Tuesday, January 26, 2016

The top 10 best movies of 2015...



Honorable mentions:
Backcountry, Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, The Walk, We Are Your Friends, Spring, Tangerine, Chappie, Ex Machina, Steve Jobs, Creed, Beasts of no Nation, Lace Crater, The Night Before, Kingsman, Predestination

10. Crimson Peak

If you didn't see Crimson Peak in Imax, you absolutely fucking missed out. In Imax, Crimson Peak was the most visceral, immersive horror movie experience I've had at a theatre The movie didn't even need 3-D to give me that immersive, "I am there in that haunted house" feeling. All this talk of "Crimson Peak is not really a horror, but it's a Victorian romance with horror", STFU! It's a horror movie with a Victorian romance to it.

This is horror filmmaking in its absolute top form. It's maybe the most beautiful looking horror film I've ever seen. I know it won't win, but god damn it, give them an Oscar for best art direction, as the haunted house is absolutely incredible and gorgeous to look at, might I add Oscars for cinematography, and sound editing/mixing as well. Name me one horror movie with more effective sound effects than this one.

All that aside, I think the performances are solid, I dug the romance, and while the movie picks its few moments of violence, holy fuck does the movie deliver on its violence and it really makes it count. If you haven't seen Crimson Peak, and if you don't have a big TV, try to seek out a friend with a big ass TV (at least 50 inches) with a damn good sound system as well. This is a horror movie to truly lose yourself in this world.

9. Cop Car

I thought TAKEN had the single best threatening scene of all time with Neeson's iconic, "I will find you and I will kill you" speech, but Cop Car has a scene where a character issues a threat to two children, and it's darkly hilarious, demented, and absolutely fucking menacing and it's a speech you will never ever forget. Cop Car states a case that sometimes simplicity is a good thing. A simple premise, two children find a cop car with keys in it, and they go for a joy ride, not knowing what's in the trunk, or the fact that the cop that the car belongs to is one crooked, evil fucker played by Kevin Bacon in one of his best roles. 

I've ranted about this a lot, but I'll do it again. You don't always need a big budget to make a thrilling movie. Cop Car had probably 1/100th of Fast and Furious Seven or MI's budget; while those movies were fun eye candy, they sure as hell didn't have the intensity and raise my pulse like COP CAR, where the action scenes are low key and subdued, but intense as fuck. That's what happens when you take the time to establish and develop the characters; you make the audience more invested in the action scenes (and kudos to the filmmakers for their leisure pace as I'm sure some people would get restless, but I thought the pacing was perfect). Very good dark comedy as well. It was sort of like Stand by Me meets Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. 

8. The Big Short

My picks for #8 and #7 are both movies about the real estate economic collapse clusterfuck of 2008, which take different approaches to the subject matter. My pick for #8 is a bigger, more grand scale explanation of the financial collapse, while my #7 pick tells a much more personal story. Both movies are great in their own ways, and it was almost tempting to make this spot a tie between both movies...but ties are for pussies.


Of all the movies nominated for best adapted screenplay, I really hope The Big Short gets this Oscar. It was also robbed of the best comedy golden globe award. What these filmmakers have done is incredibly difficult. To be able to take such a dry, complicated subject matter like the real estate - world economy collapse of 2008 and turn it into such an entertaining, hilarious as fuck comedy movie, while being educational and explaining every little detail about the financial collapse in simple terms to people who don't understand this financial shit at all is a huge fucking accomplishment. This must have been one difficult script to write. Credit goes also to Adam Mckay for directing this movie such an energetic, unique style. It's a movie that very well could have been boring, but a boring moment is rarely ever found. 

What a solid cast! Steve Carell was robbed of an Oscar nomination as his role was far more memorable than Christian Bale's. And Ryan Gosling makes for one of my all time favorite narrators. Every time he's on screen, he never fails to make the audience laugh. Adam Mckay has manged to make one of the funniest movies of the year out of a subject matter that really seems difficult to make funny, so kudos to him! I now forgive Mckay for Anchor Man 2.

7. 99 Homes

I'm giving this one the slight edge over The Big Short. Is it necessarily the better movie? They're both great movies in what they try to achieve, but I think this one resonated with me a little more as it tells a more personal story. 99 Homes moreso than Big Short puts a lot more focus on the victims; the low income people who's lives have been completely turned upside down due to the greed of the richest 1%. An early scene of our protagonist (Andrew Garfield) and his family getting evicted is so fucking raw and intense, and unless you're one of the heartless 1%, that scene will absolutely make your blood boil.

99 Homes is fascinating because it does present an interesting moral conundrum. After being evicted, unable to find work, and moving his family into a fucking motel to live, through perhaps contrived circumstances, he ends up getting a job with the ruthless business man that evicted him (a role that absolutely should have won Michael Shannon an Oscar, let alone nominated...what the fuck, Oscars?). Michael Shannon's character teaches him the business and all the shady illegal ways to make a fuckload of money, and Andrew Garfield's character soon enough takes over the job, evicting poor people from their homes.

It makes for a very interesting moral conundrum. It's easy to judge him, but for the rough shit he goes through, can you really blame him? Can you say with all certainty that you wouldn't do the same thing if your family was evicted and living in a motel?  Maybe greed is within us all. If we had the same opportunities to get rich as the Wallstreet bankers, how do we know we wouldn't jump all over that shit?


99 Homes has been described as the Wallstreet of real estate, and the similarities are definitely there including the relationship between the young man and his mentor (Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas/Andrew Garfield and Michael Shannon), the borderline villainous greedy rich guy that takes the young man under his wing and teaches him the business. Michael Douglas's Gekko and Michael Shannon's Rick Carver even both have a monologue justifying greed. The similiarities are definitely there, but 99 Homes to me the much better movie, with better developed characters, a more interesting moral conundrum, and as good as Michael Douglas's "Greed is good" speech is, I think Michael Shannon's Noah's Ark speech about how America only bails out the winners is phenomenal, and yes, the latter takes a huge shit on the former.

6. Inside Out

Pixar's best movie since Toy Story 3, and a definite return to greatness! This is what we want from Pixar movies which has been lacking for the past few years, a visually dazzling movie that will entertain the kids, but an intellectually stimulating movie for adults, as well as one that will emotionally resonate as well, with an original premise.

Inside Out is probably the most psychologically complex movie Pixar has done so far. The human brain is the single most complex object in the entire universe, and the representation of the world of the brain in Inside Out is done with so much imagination. Making characters out of each human emotion and how it controls the person is brilliant. I have read a complaint which I do agree with, which is that Joy and Sadness's journey does go on a little long (this is mostly to entertain the kids), but their journey does lead to the movie's big moral which I won't give away, but god damn what an important life lesson it is.

5. The Stanford Prison Experiment

Here's a rare movie that gave me Psychology 101 nostalgia. Instead of the excitement of seeing a novel come to life in a movie screen, I felt like a huge nerd exclaiming, "This study I read about in my psychology textbook over a decade ago is being adapted to the big screen! Can't wait!" The experiment in a nutshell: Dr. Philip Zimbardo designed an experiment, taking 18 students, then splitting them up: 9 guards and 9 prisoners, using a school basement as a makeshift prison, and the experiment was supposed to last for 2 weeks. Keep in mind these are all smart, educated students, with the identity roles picked at random. The results were truly shocking when the guards ended up taking their roles way too seriously, abusing their powers to no end, while the people playing the role of prisoners ended up being passive, folding to the power of authority, even being convinced of their fake wrong doings to end up in prison. It's a fucking weird thing about the human psyche, someone can appear to be a very normal, nice, level headed person...slap a cop uniform on, give them a little power, and they completely transform into a different person.

This is a fascinating, disturbing psychological study of conformity, authority, and identity roles and the roles that it plays on the human psyche. What was the most interesting insight the movie provided which I don't remember reading in the textbook, the actual psychologists who designed the experiment themselves, the experiment even turned them into monsters; in fact Dr. Philip Zimbardo who designed the experiment arguably became the biggest monster himself out of everyone; even worse than the guards and couldn't even see it. A small part of me was rooting for the prisoners to revolt, but...that didn't happen in real life and showed that ultimately humanity bows down to power and obedience prevails. This is not an easy movie to sit through as it's frustrating and bound to anger you to no end, but it's the truth about humanity. I don't remember the last time the very last line of dialogue in a movie sent chills down my spine the way this one did.


4. What We Do in the Shadows

Easily the funniest movie of 2015. If I had seen this movie in theatres, there would have been cases of missing certain jokes due to laughing so hard at the previous one. At least watching at home, I was able to pause the movie, wait for my uncontrollable laughter to stop then resume. It is unfortunate the movie loses a bit of steam towards the last act, but for the number of gargantuan belly laughs this movie gives, it's very forgivable.

Vampire movies and shows have been done to death, but I love the idea of a mockumentary/reality show premise of simply following the lives of 3 vampires living in the same apartment. Among vampire problems such as sunlight, this movie addresses a bigger issue such as, how do you bite into a human without hitting one of the main arteries? Although this movie is a comedy, it sure as hell doesn't hold back on its gore which it uses to a hilarious effect. Premises like these, I often think like a comedy writer and think and complain about potential jokes that they missed. This one however, I can't think of any missed opportunities.They took the premise and made the absolute funniest movie possible.

3. Unfriended

A horror movie that takes place entirely in a Skype chatroom,where the horror comes in the form of some sort of cyberghost. Talk about an idea that's audacious as fuck, but also could have been a colossal failure as well. Whatever doubts I had were silenced immediately in the opening scene of the movie where my jaw just dropped wide open. Unfriended is creative as fuck in how it gets its scares. 
It's easily the most under-rated horror movie in the...forever? It got very little love from the critics and tanked at the box office. But, perhaps seeing it in the theatre may not have been the best way to experience it. I very heavily recommend that the best way to watch Unfriended is on your computer, by yourself, in the dark with your headphones on. It'll almost make you feel like your in that chatroom with the characters. 

Over the past decade, a lot of the best horror movies have leaned a little more to the comedic side, like Cabin in the Woods and You're Next, but Unfriended really is the best pure horror since The Descent (Which is saying a lot, as The Descent is my all time favorite horror). Generally in horrors, when a suspenseful moment is happening, I smile in anticipation, in my brain I'm saying, "Give me a good scare! Come on! Give me something good." While watching Unfriended, I actually sat there, tense as fuck, not asking for a good scare at all, and it's so rare for a horror movie to have that effect on me.

Talk about a gimmick and running all the way with it, Unfriended finds such unique ways to get scares out of its skype format. For example, even something like a computer lag is so good at building up suspense and tension. Beyond a horror, it's a very relevant parable about the horrors of cyber bullying and how easy it is to use the internet to ruin someone's life. While most horrors have shallow, 1 dimensional characters, here's a movie that constantly presents the characters with tough moral choices, and presents a bunch of normal, seemingly good people and slowly reveals more and more, challenging these characters' notions of themselves, seeing how they all believe they are good people who haven't done anything wrong.

In our present technological age, where smartphones dominate, people feel the need to document everything in life, and privacy is slowly being stripped away, and anyone can get caught doing anything and put on youtube for the world to see, I think Unfriended really is the most relevant horror movie of our time.

2. Dope

It's cliched to say that Dope was dope. Maybe I'll use this analogy and say that Dope is the equivalent of the finest, stankiest, crystal laden purple kush you can find. (Maybe a bad analogy as the drug used in the movie is MDMA, or "molly", a term I had never heard until I saw this movie) This is easily the most entertaining movie of the year, and one of the funniest. It's like a mix of Boyz N the Hood, Friday, a tiny little bit of Dear White People and maybe a bit of a black version of Better Luck Tomorrow. When it comes to black people comedies, I think this one just might be my all time favorite...and yes, I'm picking this one over Friday. None of the comedy feels forced. All the humor feels so natural to the situation and it never feels like the filmmakers are trying to get laughs.


What is a harder life than being a black guy living in the ghetto? Being a black nerd living in the ghetto. I know some people will complain that the narrative is all over the place, but I enjoyed just going with it, as it's nice when you're unable to predict where the movie's going. To quote James Berardinelli's review as he sums it up a lot better than I could, "Criss-crossing genres like an out-of-control hip hop song, Famuyiwa dabbles in the teen sex comedy, the urban gangster story, and the fish out of water scenario. He gives us suspense, gross-out humor, a cute romance, and a sermon about the status of race in America."

Sadly Dope under-performed at the box office, and I hope it can find an audience when it's out on DVD. I hope that Dope can join the likes of Do the Right Thing, and Boyz N The Hood as the most iconic black movies as I think it's every bit as good.

1. The Voices

This movie easily gets the #1 spot, as it's simply the most out there movie by far this year. It's the most fucked up, most audacious, most original, and unforgettable movie of the year. If you look up the word "audacious", the end credits of The Voices appear...granted you're using some sort of new-age dictionary that actually has voices. K, let's move on from this "looking shit up in the dictionary" cliche.

I do have to start this by saying that this is a really really fucked up movie. I would even say that Dexter comes off as a Disney show in comparison to how dark and fucked up The Voices is. You've been warned. This movie is not for everyone, but if you're willing to go into really dark place, you will appreciate The Voices. Once the violence starts...oh man. 

Talk about transcending my expectations, this is the best serial killer movie I've seen in a very long time. The trailer makes it look like a one dimensional dark comedy (our main character has full on conversations with his pets...who are awesomely hilarious characters might I add); fact is, I don't remember the last serial killer movie that went as deep into the psychology of a psychopath, and his slow descent into madness as well as this one, which include his past and the mental problems of his mother.

The filmmakers sucessfully put you into the guy's head. When he's off medication, he imagines that his pets actually talk to him (hilariously his cat is constantly shit-talking him and sort of like his id, convincing him to do evil shit, while his dog is the loyal one, always making him feel better about himself, and sort of his super ego, being the voice of reason)...and shit gets darker from there. The relationship between psychopath and his talking pets is really funny stuff. You'll never see a movie like BABE the same again after seeing The Voices. When he take his meds, you can see how bleak his world seems, and you kind of understand why he wants to go through life without his meds, which unfortunately leads to him being a huge danger to society.

The Voices is a phenomenal character study, on top of being such a morbidly dark comedy, and being pretty fucking suspenseful as well. I was surprised to learn that this was directed by the same girl who directed Persepolis. Talk about a female filmmaker with much bigger figurative balls than the majority of male filmmakers to make a movie this fucked up.

Worst Movie of the year:

My pick from earlier this year still says; It's the pretentious, most annoying postmodern movie Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. Yes, I saw Pixels and while that movie was a steaming pile of shit, this one just annoyed me a lot more. Going into Pixels I knew what I was going to get. 

If this movie didn't come with such a wave of praise, I might be easier on it, but this is one case where I truly feel the critics got it wrong. This movie is irritating! Instead of trying to be an authentic dramedy about someone dying of cancer, it becomes a big self indulgent, hipster, try so hard to be quirky and hip wank fest. First time I'll say this, I think intellectual, postmodern pandering is every bit as irritating as pandering to the lowest common denominator. This movie reeked of filmmakers being all pleased with themselves being like, "Hey look, we're referencing Ingmar Bergman, look how smart we are! We know our classics." Or even more irritating, having our main character read his college essay in a Werner Herzog accent. Right, like every teenager in highschool knows who Werner Herzog is. It feels like a movie that panders to intellectuals who are pleased with themselves for getting all these obscure references. It's a movie that lacks its own identity. Enough with this meta shit already! I don't see how people can be annoyed by JUNO trying so hard to be hip and quirky, but defending this movie. This one is 1000 times more irritating, with a much shittier sense of humor.

Here's the thing...this movie's comedy writing is fucking awful! The characters are rather 1 dimensional and the movie spends so much time trying to be all hip and cool that the drama just completely fails. Barely any of the movie felt authentic. It really is sad state of things especially for an indy film when I sit there watching it, wishing I was watching the mainstream, chick flick tearjerker The Fault in Our Stars instead. That movie sure as hell has much better comedy writing, much better developed characters, better performances, and it's simply a more powerful, authentic drama about cancer.

While I haven't seen every cancer movie, from what I have seen...worst cancer movie ever! 
 

 Other Awards:

Best use of 3-D in a movie: The Walk
by a fucking landslide. No 2015 movie was even close. If you didn't see The Walk in imax 3d, you  missed out.

Best pot dealer character/performance of all time: Michael Shannon in The Night Before

Best movies to watch stoned: Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, Kingsman, and The Night Before 

Best action scene: Kingsman...the church massacre...holy fucking shit! Maybe one of the best action scenes ever made.

The metaphorical bonerific award for most beautiful film to look at: Crimson Peak

Most unfairly shat on movies that were actually kind of awesome: We Are your Friends, and Pan

Single best line of dialogue: I won't give away the line, but What we Do in the Shadows, a vampire explains why virgin blood is the best, and uses a sandwich as an analogy to explain it. All I can say is, I laughed so hard, I had to pause the movie to calm down. 

Best opening scene: Spring (I was in tears in the first 3 minutes. Absolutely fucking powerful)

Best Ending: The end credits of The Voices. All I have to add to that is an, "Ahahahaha!" and you'll only understand if you watch it. The fucking audacity of these filmmakers! (I mean that in a good way)
Runner up: The Stanford Prison Experiment 




Thursday, July 30, 2015

The top 10 best movies of the 1st half of 2015...

Ching's Top 10 best movies of the first half of 2015...and the worst movie of the year so far

Welcome to my top 10 list of the best movies of the first half of 2015, and my pick for the worst movie of the year so far. I know I'm going to get shit from a lot of people as my pick for worst movie was a big hit with many critics. 

Without further ado, here we go...

Honorable Mentions:

Trainwreck, About Elly, Kung Fury, Entourage



10. Kingsman  ****

My pick for the best action movie of the year. The church massacre scene...just, holy shit! Quite possibly the best action scene ever made! Then there's that mushroom clouds scene...okay, not as cool as the church action scene, but trippy as fuck, surreal, and kind of mind blowing...literally. While not quite as good as Kick-Ass, I will still refer to Kingsman as the Kick-Ass of spy movies. I'm down with turning this into a series, and I'll be more excited for the next installment of this than the next Bond.


9. Predestination   ****

This is a movie I feel like I have to watch at least 3 or 4 times to fully get the plot. Even reading the plot summary on wikipedia after the movie, trying my best to comprehend everything, I felt like my brain was hurting. Of all time travel movies, this one is the biggest mind fuck, and perhaps the most mind blowing as well.

 Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FcK_UiVV40


8. Cobain: A Montage of Heck  ****

Surprised to say that the trippiest movie of 2015 is a documentary about Kurt Cobain, which kind of reminded me of the brilliant short Canadian documentary RYAN. I was expecting your standard talking heads with concert footage documentary, and was very surprised by the incredibly surreal style of the movie, with a psychorealist style, depicting the psychological breakdown of Kurt Cobain. They have a lot of good source material including Kurt Cobain's own notebook (which is animated in such a cool way), audio interviews with Kurt Cobain, where his stories are animated in a rotoscoped style, interviews with his family, and what's even kind of haunting is actual home video footage of him and Courtney Love. It's documentary filmmaking that thinks way outside the box. It's definitely the best documentary I've seen about a musician.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqyPMyC2T0s


7. Ex Machina  ****

This is a movie that you appreciate more after the credits, having time to think it over and discuss it. In fact, I actually had this movie ranked lower on my list originally, but it was a conversation I had with a friend of mine that lead me to give it a higher rank, as our talk made me appreciate the movie's complexities more. 

This is the most low key AI movie I've seen in a long time. Primarily a cast of 3 actors, an ultra rich scientist who's designed the most human looking robot imaginable, the expert that's asked to come talk to the robot, and determine whether she can pass as an actual human being, and of course the robot her...itself? When you develop a machine with human-like consciousness, should the robots get the same rights as humans? Is it wrong to destroy a machine, if it has consciousness?

Ex Machina is smart, unpredictable, with its fair share of fucked up moments. Not only do you not know where the plot's going, the characters' motivations are unknown, including the robot herself. Ex Machina never goes into overblown Hollywood territory, it stays low key, with some nice twists to it. Admittedly I was a little restless at times, but the 3rd act of the movie completely won me over.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI8XBKb6DQk


6. Chappie  ****
So...this is not quite as smart of an AI movie as my #7 pick, in fact, the movie gets so utterly absurd towards the end. On the other hand, I never expected that a movie about a scientist being able to put human consciousness into a robot for the first time (the scientist raving about a robot that can write poetry) would end up in an absolutely hilarious movie where a group of thugs get a hold of the robot and turn Chappie unknowingly into a gangsta robot. The scene of Chappie stealing cars is one of the funniest things!! Hilarious all the way through, then Hugh Jackman is some evil dude that unleashes his super duper ass kicking robot, and when it turns into a full blown action movie, it delivers far better robot action than anything in the Transformers movie. So yes, this is a leave your brain at the door movie, but a damn good one!  

5. Spring  ****

This is a very interesting arthouse blending of genres to which I have to say, I wish I could be ranking this movie higher. Kudos to the filmmakers for being inspired by Before Sunrise and saying, "What if we made a horror movie version of Before Sunrise?" Man meets beautiful woman who turns out to be some crazy transforming...I still don't know what to call her, but it's a more complicated explanation than just being a werewolf. Spring has easily the most powerful opening I can remember in a long time. 3 minutes into the movie, I was already in tears.

Once it turns into a romance...unfortunately the couple don't quite have the chemistry of Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight. Once it goes into horror movie mode and the guy realizes what type of beautiful beast he's fallen in love with, its plot is more complicated than you'd expect, and it's fun going along with the movie's surprises. With the horror, there's a sweetness to it and some brilliant comedic bits. If only the chemistry between the couple was better, this really could have been #1.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=668ZdEbXlPY


4. Inside Out  ****1/2

Pixar's best movie since Toy Story 3, and a definite return to greatness! This is what we want from Pixar movies which has been lacking for the past few years, a visually dazzling movie that will entertain the kids, but an intellectually stimulating movie for adults, as well as one that will emotionally resonate as well, with an original premise.

Inside Out is probably the most psychologically complex movie Pixar has done so far. The human brain is the single most complex object in the entire universe, and the representation of the world of the brain in Inside Out is done with so much imagination. Making characters out of each human emotion and how it controls the person is brilliant. I have read a complaint which I do agree with, which is that Joy and Sadness's journey does go on a little long (this is mostly to entertain the kids), but their journey does lead to the movie's big moral which I won't give away, but god damn what an important life lesson it is.


3. What we do in the shadows  ****1/2

It's a tough fight between this and my pick for #2 for funniest movie of 2015, but I think I'll give the slight edge to this one. If I had seen this movie in theatres, there would have been cases of missing certain jokes due to laughing so hard at the previous one. At least watching at home, I was able to pause the movie, wait for my uncontrollable laughter to stop then resume. It is unfortunate the movie loses a bit of steam towards the last act, but for how good the jokes are, it's very forgivable.

Vampire movies and shows have been done to death, but I love the idea of a mockumentary/reality show premise of simply following the lives of 3 vampires living in the same apartment. Among vampire problems such as sunlight, this movie addresses a bigger issue such as, how do you bite into a human without hitting one of the main arteries? Although this movie is a comedy, it sure as hell doesn't hold back on its gore which it uses to a hilarious effect. Premises like these, I often think like a comedy writer and think and complain about potential jokes that they missed. This one however, I can't think of any missed opportunities.They took the premise and made the absolute funniest movie possible.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAZEWtyhpes


2. Dope  ****1/2

It's cliched to say that Dope was dope. Maybe I'll use this analogy and say that Dope is the equivalent of the finest, stankiest, crystal laden purple kush you can find. (Maybe a bad analogy as the drug used in the movie is MDMA, or "molly", a term I had never heard until I saw this movie) This is easily the most entertaining movie of the year, and one of the funniest. It's like a mix of Boyz N the Hood, Friday, a tiny little bit of Dear White People and maybe a bit of a black version of Better Luck Tomorrow. When it comes to black people comedies, I think this one just might be my all time favorite...and yes, I'm picking this one over Friday. None of the comedy feels forced. All the humor feels so natural to the situation and it never feels like the filmmakers are trying to get laughs.


What is a harder life than being a black guy living in the ghetto? Being a black nerd living in the ghetto. I know some people will complain that the narrative is all over the place, but I enjoyed just going with it, as it's nice when you're unable to predict where the movie's going. To quote James Berardinelli's review as he sums it up a lot better than I could, "Criss-crossing genres like an out-of-control hip hop song, Famuyiwa dabbles in the teen sex comedy, the urban gangster story, and the fish out of water scenario. He gives us suspense, gross-out humor, a cute romance, and a sermon about the status of race in America."

Sadly Dope under-performed at the box office, and I hope it can find an audience when it's out on DVD. I hope that Dope can join the likes of Do the Right Thing, and Boyz N The Hood as the most iconic black movies as I think it's every bit as good.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L41xwM8tIRQ


1. The Voices  ****1/2

I do have to start this by saying that this is a really really fucked up movie. I would even say that Dexter comes off as a Disney show in comparison to how dark and fucked up The Voices is. You've been warned. This movie is not for everyone, but if you're willing to go into a really dark, fucked up territory, this is a very original movie you will not forget anytime soon. I was conflicted on whether to give #1 to this or DOPE, but I think I have to go with this one for its originality and it sheer audacity. If you look up the word "audacity" in the dictionary, the end credits of The Voices should be in it. Only people who've seen it will know what I'm talking about. 

Talk about transcending my expectations, this is the best serial killer movie I've seen in a very long time. The trailer makes it look like a one dimensional dark comedy (our main character has full on conversations with his pets...who are awesomely hilarious characters might I add); fact is, I don't remember the last serial killer movie that went as deep into the psychology of a psychopath, and his slow descent into madness as well as this one. The Voices is a phenomenal character study, on top of being such a morbidly dark comedy, and being pretty fucking suspenseful as well. I was surprised to learn that this was directed by the same girl who directed Persepolis. Talk about a female filmmaker with much bigger figurative balls than the majority of male filmmakers to make a movie this fucked up.

Trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hQpV9Q0A7E


Worst movie of 2015 so far... 

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl  **

I am sure there were worse movies than this, but I didn't see them. If this movie didn't come with such a wave of praise, I might be easier on it, but this is one case where I truly feel the critics got it wrong. This movie is irritating! Instead of trying to be an authentic dramedy about someone dying of cancer, it becomes a big self indulgent, hipster, try so hard to be quirky and hip wank fest. First time I'll say this, I think intellectual, postmodern pandering is every bit as irritating as pandering to the lowest common denominator. This movie reeked of filmmakers being all pleased with themselves being like, "Hey look, we're referencing Ingmar Bergman, look how smart we are! We know our classics." Or even more irritating, having our main character read his college essay in a Werner Herzog accent. It feels like a movie that panders to intellectuals who are pleased with themselves for getting all these obscure references. It's a movie that lacks its own identity. I'm getting tired of this postmodern bullshit. Some movies do it well, DOPE made some really cool references. This one runs it into the ground. I don't see how people can be annoyed by JUNO trying so hard to be hip and quirky, but defending this movie. This one is 1000 times more irritating, with a much shittier sense of humor.

Here's the thing...this movie's comedy writing is fucking awful! The characters are rather 1 dimensional and the movie spends so much time trying to be all hip and cool that the drama just completely fails. Barely any of the movie felt authentic. It really is sad state of things especially for an indy film when I sit there watching it, wishing I was watching the mainstream, chick flick tearjerker The Fault in Our Stars instead. That movie sure as hell has much better comedy writing, much better developed characters, better performances, and it's simply a more powerful, authentic drama about cancer. 

Of all the critics, David Edelstein truly got it right:

Thursday, May 23, 2013

A new financial fuck myself experiment - financial fuck myself get in good shape and become a bad ass martial artist along the way experiment...

First off, my latest short film that got into the Toronto Indy Film Fest - CHASING ROADRUNNER is now available to watch at chingofcomedy.com  Please watch it if you haven’t had the chance to.  Okay...

The Financial fuck myself experiment has been pretty successful at getting my lazy ass writing again.  Now in attempt to further better myself, I will be extending this fuck myself experiment to my own personal health and fitness...and hopefully becoming a bad ass martial artist along the way.  Yes, I know I haven’t updated my writing experiment blog in a while, I’ll do that soon. 

It’s bad when I try to flex my muscle in attempt to intimidate someone, and then all I get is laughter.  People would say, “It’s almost as if you don’t have any muscles at all.”  I then try to tell people that I have stealthy muscles and that taking a punch from me is like getting hit by an Obama drone attack, but no one seems to believe me.    

Some people who see me, a 6’2” guy, but incredibly scrawny think I’m completely wasting my height by...ya know, being scrawny and boney as fuck.  The #1 most clichéd question I get from people who marvel at my height is whether I play basketball and when I tell them I don’t, they look so disappointed, as if I’m wasting this height of mine.  But, I’m not wasting my height.  Hey guys, you know what’s awesome about being tall? Being able to see over your short midget asses!!  You know what’s a way more fun sport?  Curling!  No jokes, curling is actually a lot of fun.  And badminton...that’s a sport where I use my height to my advantage. 

Anyways...

There’s a reason you never see me posting shirtless pictures of myself.  It’s not because it’s a douchey thing to do.  It’s because I really have no upper body to show off.  I don’t even have a six pack which is kind of sad for how skinny I am.  Don’t get me wrong, if I had a 6 pack, I would totally post shirtless pictures every day.  If I had photoshop skills, I’d totally photoshop a 6 pack on myself...but sadly, my photoshop skills are as bad as my upper body.

My good friend Richard Fung (The sensei of Fung Fu) decided a year ago he needed to get in good shape.  So, he posted a picture of his somewhat flabby self, then went to the gym steadily 4 days a week.  He posted a picture of himself a year later, and the dude is fucking ripped.  He had a goal, he committed, and the results speak for themselves.      

I’m not going to make that commitment.  4 days a week lifting weights is just too much.  Why?  Because weight lifting fucking sucks!  Even lighting weights once a week is too much.  It’s about as fun as loading heavy shit into a cube van.  Seriously, weight lifting is just lots of pain, and a shitload of boredom to go along with the pain, might I add a shitload of insecurity as I watch other people in the gym lifting like 10 times what I’m lifting.  The only time I would be interested to return to a weight room would be if I showed up with like 4 other guys on Halloween to the YMCA, and we were all dressed up like a different member of the village people. I asked the YMCA employees if that was ever done and he said no.

Back on topic...So, what do I plan to do to get in shape?  Kickboxing class once a week.  It’s a start.  Maybe if I get in better shape, it’ll be more than that, but baby steps is what I need.

For those of you that have never attended, kickboxing class is the absolute most intense work out imaginable.  I used to think a punk rock moshpit was the most excessively sweat inducing activity, but it’s actually nothing in comparison to a kickboxing class.  When you go into the change room, the floor is like a skating rink of other people’s sweat, and after one kickboxing class, there’s not a single muscle in the body that isn’t in pain.  I remember having to roll out of bed, because I couldn’t sit up.  While I don’t have weights at my disposal, I figure the excessive amount of push ups, sit ups, and planking should suffice.  If I can commit to this class once a week for at least a year, I think I’ll be in pretty good shape. 

Even better, I’ll hopefully become somewhat decent at kickboxing.  I’ve always had a fascination for the martial arts.   Despite the fact that kickboxing class is 90 minutes of suffering and pain, it’s at least kind of fun.  I’ve given up on weights, but I think I can stick to this.

Now, I’ve accepted that laziness has been written into my DNA, so I need to get around it.  I now have a new financial fuck myself plan.  A good friend of mine...let’s call him Dick Siemens (this is a real name. I ain’t makin this shit up).  He has a really big debt with another friend of mine...let’s call him Jakov Mehboob (okay, this name isn’t real, but there really is someone out there named Jakov, and Mehboob is a much more common name than you’d expect).  I absolutely must attend one kickboxing class a week.   Mr. Siemens will text me every Sunday night to find out if I went to kickboxing class or not.  If the answer is no, I have to give $25 to Jakov to which he will castrate the $25 off Dick’s debt. 

Now, there are exemptions to this.  If I didn’t make it to kickboxing class, but I did have a really intense work out in another form (ie: playing squash with my older brother...trust me, this is tiring as fuck!!, or I went to a punk rock show with a really rockin moshpit), then that’s good enough substitute workout that I don’t have to pay.  Or I get sick, it’s probably not a good idea to go to class and risk infecting other people.  Or if I’m on vacation, but that one’s obvious. 


But otherwise, I better get my lazy ass into kickboxing class once a week , or my wallet will take even more vicious rapings.  I’m not going to blog every week about this like I do with the writing experiment, but I’ll keep a score card for those of you that want to know how I’m doing.  This deal takes affect this week and will go for the rest of 2013.  Who knows what the future has in store?  Maybe a year from now, you’ll see a shitload of shirtless pics with my bad ass 6 pack flooding the internet.  

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 7 - I'm back to playing 500 ball!


THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL
I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.


RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:
I needed to write a short film by April 30th or I'd have to buy 5 grams of we....soil and give it to my friend for free. To this date, my financially threatening muse has gotten 12 grams of free soil. Anyways, I had a very crazy week-end (unrelated note, The Croods 3D is one motherfucking trippy ass movie!), and on Monday when she came by to pick stuff up, I gave her a recap of my crazy weekend, then I told her it would really help me if instead of the 11:59 PM deadline on Tuesday, she let me work all night on Tuesday if necessary and the script would be in her inbox early on Wednesday morning. She said no problem, just get it done. 
So, Tuesday rolled around, after getting back from work, I had maybe written up to page 3 in the previous days. I ate, watched The Daily show, took a half hour nap and then took my uhh...creative medicine which is taken by uhh...inhaling smoke.
1 A.M is when I started, and at 6 a.m I had finally finished the short script. It's currently 22 pages long, which I definitely want to make shorter, but for now I left all the jokes in. Result: I won, motherfuckers!
Is it good? I think it turned out pretty good. It's a romantic comedy, and a satire about today's cellphone culture. Most interesting thing that happened; I originally planned for a low key ending, but at 4 a.m, a completely different ending came to my brain. An ending that may be totally ridiculous, but far more memorable than my original ending. I still don't know if this ending that came to my head in a state of exhaustion is good. I'll wait to hear back.
So, with this short script complete...perhaps, I might be shooting a new short film this summer. Though the original concept of the script would have been much easier to shoot. The new stuff I added in will cost more $$$$ and more headaches too. Who knows?
So, that now makes me 3 for 6 in this writing experiment.
THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:
 
I'm going with the same challenge I gave to myself two weeks ago, but failed. Write 2 blogs within 10 days: My blog about the worst & most over-rated movies of 2012, and a Roger Ebert blog...something I should have done much earlier, but something's better than nothing. The deadline is April 12th, 11:59 PM. Once again, here's an opportunity for an easy $25. Email me your paypal email address, and I'll send $25 to 2 people. How I pick who gets paid? I don't know. It'll be random.
 
Main reason I'm not going going to write anything new outside of blogging is because I'll take some time to go through my sitcom pilot and my short film and re-write and revise. Re-writes are equally as important as the writing itself. 
 
Recap of the previous writing challenges:
Experiment 5 - The due date was 420, due time: 4:20 PM. An HQ of weed...I mean soil, was on the line.
I needed to either write episode 2 of my sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human Project”.
RESULT – I LOST
Yeah, I texted my friend on 420 asking for an extension to Sunday night and I’d add in an extra 1.5 grams if I lost.Then on Sunday, I woke up hung over as shit from the big 5 year college reunion party the night before.I tried to write, but man...writing while hungover is just...not...good!It’s like trying to take a shit after someone slipped a constipation pill into your drink.So, I’m now 2 for 5. I’m currently playing 400 ball, which is like...Blue Jays bad.I need to win the next challenge to be better than the baseball the blue jays are playing.
EXPERIMENT 4 - I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where I recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger Ebert. As you can see, those blogs have not been posted, so I “lost” the challenge. If I had lost, I was going to paypal $25 to two people who posted theirpaypal email address or messaged me with it. Well...

I LOST...SORT OF.
A bunch of people did read my blog, but no one bothered to leave me their paypal address, therefore I didn’t lose any money after all. So ha! Take that bitches! You lost an opportunity for an easy $25. Now I still do want to write those blogs, but I’ll save it for another time.
What can I say? I had a busy week-end, I got lazy, and I noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal address...laziness got the best of me again. So sort of thank you for not posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for next time...post your paypal address. Tough love is what I need to not be lazy. It looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose will likely end up getting me drunk.


Experiment 3: I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.


THE RESULT: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning.


It was nice to finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:




EXPERIMENT 2 - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:
http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html


WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”
And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to it."
RESULT – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers next time I see you. They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip.


EXPERIMENT 1 – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:


CURRENT TALLY:


3 wins
3 losses

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Financial Fuck myself writing experiment part 6 - I'm doing as poorly as the Blue Jays...


Financial fuck myself writing experiment - Part 6

THE EXPERIMENT IN A NUTSHELL
I went through a year and a half of writing absolutely nothing. That shit’s fucked up. I had to unfuck the situation by making threats to financially fuck myself in an attempt to fuck the laziness out of... myself...with a big rusty pole or a splintery post (anyone know what song I'm quoting there?). Each week I set a goal, I will write X amount of pages on a feature, or sitcom, webseries, whatever. If I don’t reach my goal, my wallet takes a vicious raping.

RECAP Of the most recent writing challenge:
The due date was 420, due time: 4:20 PM. An HQ of weed...I mean soil, was on the line.
I needed to either write episode 2 of my sitcom, a short film (I always leave a short film as an option, as it’s been a while since I’ve directed a short), or 3 episodes of my webseries “The Human Project”.

RESULT – I LOST
Yeah, I texted my friend on 420 asking for an extension to Sunday night and I’d add in an extra 1.5 grams if I lost.  Then on Sunday, I woke up hung over as shit from the big 5 year college reunion party the night before.  I tried to write, but man...writing while hungover is just...not...good!  It’s like trying to take a shit after someone slipped a constipation pill into your drink.  So, I’m now 2 for 5.  I’m currently playing 400 ball, which is like...Blue Jays bad.  I need to win the next challenge to be better than the baseball the blue jays are playing.
THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE:

The due date is April 30th, 11:59 PM.  5 grams is on the line.  Same person from challenge #1, and 3 and 5 is the enforcer.
There’s a short film that I tried to write a few times, but was never happy with.  I’ve ditched the 8 pages I’d written previously and have started fresh with new characters, but same concept.  Just like my stoner sitcom, it’s something I’ve tried to write in the past, but was never happy with what I came up.  Now I’ve changed the female character, as I’m somewhat basing her on someone I’ve gotten to know recently; as a result, I think she’s a much funnier character than the original female character I just pulled out of my ass.  There you go, folks.  Sometimes it’s better to use real people as inspiration than pull people out your anus. 
Recap of the previous writing challenges:
EXPERIMENT 4 - I was supposed to write 2 blogs...one where I recap the most over-rated and worst movies of 2012, and a blog about Roger Ebert. As you can see, those blogs have not been posted, so I “lost” the challenge. If I had lost, I was going to paypal $25 to two people who posted their paypal email address or messaged me with it. Well...

I LOST...SORT OF.
A bunch of people did read my blog, but no one bothered to leave me their paypal address, therefore I didn’t lose any money after all. So ha! Take that bitches! You lost an opportunity for an easy $25. Now I still do want to write those blogs, but I’ll save it for another time.
What can I say? I had a busy week-end, I got lazy, and I noticed that no one bothered to send me their paypal address...laziness got the best of me again. So sort of thank you for not posting your paypal addresses as it would have sucked to lose $50, but for next time...post your paypal address. Tough love is what I need to not be lazy. It looks like I have a drunken week-end ahead of me, so that $50 I didn’t lose will likely end up getting me drunk.

Experiment 3: I had to either write the pilot to my sitcom (22 pages) or a short film and it’s due on April 1, 11:59 PM. If I lost, I’d have to give my friend a free HQ of weed.

THE RESULT: I WON!! This was pretty cool, because this sitcom pilot is something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I’ve taken quite a few stabs at it and was never happy with what I wrote; I kept re-starting. I would often get to about 6 pages, re-read it, hate it, and delete it and start from the beginning.

It was nice to finally write it all out, flesh out all the characters, and write in a few teases at where certain storylines and characters would go with future episodes. It was about 25 pages I wrote. I think I’m happy with the characters I’ve come up with, and I like to think it’s pretty funny stuff. I perhaps did recycle a few jokes from older scripts, but for the most part all the jokes were new, and just pulled out of my ass while I was writing. I've gotten the script notes today, and I'll re-visit and re-write the script in maybe a week. Here's the blog for financial fuck myself part 3:


EXPERIMENT 2 - SHIT GETS EPIC – GOAL WRITES 10 PAGES OF THE EPIC SCRIPT... (a chain script concept between 3 writers, of the script being passed back and forth to each other to do whatever the fuck we want to it). Here's the link to the blog of part 2:

http://thechingofcomedy.blogspot.ca/2013/03/the-financial-fuck-myself-writing.html 

WHAT WAS AT STAKE? A deal with 2 people. $40 on the line for Warren, and a permanent ban on myself to ever try to force my musical taste on Scott again. That means no more showing upto his house and being like, “Yo, this emo band is awesome!! Here’s their cd”
And him being like...SIGH..."okay, I guess I’ll listen to it."
RESULT – I WON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Scott, I’ll burn a CD of The Menzingers next time I see you. They’re fucking awesome! They’re like a punk rock version of the Tragically Hip.

EXPERIMENT 1 – WRITE 30 PAGES OF A FEATURE. I LOST (came up short. I wrote 20 pages), and had to buy a quarter ounce of weed and give it to a friend of mine for free. Here's the link to the original blog:

CURRENT TALLY:

2 wins
3 losses