to write anything new outside of blogging is because I'll take some time to go through my sitcom pilot and my short film and re-write and revise. Re-writes are equally as important as the writing itself. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Recap of the previous writing challenges:</span></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><u><strong>Experiment 5 -</strong></u> The due date was 420, due time: 4:20 PM. An HQ of weed...I mean soil, was on the line. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I needed to either write episode 2 of my sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human Project”. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u><strong>RESULT – I LOST </strong></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yeah, I texted my friend on 420 asking for an extension to Sunday night and I’d add in an extra 1.5 grams if I lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Then on Sunday, I woke up hung over as shit from the big 5 year college reunion party the night before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>I tried to write, but man...writing while hungover is just...not...good!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>It’s like trying to take a shit after someone slipped a constipation pill into your drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>So, I’m now 2 for 5. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m currently playing 400 ball, which is like...Blue Jays bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>I need to <a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/#" id="_GPLITA_2" in_rurl="http://i.trkjmp.com/click?v=Q0E6MjI5MDA6MTg5OndpbjpmMzYzZTNkMTVlMzAyNjk4YWRlYjZiNGZjMDQ1MmYzMDp6LTEyNjktMTE5MjkyOnRoZWNoaW5nb2Zjb21lZHkuYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY2E6MzQzMTg6ODcwODkyNjFjY2JiMmJiMWMzYmIwNGNkNDU1MTg0NDc" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: #473624;">win</span></a> the next challenge to be better than the baseball the blue jays are playing.</span></span></div>
<o:p></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 4 -</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where I recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger Ebert. As you can see, those blogs have not been posted, so I “lost” the challenge. If I had lost, I was going to <a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: #473624;">paypal</span></a> $25 to two people who posted their<a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/#" id="_GPLITA_0" in_rurl="http://i.trkjmp.com/click?v=Q0E6MzI1MjQ6MTc0OnBheXBhbDpkNmZkNzI1MTc4ZTExMDU5ZTE1Njc5ODNkM2JmMWI2Zjp6LTEyNjktMTE5MjkyOnRoZWNoaW5nb2Zjb21lZHkuYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY2E6MzEyNjU6MDRiYjRjNjM3N2QyZTY2ZTU2MDIzYWZiYjVjZWJlOGY" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: #473624;">paypal</span></a> email address or messaged me with it. Well...<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">I LOST...SORT OF.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A bunch of people did read my blog, but no one bothered to leave me their paypal address</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">, therefore I didn’t lose any money after all. So ha! Take that bitches! You lost an opportunity for an easy $25. Now I still do want to write those blogs, but I’ll save it for another time. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">What can I say? I had a busy week-end, I got lazy, and I noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal address...laziness got the best of me again. So sort of thank you for not posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for next time...post your paypal address. Tough love is what I need to not be lazy. It looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose will likely end up getting me drunk. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">Experiment 3:</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">THE RESULT</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">It was nice to finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html</span></a></span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 2</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;"><br /></span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html</span></a></span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to it."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">RESULT</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">next</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> time I see you. They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 1</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">buy</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">CURRENT TALLY:</span></b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">3 wins<br />3 losses</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-47995116328237490042013-04-24T13:07:00.006-07:002013-04-24T13:07:53.655-07:00Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 6 - I'm doing as poorly as the Blue Jays...
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;">Financial fuck myself writing experiment -
Part 6 </span></b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">I went through a year and a half of writing
absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by
making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness
out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what
song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of
pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal,
my wallet takes a vicious raping.</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"></span></u></b></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">The due date was 420, due time: 4:20 PM. An
HQ of weed...I mean soil, was on the line. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I needed to either write episode 2 of my
sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a
while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human
Project”. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>RESULT – I LOST</strong> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yeah, I texted my friend on 420 asking for an
extension to Sunday night and I’d add in an extra 1.5 grams if I lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then on Sunday, I woke up hung over as shit
from the big 5 year college reunion party the night before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to write, but man...writing while
hungover is just...not...good!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like
trying to take a shit after someone slipped a constipation pill into your
drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I’m now 2 for 5. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m currently playing 400 ball, which is
like...Blue Jays bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to win the
next challenge to be better than the baseball the blue jays are playing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;">The due date is April 30<sup>th</sup>,
11:59 PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>5 grams is on the line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Same person from challenge #1, and 3 and 5 is
the enforcer.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;">There’s a short film that I
tried to write a few times, but was never happy with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve ditched the 8 pages I’d written previously
and have started fresh with new characters, but same concept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just like my stoner sitcom, it’s something I’ve
tried to write in the past, but was never happy with what I came up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I’ve changed the female character, as I’m
somewhat basing her on someone I’ve gotten to know recently; as a result, I
think she’s a much funnier character than the original female character I just
pulled out of my ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There you go,
folks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it’s better to use real
people as inspiration than pull people out your anus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Recap of the previous writing challenges:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 4 -</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where
I recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger
Ebert. As you can see, those blogs have not been posted, so I “lost” the
challenge. If I had lost, I was going to <a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: #473624;">paypal</span></a> $25 to two people who posted their
paypal email address or messaged me with it. Well...<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">I LOST...SORT OF.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A bunch of people did read my blog, but no
one bothered to leave me their paypal address</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">, therefore I didn’t lose any money
after all. So ha! Take that bitches! You lost an opportunity for an easy $25.
Now I still do want to write those blogs, but I’ll save it for another time. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">What can I say? I had a busy week-end, I got
lazy, and I noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal
address...laziness got the best of me again. So sort of thank you for not
posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for next
time...post your paypal address. Tough love is what I need to not be lazy. It
looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose
will likely end up getting me drunk. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">Experiment 3:</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom
(22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d
have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">THE RESULT</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this
sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken
quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept
re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and
delete it and start from the beginning. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">It was nice to finally write it all out,
flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain
storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages
I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to
think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older
scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of
my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll
re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial
fuck myself part 3:</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html</span></a></span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 2</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF
THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script
being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to
it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;"><br />
<br />
</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html</span></a></span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40
on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my
musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and
being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I
guess I’ll listen to it."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">RESULT</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a
CD of The Menzingers </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">next</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> time I see you. They’re fucking awesome!
They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 1</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came
up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">buy</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a
friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: text1;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">CURRENT
TALLY:</span></b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">2 wins<br />
3 losses</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.chingofcomedy.com/"> Click here to go back to The Ching of Comedy</a></span></o:p></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-34607434896479072052013-04-17T19:51:00.005-07:002013-04-17T19:51:57.696-07:00Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 5 - 420's comin soon, bitches!!
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;">Financial fuck myself
writing experiment - Part 5 </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">THE
EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">I went through a year and a half of writing
absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by
making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness
out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what
song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of
pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal,
my wallet takes a vicious raping.</span></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:</span></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where I
recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger
Ebert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As you can see, those blogs have
not been posted, so I “lost” the challenge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If I had lost, I was going to paypal $25 to two people who posted their
paypal email address or messaged me with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well...</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A bunch of people did read my blog, but no
one bothered to leave me their paypal address, therefore I didn’t lose any
money after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So ha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take that bitches!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You lost an opportunity for an easy $25.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I still do want to write those blogs, but
I’ll save it for another time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.6pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">What can I say?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a busy week-end, I got lazy, and I
noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal address...laziness got the
best of me again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So sort of thank you
for not posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for
next time...post your paypal address.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Tough love is what I need to not be lazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead
of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose will likely end up getting me drunk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The due date is 420, due time: 4:20 PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An HQ of weed...I mean soil, is on the
line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My friend from challenge #1 and 3
is once again going to be the enforcer, test reader, and constructive criticizer...if
that’s even a word. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>MS Word is not
showing any red squiggly line below, so maybe it is a word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So...I need to either write episode 2 of my
sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a
while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human
Project”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b><u><o:p></o:p></u></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.6pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: center;">
<b><u><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Recap of the previous writing challenges:<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">Experiment 3 (last CHALLENGE):</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom
(22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d
have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">THE RESULT</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this
sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken
quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept
re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and
delete it and start from the beginning. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was nice to finally write it all out,
flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain
storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages
I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to
think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older
scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of
my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll
re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial
fuck myself part 3:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html</span></span></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 2</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF
THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script
being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to
it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;"><br />
<br />
</span><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html</span></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40
on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my
musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and
being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I
guess I’ll listen to it."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">RESULT</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a
CD of The Menzingers </span></span><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">next</span></span></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> time I see you. They’re fucking awesome!
They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">EXPERIMENT 1</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"> – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came
up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to </span></span><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">buy</span></span></a><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a
friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html</span></span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">CURRENT TALLY:</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-themecolor: text1;">2 wins<br />
2 losses</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: text1;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-87900002093309799742013-04-10T12:14:00.003-07:002013-04-10T12:14:54.349-07:00Financial fuck myself writing experiment - Part 4 <span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL</span></b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I went through a year and
a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck
the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to
fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X
amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach
my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><b><u><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span></u></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><u><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:</span></u></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<strong>Experiment 3 (last CHALLENGE):</strong> <span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages)
or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free
HQ of weed.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><strong>THE RESULT</strong>: I WON!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted
to write for a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve taken
quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote;<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I kept re-starting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read
it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was nice to
finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few
teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future
episodes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was about 25 pages I
wrote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I’m happy with the
characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing</span>. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">My current tally is 2 wins, and 1 loss.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><strong><u>THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:</u></strong></span><span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">2 BLOGS...</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">The next
deadline will be April 14, 11:59 PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
need to write 2 blogs this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of
them is one I’ve wanted to write for a long time, but keep procrastinating and
that’s my blog about the most over-rated/worst movies of 2012.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The other blog will be about Roger Ebert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a huge fan of his, I feel the need to
write a blog about him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">While I
didn’t know him personally, nor did we even exchange emails (I think one time
he responded to my comment on his blog when I was asking him about a trippy
animation he posted on his blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked
him where he found the trippy animation, he dug around a bit and told me where
he found it, and since then the Animusic DVD is part of my awesome things to watch while high collection...thanks Ebert!) , the man is arguably the most important,
influential, smartest and most respected movie critic of all time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much of what I know about movies and even
my love of movies is due to Roger Ebert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">As a film
criticism nerd, I do feel the need to write a blog about him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t make it overly sentimental, as I
didn’t know him personally. I don't know if I'll really say much that hasn't already been said, but I'll give it a shot.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">So...if I
don’t deliver these two blogs by Sunday April 14...</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Whoever is
reading this blog, if you have paypal, feel free to either leave your paypal
address here or email </span><a href="mailto:jeffching@gmail.com"><span style="color: #473624;">jeffching@gmail.com</span></a><span style="color: black;">
with your paypal address.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I fail this
challenge, I will pick two email addresses and paypal $25 to each one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How will I decide which 2 email addresses get
it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I’ll just </span>Eeny<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">, </span>meeny<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">, </span>miny, moe that
shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe I’ll send money to
whoever I like better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knows?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> But, you have a chance to get $25 due to my laziness, so why not? </span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><strong><u>Recap of the previous writing challenges:</u></strong></span><span style="color: #29303b; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">EXPERIMENT 2</span></b><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL
WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3
writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever
the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<br />
</span><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html"><span style="color: #473624; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html</span></a><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for
Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on
Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo,
this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to
it."</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><strong>RESULT</strong> – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The
Menzingers </span><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: #473624; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">next</span></a><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> time I see you. They’re
fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip. </span><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">EXPERIMENT 1</span></b><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A
FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to </span></span><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/financial-fuck-myself-part-3-april.html" title="Click to Continue > by Shopping Sidekick Plugin"><span style="color: #473624; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">buy</span></span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #29303b; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> a quarter ounce of weed
and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:</span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.6pt; margin: 0cm 0cm 12pt;">
<a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html"><span style="color: #473624; font-size: 12pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html</span></span></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri;">CURRENT
TALLY:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">2 wins<br />
1 loss</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.chingofcomedy.com/">Click here to return to The Ching of Comedy</a></span></div>
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</span><br />
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The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-26524371523602837942013-03-28T10:19:00.001-07:002013-03-28T10:20:08.103-07:00Financial Fuck myself part 3 - april fools' time<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><u>Financial Fuck myself writing experiment – part 3</u></strong></span><br />
<br />
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<strong><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL</span></strong></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely
nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That shit’s
fucked up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to unfuck the situation
by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness
out of... myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each week I set a
goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries,
whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I don’t reach my goal, my
wallet takes a raping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>RECAP:</strong></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>EXPERIMENT 1</strong> – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and
had to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Here's the link to the original blog:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html</a></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">EXPERIMENT 2 - CLOSURE ON LAST WEEK’S CHALLENGE<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>– SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF
THE EPIC SCRIPT...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(a chain script
concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each
other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html</a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>$40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent
ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means no more showing upto his house and
being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to
it."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">RESULT – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers next time I see you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the
Tragically Hip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The count for now is </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">1 win</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">1 loss</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the previous blog, I had talked about how the script started out with a twilight zone-ish concept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Then it soon became </span>a competition of
who can out-farce who, who can write the most fucked up, darkest, disgusting,
offensive material.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Scott and Warren
know my humor very well by now, but I’m hoping my latest entry still manages to
get a shock reaction out of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This entry was a double edged sword.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On one hand, I think what I wrote was
absolutely fucking hilarious and much funnier than the stuff I wrote last
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the flip side, I am also genuinely embarrassed about what I wrote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If Scott and Warren are the only 2 people who
ever read my 10 pages, that’s cool with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong><u>THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE:</u></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think I’m fucked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ll be honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s already
Thursday, and I haven’t started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anyways, I made a deal on Monday with the same friend from challenge 1,
but this time with an HQ of weed on the line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because I’m only giving myself a week, I’m not putting $65 on the line
again; especially with my last paycheque sucking balls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyways, the deal was that I had to either write the pilot to
my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, it’s April Fools day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What should a script delivered on April fools
be like? I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to
think about this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I’ll write a
short about April Fools.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My next deadline after that should be might be April 20.</span></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-31164163323350085932013-03-19T08:57:00.002-07:002013-03-19T09:35:02.833-07:00The Financial fuck myself writing experiment part 2BE WARNED: I use the word "epic" way too many times in this blog. I'm sorry. It hopefully won't happen again.<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">CLOSURE ON LAST
WEEK’S ANECDOTE:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">For those not familiar with my
financial fuck myself writing experiment, here’s the first blog I wrote about it.:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><a href="http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html"><span style="color: blue;">http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-diary-of-wannabe-writer-financial.html</span></a><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Okay, so an update on the first
experiment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bad news is, I did indeed
financially fuck myself (might I add I fucked myself even more by putting money
on Carlos Condit to beat Johny Hendricks at the last UFC).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The email that I wrote to the recipient
stated, “</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">On
Sunday March 17th...11:59 PM, I have to send you a
piece of writing. I don't know yet what it will be as I'm deciding between like
5 different ideas. It either has to be 30 pages of a feature, one episode of a
sitcom (22 pages), a
short film script, or 3 episodes of a webseries titled The Human Project (I've
written one episode so far). So, if I don't deliver on March 17th, a free
quarter bag of soil will come your way.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Maybe
I don’t have to spell it out, but soil being our code word for weed...I guess
making my pot dealer my gardener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
not the best code words in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span> I ended up going with a feature-length romantic comedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bad news was that I failed to deliver 30
pages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> On the other hand, I didn't completly fail at writing either. </span>I delivered 20 pages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether those 20 pages were good, I don’t
know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reader and uhh...gardening
enthusiast got back to me immediately with script notes which I really appreciate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She seems to sort of enjoy it so far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s far from the best stuff I’ve ever written, but I’m sure I’ll make
it better with re-writes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> So, I lost $65. </span>Anyways, for
the first time in...maybe ever, I don’t look forward to the phone call I’ll be
making to my pot dea...I mean...gardener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">SHIT GETS EPIC...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Well
okay, by epic I don’t mean I’m wagering an epic amount of money. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">So,
it’s a new week and a new financial fuck myself challenge. This week I have a
clear focus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m in a writers group with
2 other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not even sure what
our writer’s group is called...I think it’s the Fuck Robert McKee Writers Group
Extravaganza, or Do The Write Thing...I use the latter name when I mention
the writers group on my resume.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyways,
Scott started out a script that had a Twilight Zone like feel to it, wrote 5
pages then passed it off to Warren. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
Warren wrote 5 pages and passed it off to me, then I wrote my bit then passed it
back to Scott.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re almost at the very
end of the script (now the 90 page mark)...so this week I need to stop procrastinating and write my
final bit of the script, either 5 to 10 pages, then Scott will finish it
off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Ya know what, let's go with 10 pages. This is my last entry to it, so I'll go bigger.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>If I don’t deliver the script to
Warren and Scott by this Sunday at 11:59 PM, Warren’s $40 debt with me will be
wiped clean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had thought of making a
deal that I’d never be allowed to crack immature jokes about his homosexuality
again, but that’s too big a risk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus,
he’d ultimately lose out on a shitload of laughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t wish to deprive my friend of the best medicine in the world. He may live longer due to my "funny" immature gay jokes. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">As
for Scott...I don’t know, he makes way more money than I do, so I’ll just say
that if I don’t deliver, I will never again try to force my musical taste down his
throat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No more showing up to his house
with a burned CD being like, “Yo, you gotta check this band out!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re awesome!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to him shortly getting back to me being like,
“Yeah...didn’t really like it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
shit will end if I don’t deliver my part of the script.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">A
little more about the script, the working title is, <i>The Epic Script</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because it is motherfucking epic, that’s why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The story is epic...well epic in just how
fucked up and insane it gets...and how stupid it is as well. I may have been the first person to turn a somewhat intruiging concept into a total farce, but I think Scott and Warren out-farced me at times, and now it seems like a competition of who can out-farce the other person in the most epic way. Characters introduced by Scott would immediately get killed off when Warren takes over, and when Warren tries to introduce new characters, I kill them off, and so on...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">On June 11th, 2009, when I finished my part and sent it to Scott for him to take over the script, here is the email he sent to Warren and I:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"><br />"Alright, yeah, that's it...I'm out. This is...I...what the fuck is wrong with youse guys? I don't want to have any part of this anymore. So I'm done. I'm out. This is just...really? Come on. I would like to take my name off of the credits and disown the both of you as friends."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">We told him that if he stopped, he's not a real writer, we may have threatened him a little bit, and he reluctantly continued the epic script. Fast forward to today... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;">Unfortunately for him, the epic script is still going, and worst of all...Warren and I are still his friends.</span><br />
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"></span><a href="http://www.thechingofcomedy.com/"> Click here to go back to: The Ching of Comedy</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-bidi;"></span> </div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828878353114111451.post-85429973915646284742013-03-09T14:51:00.003-08:002013-03-09T14:55:37.211-08:00The Diary of a wannabe writer - The financial fuck myself experiment....<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My name is Jeff Ching and lately I’ve become one lazy
fuck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a point where I had a
crazy amount of drive, and I had written 3 feature length screenplays in one
year...but that was a time where I was unemployed and too fucking lazy to look
for a job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I have a job, but I’m too
lazy to write screenplays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As you can
see, laziness is a part of my DNA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I
use that excuse?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of people like to
shit on lazy people, but...if I had a choice, I wouldn’t be lazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s God’s fault for putting that shit in my
DNA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s also an unfortunate reality that all of us film school
graduates have learned which is that the film industry simply sucks a lot of
cock. Maybe I’ll save that for another blog, this isn’t going to turn into me
bitching and whining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyways, it’s been a year and a half since I wrote
anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a massive well of
ideas, but I can’t seem to focus on one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What also doesn’t help is having access to the best DVD collection in
the world (yeah yeah, I’m sure people who’ve been over to my house will dispute
this, but fuck you guys!! I have the best DVD collection in the world) often
leads to getting home from work tired, and just wanting to watch something
good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I need to do something about this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Making a living off my screenwriting is still
my ultimate dream, and not writing anything sure as hell isn’t the way to
achieve it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, to give me some drive to
get back into writing, I’m doing a little experiment on myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the financial fuck myself plan which
makes more sense than America’s sequester plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I made a deal with a friend of mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>On March 17<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup>, I must deliver either 30 pages of a feature
length screenplay, a short film script, 3 episodes of a webseries, or the pilot
of a sitcom, and if I don’t deliver on this, I have to buy a quarter ounce of
weed and give it to my friend for free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For those of you non-stoners, that’s $65 I’m losing if I don’t deliver
on this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps I will do this every
single week or every two weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hopefully these financial threats will light a fire under my
ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who knows?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made this deal with my friend on March 3<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup>,
and I haven’t started writing anything yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In fact, this blog is the first thing I’ve written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With that being said, I think I’m going to
force myself to write one blog a week...I can’t guarantee they’ll be good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just want to write something honest about
my quest to make a living off writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While I may have very few talents, there is one thing that I’m good at,
correction...I’m fucking good at and that’s writing comedy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong, I would trade my ability
to write dick, poop and abortion jokes any day to be able to understand quantum
mechanics, and be able to look at a mathematical formula and be like, “Ohhh...so
that’s how the universe works.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But,
this is the talent I have...and perhaps putting on awesome laser shows, but
uhh...I think I’m going to stick with my writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On March 18<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup>, I will offer
closure to this anecdote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.thechingofcomedy.com/">Click here to go back to: The Ching of Comedy</a></span></div>
The Next Big Chinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09125753788070764943noreply@blogger.com0