Monday, March 8, 2010

My rant on the oscars...

So usually after every Oscars, I tend to go on a rant and be all, "Grr! I'm angry that this happened" or "How the fuck did so and so not win!". This year though...I don't have any angry remarks. I think maybe I just didn't care that much this year after the nominations were announced. When Mary and Max failed to secure a best animated film nomination, and 500 Days of Summer and Where the Wild Things are failed to secure even a single nomination...I kind of stopped caring. But, I'll just rant about any random thing that pops into my mind.

-I liked Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin's opening and the funniest joke of the night had to be the joke about Christoph Waltz searching for Jews.

-Is it just me or did this year's Oscars fly by really fast? The Oscars usually feel really long, but this year I was surprised when they were already at the main acting categories. On the other hand, I was watching it this year in a big room with roughly 20 people, lots of booze, and junk food being passed back and forth. Had I watched it alone this year, I'm not sure I would have felt the same way.

-This year was the first where they didn't have all the bands nominated for best song perform. That saved a lot of time, and let's be honest...the musical performances were often when most people would take their bathroom breaks or channel surf. But, I think they should atleast have the winner perform.

-Okay, if there's one category they really went wrong it was awarding best adapted screenplay to Precious over Up in the Air. I still have no clue what the critics saw in that movie. I've mentioned it before, but watch this parody called "Precious moments" which perfectly mocks and ridicules the movie and points out exactly why this movie is so hard to take seriously. Its depiction is 100% accurate:

-Haha, it was funny when the best actress category was presented. When Oprah was up there, the entire room burst out laughing. It's sometimes hard to take Oprah seriously. I know. It's hard to take her seriously since she went on her show and said, "Over 9000 penises and they are all raping children!". Come on, Oprah! When the person who posted that calls himself Pedobear it's pretty obvious it's a joke.

But you know what? Oprah gave a better speech to the Precious actress than anyone else did to the other nominated actresses. Speaking of that, why the fuck was Keanu Reeves not asked to introduce Sandra Bullock for best actress? Come on!! How fucking funny would it have been to see Keanu up there? "When we were in Speed together I knew you had potential, but when I Saw you in Blind Side, I was like, 'Woah!"

-Was that an abrupt presentation of best picture or what? What the hell happened? Hi I'm Tom Hanks, winner's Hurt Locker!" Everyone in the room was like, "What the hell just happened?" Did Tom Hanks make a bet that he can present the award faster than anyone else?

-Who won for best foreign film again? I know it wasn't the favorited White Ribbon. It seems like every single year best foreign film is an upset. Last year, no one thought Departures would win over Waltz for Bashir (no one had even heard of the movie). A few years back, no one expected Pan's Labyrinth to lose to The Lives of Others. So for future oscar pools or predictions, best against the favorite when it comes to this category. Take a completely uneducated wild guess, and you just might predict this category right.

-None of the acting categories were surprises at all. I won't bother ranting about how much I hated Blind Side or what a crock of shit it was for Sandra Bullock to get the Oscar...we all knew it was going to happen. Oh how sweet it would have been for Carey Mulligan to pull the upset.

-What can I say about best picture? I'm glad Avatar didn't win. The Hurt Locker was not my favorite movie, but I'll cheer for the indy over the mainstream film. Fact is, if you want to win best picture you need a little more originality and a little less cliches, predictability, and heavy handedness. You know what movie was way more deserving of a best picture nod than Avatar? The Dark Knight. There's a mainstream Hollywood film that took big risks and never felt the need to pander. Avatar fans shouldn't be too disappointed. If I was a director, I'll gladly take being the #1 movie of all time over getting an Oscar any day.

-Comment of the night came during the best documentary presentation when a clip of The Cove was played. One part shows the ocean completely red with dolphin blood, which rightfully got an uncomfortable reaction from the audience. Pellar then says, "oh whatever. They could have done that with color correction." Fucking hilarious!

Can't think of anything else to say. Hope you enjoyed the read.

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