Wednesday, January 10, 2024

The top 10 best movies of 2023

It's that time of year again. At the beginning of 2023, I would have given my pick for #1 a 0.05% chance of even making my top 10 list, let alone placing #1. That is still the most shocking thing by far about this year's top 10 list more than any other year. I had made a prediction of Past Lives topping my list when I had first read glowing reviews from people who saw it at Sundance. It's close, but not quite there. Without further ado...

Honorable mentions:
Air, Dream Scenario, Dungeons and Dragons, Super Mario Bros, Saltburn, Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant, Bystanders, Oppenheimer, The Subtle art of not giving a fuck, A Man called Otto, Theater Camp, The Iron Claw


10. Cocaine Bear   ****

When it comes to campy as fuck movies with titles that describe the whole plot (ie: Snakes on a Plane, Sharknado), Cocaine Bear is like...The Godfather of campy as fuck, entire plot described in its title movie subgenre. It is exactly what it needs to be, it doesn't take itself seriously, the actors are much better than a movie called Cocaine Bear really needs, but fuck it they're great at their flabbergastation at at the absurd plot they find themselves in. The intentionally awful CGI bear wreaking havoc on people is absolutely fucking hilarious. This movie was just an absolute blast to see with a packed audience.  "Directed by Elizabeth Banks". I already respected her a lot, but now she's just a total bad ass. 


9. Flora and Son  ****1/2


John Carney is obsessed with the healing nature of music. Every single one of his movies are about human connection through music... and he's even created his own subgenre of the realistic, low key musical. His movies are always heartwarming and charming movies for people who typically roll their eyes at "heartwarming and charming" movies. All his films end with the emotion of wanting to hug people around you...too bad I watched Flora and Son alone. I'm okay with John Carney making this kind of movie for his entire career, I'll be back for them all. This movie was just absolutely fucking delightful, and Eve Hewson puts on the best performance of any John Carney movie. She's a force to be reckon with.


8. Cram  ****1/2


I was sent this screener and asked to write a review for WylieWrites, and I was shocked at how enthralled I was by this movie. This is a 44 minute movie and this is most likely the movie on my list that no one's heard of. I wasn't even sure where to find it, but you can rent it on youtube for $3.99. It's worth it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtlvu4Masu4

Instead of the usual haunted house, we get a haunted library, and it's a horror movie about procrastination. What a concept! When you say that everything's been done, no. Not this movie.  I don't remember the last time I saw a horror movie so catered to nerds and academics. Cracking jokes about MLA vs. APA citation? Fuck yeah. 

This is the worst fever dream imaginable to someone who's left his entire essay till the night before. This almost feels like if Lisa Simpson fever dream, if she was trippin' on DMT. And the horror movie filmmaking is effective, and despite a very low budget, you don't feel the low budgetness of it. Director Abie Sidell has made a very creative horror short, and my pick for best horror of 2023. 


7. Anatomy of a Fall    ****1/2

I'm actually shocked that a Palme D'or winner at Cannes has made my list. 9/10 times, Palme D'or winners are boring as fuck, and when I saw this was 2.5 hours, I really didn't feel like watching it. Turns out, I was very wrong. This is the best courtroom drama in a very long time. It's a family drama cleverly disguised as a murder mystery. It's not about whether she killed her husband; it's all about every single aspect of her life examined under a microscope, and all that we learn about their fractured marriage. The big argument wins the, "My butt cheeks were clenched for the entire" scene award. Holy fuck that was tense. 

While I wasn't totally sure how I felt about the ending as the credits rolled, this is a movie that really strengthened postmortem. The more that I paced back and forth thinking about it, the better it got. It will stick with you for a long time.

6. Jules      ****1/2

This is E.T. of the 2020s. An alien's ship crashes into the backyard of Ben Kingsley. He tries to report to the police that an alien landed in his backyard, but of course everyone in his small town thinks he's just an old man who's losing it. Turns out the alien is rather friendly, and unthreatening, so Ben Kingsley lets him stay at his house until he fixes his flying saucer. Turns out, he also likes to eat apples and has a thing about collecting dead cats. 

Jules is the most charming take on alien movies. It's ultimately a friendship movie between three old people who would never associate with each other if they weren't the only three people in town aware of the alien's existence, and the alien himself. It finds just the right level of ridiculousness in its plot, and they have some fun rules when it comes to this particular alien.

Ultimately this is a movie that explores old age and coming to terms with your mortality. As much as I was laughing at the absurdity of the premise, the drama hits really fucking hard and it may have been the biggest tear jerker of the year. This was such a surprise and criminally under-rated.


5. Past Lives  ****1/2

One of the most memorable theatrical experiences of the year was the last 10 minutes of Past Lives. I felt like the whole audience was holding their breath. Absolute silence, as I feel like everyone was just inching closer to the screen and no daydreams, texts, or anything was going to take anybody's attention from the gravity of this moment. What a complicated love triangle. What is she going to do? 
Most Hollywood romances will make it very obvious to the audience who we should be cheering for; not Past Lives. She has something great with her current husband who is so understanding, but she also has great chemistry with her childhood sweetheart from South Korea and there's no doubt they'd be together today if she hadn't moved to America. And when it comes to her choice, I like the fact that it's a feel good ending to some, and a sad ending to others. 

I even recall the moment where I really thought I could keep it together. If I try hard enough, I can usually hold back tears, but then the editor uses one quick flashback shot and in my head, I was thinking, "Well done editor, but fuck you. The floodgate has opened and there's no fucking way I'll be able to hold back tears from this point on." That's not to say that it's a sad ending or a happy one, it's bittersweet. It's complicated. In a genre that's usually obvious in how the audience should feel, this one is simply true to life. 

On another note: Did you know that Celine Song only did 2 re-writes of the script before it went to production? Like, what in the actual fuck?!?! 

3.   
4. The Holdovers ****1/2


I think this comment by Mike Wood on facebook perfectly sums up the movie, so I'm going to copy and paste his comment:

"This was incredible! Never too saccharine, never too grim, never too emotionally-manipulative — everything was “just right”. It deserves to become an eternal holiday classic more than anything I’ve seen since the decade it’s set-in."

This is the Christmas movie for people who hate Christmas movies. I hope this becomes the new Christmas classic that people watch every single Christmas.

I'm going to try to make it a thing. Alexander Payne has an almost perfect resume when it comes to low key dramedies, but this could be his best.

3.   3. Shortcomings ****1/2

Asian representation in Hollywood has come a long way, since Crazy Rich Asians showed that a movie with an all Asian cast can make fuckloads of money. Let's be honest, that movie was kinda lame, superficial and mediocre, but look where we're at now...Everything Everywhere All At Once, Beef, Past Lives, and Shortcomings. I mentioned Crazy Rich Asians, because Shortcomings sure loves taking the piss out of that movie. 

Shortcomings is an Asian mumblecore. I never saw that coming, but I'm so glad it's a thing and I really hope for more! It's Randall Park's directorial debut, and he absolutely knocks it out of the park. I swear, that pun was totally unintentional.  I didn't even notice until I re-read it. Anyways...

The dialogue writing is so fucking funny, so many great one liners, and insults that can only be traded by two best friends who know each other so well and have fun with pushing each other's buttons. Justin H. Min is so good, playing a Japanese film snob (I found him very relatable at times) and a totally insufferable prick. He has a lot of clever dialogue, but sometimes you just want to yell at this fucking guy. He has so much potential if only he can keep his fucking mouth shut! His girlfriend Miko is way too good for him, and he's on the verge of wrecking everything good in his life, but maybe that's what he needs for him to finally understand his own shortcomings? By the end, I kinda grew to love this prick and was truly rooting for him to turn his life around. This is the kind of coming of age story I want to see more from Asian filmmakers, and this is the kind of script I would love to be able to write myself. 


2. Poor Things ****1/2

I love it when movies don't crumble under the weight of their hype. I saw multiple critics praise this as the best movie of the year. If only the movie was a bit shorter, it probably would have been my #1. Still though, watching Poor Things with a big audience truly was an experience. It's wild, weird as fuck, batshit crazy, but should we expect anything less from the director of Dogtooth and The Lobster? At the same time, Yorgos Lanthimos has never made a movie so epic in scale. If you thought Tim Burton was really good at world building, I think Poor Things is on another level. The set designs, the locations, cinematography, the mix of shooting styles...so much fucking imagination and originality. I can't even begin to describe the look, except that you have to see it for yourself. And I didn't think I'd say this either going in, but this is the funniest movie of the year, by a lot, and Emma Stone not only puts on the funniest performance of the year, but I may argue one of the best performances ever. From physical comedy, embodying the movements of the different phases of psychological development from infancy to adulthood to her brutally honest, no bullshit, straight to the point dialogue delivery.

Poor Things as an overall movie still is hard to describe. A borderline NC 17 rated, arthouse Barbie meets Frankenstein? Though instead of terrorizing people like the Frankenstein monster, Bella Baxter starts off with the mind of an infant to a true force of nature. Her inability to function in upper class society makes for some of the best fish out of water comedy, with this woman not yet grasping the concept of social etiquette. She does what the fuck she wants. If a baby is annoying her with crying, she'll go punch that baby in the face. Above being a comedy, or a fucked up visual odyssey, I think it's the best coming of age story. How Bella Baxter begins and the person she is at the end is truly something beautiful. I'll quote Emma Stone herself when she won her Golden Globe, "I think this is a romcom. In the sense of, Bella falls in love with life itself, rather than a person. She accepts the good and the bad in equal measure, and that really made me look at life differently; that all of it counts and all of it is important"


1. John Wick Chapter 4  *****

I I   I still cannot fucking believe that my #1 movie of the year is fucking John Wick Chapter 4. Did that mean 2023 was a weak year for cinema? No. This was a solid year for movies, but John Wick Chapter 4 just happens to be possibly the best action movie ever made, and I think that earns it the #1 spot. I'm still shocked. I thought it was going to be just a mediocre money grab.

By John Wick 3, I was getting a little tired of the series. Part 3 was waaay too fucking long and got tiresome at the end. So when I heard that John Wick Chapter 4 was almost 3 hours, my reaction was...what the fuck?!  It was such a deterrent that I didn't bother watching this at the theatre...that was dumb of me. 

Why didn't I see this visual spectacle on the big screen? Let's not even talk about the action yet. John Wick 4 is one of the most visually beautiful movies ever made. The cinematography, the colors, the visually stunning sets, the fact that the location scout discovered the most randomly jaw dropping locations in the world, the constantly gorgeous shot compositions. At times I didn't know whether I was more enthralled by the violence or the gorgeous light shows that were going on during action scenes. Pause the movie at any point, and that shot is a fucking painting. I hate that cliched phrase, but it's so true with this movie. This has to win for best cinematography and set designs. Don't pull the whole, "We don't recognize action movies" bullshit for best cinematography. 

As for the action scenes, I feel like Chad Stahelski had a mission to make the most epic action scenes of all time. The first three John Wicks are full of awesome action scenes, but part 4 simply out-does them all. Far more epic, visually stunning, and adding Donnie Yen to the mix truly surprised me. I expected a standard Asian martial artist, but he turned out to be maybe the single most bad ass action movie character ever. He's the best fucking character they ever introduced into the John Wick universe. 

Could this movie have been a bit shorter? Perhaps. But at 2 hours 50 mins, I was on board with all of it. The action is completely absurd, but I've never seen it directed with such style, beauty, and chaos. Nothing about this movie was half assed...well okay, perhaps the script. Not gonna lie there. Besides that though, John Wick 4 just looks like such a labor of love. It's almost as if Chad Stahelski is never going to make another movie again and he had to throw absolutely fucking everything on this one last movie. This is simply filmmaking at its absolute best.