Friday, March 26, 2010

You know who are some interesting villains? Wrestling villains...

Villainy is always an interesting subject to explore whether it being in books, films, TV shows, or real life villains. For this blog, I feel like writing about wrestling villains. "The Bad guys"...the wrestlers that get bood by the fans, or the "heels" for the more hardcore wrestling fans. I figure with Wrestlemania coming up this Sunday, let's talk heels.

In wrestling, you need the good guys and the bad guys, otherwise it would not be interesting. It's up to creative to figure out how to make the fans hate the bad guys. Sometimes they got lazy...they'd be like, "How can we make the fans hate Stone Cold Steve Austin? I know! Let's have him beat up women with chairs. Yeah!" On the other hand, they sometimes came up with great material.

I'm sure everyone knows this...wrestling is like a soap opera for guys. All wrestlers have characters, and there are stories behind feuds. Looking back, it must have been so much fun to be a creative writer for WWE back in the Attitude era. We're talking villains, and you know which WWE villain was given some really funny, dark material to work with? The Big Bossman.

I will call him the Eric Cartman of WWE heels. The creative team really made this guy hilariously evil. In the fictional wrestling world, if I were the good guy, Big Bossman would be the last guy I'd want to fuck with.

Let's start with his feud with Al Snow. Al Snow used to come out with a really cute dog. I don't remember why they're feuding, but Big Bossman comes out, beats up Al Snow and kidnaps his dog. On the next episode of Raw, Al Snow gets a ransom note telling him that he must show up at a certain hotel or his dog dies.

So...Al Snow shows up to the hotel being like, "Where's my dog?" to which Big Bossman is all happy to see him and is like, "Hey, Al! How you doing? Here. Sit down. Have lunch. I cooked. Tell me what you think."

So, Al Snow sits down, eats and is like, "Woah. This tastes really good." He's getting really into it when Big Bossman then starts to laugh and reveal that Al Snow has actually been eating his own dog. Al Snow then starts coughing, feeling sick to his stomach to the laughs of the Big Bossman. Doesn't that remind you of the Scott Tenenmen episode of South Park?

I think that then lead to a match for the hardcore title. It's funny what WWE comes up with sometimes to have a feud, but here's an even funnier even more evil example.

Big Bossman then had a feud with The Big Show. According to the WWE script, Big Show's father passed away. So WWE actually films a funeral for Big Show's dad. Big Show is there, crying, all sad. Then out of nowhere, Big Bossman pulls up in a car, hooks it up to the coffin and drives away with the dead body of Big Show's dad. Big Show is all emotional, and jumps on the coffin as it's being dragged away by the pick up truck screaming, "Noooo!". Big Bossman is laughing like an evil man as he drags Big Show's dead father away.

What's funny is how all this eventually lead up to their big match at a PPV, which I'm pretty sure ended with Big Show winning the match with a choke slam. It's funny how that ends a feud. It's like, a wrestler could have done the absolute worst things to you possible, yet doing your finishing move and then pinning the person to 3 is good enough revenge. It's like, "Yeah, he kind of did ruin my dad's funeral and dragged his dead body away, but choke slamming him then lying on top of him for 3 seconds. Yeah, I'm happy. Good enough revenge."

I found the promotional video package hyping up the Big Show vs. Big Bossman feud. Here it is...this is funny shit:

Watching that video package, that's what's fun about wrestling...just how absurd it can get.

I'd like to end this blog by posting one of the funniest heel promos ever done. Thanks to Moe for bringing this video to my attention:

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Just writing to say I will update the blog soon...

So I know I haven't written a blog for a while. I guess I've been having a bit of a writer's block as of late. Even writing facebook birthday messages has been a bit of a struggle as of late.

Just wanted to say, stay tuned. I'll update soon. I have a rough idea of what I want to write about, but I've simply lacked motivation as of late. It'll come back soon.

Until then...if you haven't seen it yet, please watch my eHarmony commercial parody sketch at:

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Criminally under-rated/un-seen movies Ed. 1 - Sex Drive

Note: This movie can be found at any video store. If you've never seen this movie, watch the original theatrical cut. The director's cut has some fun moments, but isn't as good as the theatrical cut.

With She's Out of my League coming to theatres tomorrow, I thought I'd write my first edition of under-rated movies on a criminally under-rated raunchy teen comedy called Sex Drive. What's the connection, the same guys who wrote Sex Drive also wrote She's Out of My League. I am wishing though that they could have directed the movie as well as I actually think Sex Drive's greatness came from the direction rather than the screenplay.

Exhibit A: Here's the opening scene of Sex Drive. Yes, we've seen this type of thing done before in American Pie...but I really think this one is much funnier than American Pie 1 or 2's opening scene...correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't recall those scenes ending with a final punch line. Especially American Pie 2's opening scene doesn't fully deliver, because the element of unpredictability is not fully there. Now on this scene...Yes, some of the humor in this scene doesn't work, but the final punchline accompanied by the older brother's last line of dialogue is hilarious and kind of caught me by surprise.

Good set up at the beginning, the following 2 minutes is a good enough distraction to make you forget how the scene began, then BAM...well delivered punch line to end the scene.

The majority of raunchy teen comedies are bad. They often think that simply having lots of swearing and having jokes about sex, masturbation and semen is good enough. The directors of abominations such as Van Wilder (in my opinion, one of the worst teen comedies of all time), Eurotrip and American Wedding need to watch Sex Drive and take notes. It's interesting...none of the humor in this movie is that original. They don't do anything that hasn't been done, yet this movie really delivers some of the biggest laughs of any teen comedy. I'll pick the funniest moments of this movie over the funniest moments of Superbad. This movie is all about taking trashy, low brow humor, but doing it well. For one, low brow humor often depends on unpredictability. If you see the joke coming, it doesn't work...(I'm looking at you American Wedding! We all fucking knew Stiffler was going to eat the dog shit. That's why the joke didn't work!) Now observe Sex Drive. There is a jail scene where Felicia is confiding in the other prisoners. The camera tracks backwards for one of the funniest reveal shots I never would have seen coming.

It actually takes some skill to make jizz jokes actually work and not just gross (I'm looking at you again Van Wilder. Your dog semen joke was a pathetic attempt at getting a laugh). The movie knows how to play up awkwardness and it knows when to go over the top and make it work.

Here's an example. Watch this scene:

Now here...most amateur comedy directors would ended the joke with stepmom catching her stepson doing something embarrassing that's it. However, Sex Drive is better than that. The humor of this scene is the hilarious reaction of the stepmom.

Observe her reaction very carefully. She sees her stepson doing this, she doesn't know what to do, so she quickly runs back up the stairs to take the "I'll pretend that I didn't notice what you were doing" approach. Though as she runs back up the stairs, the son turns around to see his stepmom running up the stairs. She then walks back down the stairs, holding the food, with a phony, pasted on smile to her stepson. She hopes that he didn't notice her noticing his making love to a punching bag. Good fucking comedy, though it's better on DVD. On youtube it's a bit hard to see the look on her face.

I will not spoil the final appearance of stepmom which to me is the funniest part of the movie.

I should also mention that Seth Green makes an appearance playing an Hamish guy who helps out the protagonist along the way. For one, I've never seen such a funny Hamish character. All I can say is...NOBODY I've seen has delivered sarcasm in a funnier way than Seth Green in this movie. Here is a hilarious scene with Seth Green on youtube:

(Ignore the "Now you don't have to waste your money to see a 1 minute scene." She doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about)

In the midst of all the raunchy comedy, there actually lies a sensitively told love story between the protagonist and Felicia, a good friend of his who he has feelings for. However, he's stuck in the friendship zone with her. There is a lot of truth and honesty to this subplot that never comes off corny.

Yes, this humor is very low brow, very trashy, but delivered with intelligence. The humor has the guts to go all the way and never pulls its punches. This is truly one of the most under-rated teen comedies of the past decade. Perhaps a good double bill would be to watch this on DVD, then head to the theatre to watch She's Out of my League.

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Monday, March 8, 2010

My rant on the oscars...

So usually after every Oscars, I tend to go on a rant and be all, "Grr! I'm angry that this happened" or "How the fuck did so and so not win!". This year though...I don't have any angry remarks. I think maybe I just didn't care that much this year after the nominations were announced. When Mary and Max failed to secure a best animated film nomination, and 500 Days of Summer and Where the Wild Things are failed to secure even a single nomination...I kind of stopped caring. But, I'll just rant about any random thing that pops into my mind.

-I liked Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin's opening and the funniest joke of the night had to be the joke about Christoph Waltz searching for Jews.

-Is it just me or did this year's Oscars fly by really fast? The Oscars usually feel really long, but this year I was surprised when they were already at the main acting categories. On the other hand, I was watching it this year in a big room with roughly 20 people, lots of booze, and junk food being passed back and forth. Had I watched it alone this year, I'm not sure I would have felt the same way.

-This year was the first where they didn't have all the bands nominated for best song perform. That saved a lot of time, and let's be honest...the musical performances were often when most people would take their bathroom breaks or channel surf. But, I think they should atleast have the winner perform.

-Okay, if there's one category they really went wrong it was awarding best adapted screenplay to Precious over Up in the Air. I still have no clue what the critics saw in that movie. I've mentioned it before, but watch this parody called "Precious moments" which perfectly mocks and ridicules the movie and points out exactly why this movie is so hard to take seriously. Its depiction is 100% accurate:

-Haha, it was funny when the best actress category was presented. When Oprah was up there, the entire room burst out laughing. It's sometimes hard to take Oprah seriously. I know. It's hard to take her seriously since she went on her show and said, "Over 9000 penises and they are all raping children!". Come on, Oprah! When the person who posted that calls himself Pedobear it's pretty obvious it's a joke.

But you know what? Oprah gave a better speech to the Precious actress than anyone else did to the other nominated actresses. Speaking of that, why the fuck was Keanu Reeves not asked to introduce Sandra Bullock for best actress? Come on!! How fucking funny would it have been to see Keanu up there? "When we were in Speed together I knew you had potential, but when I Saw you in Blind Side, I was like, 'Woah!"

-Was that an abrupt presentation of best picture or what? What the hell happened? Hi I'm Tom Hanks, winner's Hurt Locker!" Everyone in the room was like, "What the hell just happened?" Did Tom Hanks make a bet that he can present the award faster than anyone else?

-Who won for best foreign film again? I know it wasn't the favorited White Ribbon. It seems like every single year best foreign film is an upset. Last year, no one thought Departures would win over Waltz for Bashir (no one had even heard of the movie). A few years back, no one expected Pan's Labyrinth to lose to The Lives of Others. So for future oscar pools or predictions, best against the favorite when it comes to this category. Take a completely uneducated wild guess, and you just might predict this category right.

-None of the acting categories were surprises at all. I won't bother ranting about how much I hated Blind Side or what a crock of shit it was for Sandra Bullock to get the Oscar...we all knew it was going to happen. Oh how sweet it would have been for Carey Mulligan to pull the upset.

-What can I say about best picture? I'm glad Avatar didn't win. The Hurt Locker was not my favorite movie, but I'll cheer for the indy over the mainstream film. Fact is, if you want to win best picture you need a little more originality and a little less cliches, predictability, and heavy handedness. You know what movie was way more deserving of a best picture nod than Avatar? The Dark Knight. There's a mainstream Hollywood film that took big risks and never felt the need to pander. Avatar fans shouldn't be too disappointed. If I was a director, I'll gladly take being the #1 movie of all time over getting an Oscar any day.

-Comment of the night came during the best documentary presentation when a clip of The Cove was played. One part shows the ocean completely red with dolphin blood, which rightfully got an uncomfortable reaction from the audience. Pellar then says, "oh whatever. They could have done that with color correction." Fucking hilarious!

Can't think of anything else to say. Hope you enjoyed the read.

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The first GREAT movie of 2010...

Temple Grandin
Rating: ****1/2 (out of 5)
The movie is on HBO. People with TMNonDemand, you can find the movie there too.


The first cinematic masterpiece of 2010 sadly is nowhere to be found in movie theatres, but only on HBO. It's called Temple Grandin which is not only the best biopic since Monster (yes, I'm picking this one over American Splendor), but also breaths so much life into the tired, generic, schmaltzy, cliched subgenre of the "inspirational" underdog movie which is "based on a true story" (See The Blind Side and The Pursuit of Happyness as the shit-stains of this already shit-stain subgenre). I would also pick Temple Grandin over every best picture nominee at the Oscars not named Up in the Air. People who actually liked The Blind Side (the #1 most undeserved best picture nominee in the past 10 years) need to watch Temple Grandin to see how this type of movie is done with intelligence, creativity, originality, and unforced emotional manipulation. I should also mention that the movie currently has an 8.7/10 rating at imdb. This movie has not been seen by many, but those who have seen it absolutely love it.

The movie is about the life of Temple Grandin who is the most famous autistic person and who has written books which have gone a long way to help people understand her condition. She's also one of the first people who did research on animal behavior and designed a more humane and less brutal way of killing animals in slaughter houses.

Biopics have become sort of dull as of late, and Temple Grandin shows how to do it with style and originality. For one, Temple Grandin is an extremely fascinating character who really had to overcome huge obstacles in the 60s, where no one understood autism and she was often the centre of ridicule. Claire Danes is simply phenomenal in her portrayal of Temple. The movie is shot brilliantly with such a refreshing style. Not only do we learn about her character, but the film's style actually shows exactly how her mind works and the way that she sees the world. It lets you see life through the eyes of an autistic person. It's interesting that she understood animal behavior so well, because she can put herself in the minds of animals and see the world through their eyes.

Let's not only compliment Claire Danes. If there's another award calibre performance it's Julia Ormand as Temple's mother. Her life raising an autistic daughter was by no means easy, and society back then tended to blame autism on poor parenting. Through-out the entire movie, you see a mother who is so caring, but never sure that she's doing the right thing and making the right decisions for Temple. Catherine O'Hara also does some great work in the movie.

Not only did I learn a lot about autism, but its look at animal behavior and slaughter houses is also really interesting. Most of all though, Temple's life makes for a very fascinating story. It all leads to what I think rivals The Shawshank Redemption as the all time greatest feel good ending, which works on so many levels. Not only is it great to see how far Temple got in life, but most importantly it is a really inspirational ending for all autistic people. This movie's here to confirm with them that there is nothing wrong with them. Possibilities in their lives are endless.

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